"The Torchwood base at Darlig ulv Stranden has a problem with zombies. Well, one zombie (suspected). And when the pictures come through in London, Rose is shocked to realize who it is."

He had been playing music like this for four years, and that was the first time he ever felt it, down to his bones (or, the one where they're musicians and Jim and Spock still kind of hate each other).

Xander swallowed heavily and tried to grin. He was so going to have to hurt Willow, later. Okay, yeah, kissing the guy he was developing serious crushiness on was all to the good, sure. But having said object of crushiness have to kiss him, because of a bet? A bet two girls made, just so they could watch two guys make out? This was not how good first impressions were made.

Insta-fic! Inspired by the vid of emo boys kissing so generously linked to by ladycat777 and ros_fod, my version of kissing on a dare with a high-school aged Spike and Xander.

Millionaire playboy Tony Stark needs horse riding lessons. His two instructors are more than willing to give him other lessons, too.

Behind the long line of locks, Bruce waits for a chance to escape. Collared, imprisoned, property of the army. Until Lord Mage Anthony Stark ... decides he's not having that. Fantasy AU.

Steve Rogers is the new hire at the Stan Lee Marvel University’s History department.

Excitement is the last thing to cross Bruce’s mind when the teacher announces there will be a partner project and the teacher is picking the partners, thank you very much because everyone would pick their friends and no one would expand their minds at all. Bruce doesn’t know a single person in this class and he is extremely self conscious about being the only sophomore in the class. And then the teacher says “Bruce Banner and Tony Stark” and Bruce’s heart constricts. Tony lazily turns his head and figures out who he is based on the fact that he’s the only person in the room he doesn’t know. Tony saunters across the room and slides into the seat in front of him. “Are you some kind of nerd?” Tony asks him. “You’re not a junior because I know all of them so you must be a sophomore or something."

Steve hasn't always had this ridiculous crush on Tony Stark. (Or, the one where Steve is his polite old self and doesn't really hate Tony Stark (unfortunately), Tony is a child progidy and apparently a cab driver now, too, and high school is still high school, even when you are the son of a billionaire.)

In which a mutant too famous to cull is dropped like a grenade into the midst of the peace process, a foolish monarch proves himself secretly shrewd, the power of friendship functions as a force multiplier, and it is discovered that in the Great Game of espionage, the dealer does not always win.

You're going to leave the toybox in the closet tonight, because you are fairly certain that you can ruin him six ways to Sunday without even a pair of fuzzy handcuffs to back you up, and you really don't want to give the poor guy an aneurysm or something.

John and Vriska wake up in bed together after a party. Can their bropalship survive in the wake of alcohol and hormones?

You lose your pale virginity to John Egbert at a Gamzee Makara party.

Since the universe knows just how terrible Karkat Vantas is, the unseen forces of fate decide to make him live with Dave Strider. Little did he know that Mr. Insufferable Prick would end up being the main reason he survived college.

She's silhouetted in the bright morning light; a shining angel that sets off your headache almost immediately and proclaims Hark ye, maiden of the grain and grapes, today will be a Day Moste Shittey.

CG: I'VE SPENT ALL AFTERMIDNIGHT PACING UP AND DOWN MY NEW BLOCK IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR. THE ONLY REASON I HAVEN'T YET PACED MY WAY TROUGH THE WHOLE SHIP IS THAT IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE FUCKING ERIDAN. CG: WHADDYA THINK OF A CAPE? DOUCHEY, RIGHT? CT: D--> I would most strenuously advise against it. It would only obstruct the sharp lines guiding the eye to the waist of your exquisitely tailored jacket. CG: YEAH, I LIKE HOW THE JACKET CUTS SHORT RIGHT OVER THE TIGHTEST WHITE PANTS KNOWN TO TROLLKIND TOO. BE A SHAME TO HIDE THAT. CT: D--> That wasn't CT: D--> I mean CT: D--> I was merely admiring the craftsmanship. CG: YEAH, THAT KIND OF SKILL IS WORTH BEING ADMIRED. I SWEAR TO FUCK THERE'S AN ASS-LIFTING TRICK SEWN RIGHT IN. BUTT-WONDERBRA. MY TUSH IS ALREADY PRETTY GOOD USUALLY BUT DEAR LORD, *I'D* DO ME.

Ex-military Eridan Ampora has an honorable discharge hanging on his wall, dreams of battlefields that haunt him around every turn and a pair of trolls who scurry around his house and snoop in his things when they think he isn't looking while they wait for their own scars to fade. Somehow, he thinks that that's enough. Inspired by Unwanted Free Ugly Troll.

Karkat gets kidnapped. When Gamzee hears, he just goes with the flow. Competence? From Gamzee Makara? It's more likely than you think.

Karkat blamed it all on Missus Jane.

Looking into mirrors has always messed with your head, but this is nothing like a mirror image. It’s like looking at yourself distorted even further, sharper, the bare bones and skin shaped into something more solid, but still thin and tense and narrow.

"Okay. Let's work on shelter first. You ever build a treehouse?" Sh-t, Tavros's little impressed face kind of gets you right in the pump biscuit.

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!” Derek raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress. Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.” (Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

Derek's expecting the new guy. He's expecting another mostly-useless college kid who doesn't know one end of a horse from the other, and Derek doesn't have the time to babysit. What he's not expecting is Stiles Stilinski, who carries on conversations with the livestock and gets maybe a little too chummy with Isaac and is really kind of stupidly perfect in every way. And it's just distracting, that's all.

Stiles gets a massage. And then some. Alternatively: in which Stiles' mouth gets him into trouble, again and again.

The third time, Sidney is taking out the trash, and the boy is having a staring match with a raccoon.

It's not a glamorous job, but you can set your own hours, the pay rate is good now that you know what you're doing, and it leaves you with enough free time to enjoy your hobbies. You like to think you're doing pretty well for yourself.

Steve Rogers just wanted to sell good, nourishing, cheap food from his food truck. Now the crazy fusion chefs from TOBRU are calling him a hipster, the avant garde restaurant "Shield" across the street has declared war on chains, and...well, then there's Thor, who thinks Steve's habit of licking food is weird.

Geno will maintain until his dying day that the first time he sets the house on fire is definitely not his fault.

He just knows that Nepeta has been growing like a midblood, fast and hard, and either he's growing slow like a highblood (hah) or he's done already. And this should piss him off, and it vaguely does, even now, but they were having such a nice time reminiscing and then he tripped in the dark and she caught him, sure and effortless, and it was like every romcom ever only he was the heroine. The ensuing makeouts he blames on the alcohol. Not to say that when she lifted him off the ground by the waist to pin him to a tree and bring to more comfortable kissing height, his nook didn't flood like someone had dynamited a giant fucking dam.

Scott leaves for ten years and comes back.

A kidnapping gone bad.

It's a cross between an office romance and a hostile alien takeover, and it ends just the way you would expect.

AU. Jonny's a hockey player, Patrick's a figure skater, they meet in a book shop.

Zack has the best worst ideas.

It’s extra great—whenever Jo’s losing, she always makes like their running point tally competition isn’t real. Tonight’s true to form: when Trish holds up three fingers and points at herself, then two before pointing at Jo, Jo actually scoffs as she pokes at a couple chicken breasts with the tongs, trying to find the best one.

Equius gets ridden, in more than one sense of the word.

Sid is almost 18 when he moves to Pittsburgh for a job--and the gay scene.

Sid and Geno are superheroes. Sid has an easier time of it than Geno does.

Stiles wants to win for America, okay? He wants to bone that constipated expression off of Derek Hale’s face on a bed strewn with American flags while Bruce Springsteen plays in the background and a bald eagle watches through the window with a single tear rolling down its cheek.

Normally, Laura is perfectly willing to delicately coach her baby brother through the endless labyrinth of his emotional manpain, but Laura’s dissertation is due in two days and she just flat out doesn’t have the time.

For their tenth birthday, Stiles had gotten Allison a mug from a kiosk at the mall with AREN’T YOU GLAD WE EVOLVED OUT OF NEIGHBORING CELLS on one side and a picture from their school trip to the zoo, the one where Allison was hitting a goat trying to eat Stiles’ shirt, on the other. It’s such a metaphor for their entire existence that Allison puts it on the mantle of every subsequent house that they live in, next to their parents’ wedding portrait.

For fifteen years, Sidney has lived on the palace grounds in Petrograd. In that time, he has spoken to Prince Evgeni five times.

The Coalition states for the record that it considers Her Imperial Condescension, Empress of Alternia and its conquered territories a Criminal, a Liability to her own people, an immature brat unfit for power, a Crazy Old Bat and an Abuser, and we do hereby charge her with Corruption, Corruption of Minors, Exploitation, Exploitation of Minors, Slavery, Slavery of Minors, Indoctrination, Indoctrination of Minors, Violation of the Prime Directive and Violation of seventy percent of the Chart of Universal Rights for the Sapient Species, and we declare to unanimously hold her in Contempt.

Asuka I wrote you a thing. It’s a slight AU playing with the idea of the kids having minor holdovers of their game powers. Not enough to affect day-to-day life, but just enough. All ficlets take place before they’re pilots. For some of the iffier powers I made guesses about how they would translate, most notably Dirk’s. He is the ghost in the machine. 8|

You had thought he’d been so adamant about you coming over after school today to ask you out. And instead he gives you a fucking dick in a box and you tell him to take off his pants. Fucking great. Wow you suck.

The first rule of Troll Fight Club is : you don't talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Troll Fight Club is : you don't. Talk. About Fight Club. And you sure as hell don't let humans join.

"No, but answer me this, do you want to invalidate this whole farce of a legal and religious joining of blah-di-fucking-blah? Because I have looked at your laws and if we don't consummate the union it's not valid!" -- Anonymous asked: Davekat. Arranged marriage! The first time they are alone together is on their wedding night.

"Honey, if you looked at johns the way you look at that car, you'd have the boys lined up down the block."

anonymous asked: wolfbrothers johnjadekat

Anonymous asked: Dave/Karkat/Jade urban fantasy. Dave is a vampire, Jade is a werewolf, and Karkat is so done with all this supernatural bullshit. (not super urban hahaha)