With their anniversary drawing close, Parker learns about the birthday of sex, finds an apprentice and stumbles into a job for the team. Also wherein Eliot is growly and awesome, Alec is a genius, Sophie is the fastest con in the west… or anywhere, and Nate puts up with all of them. ** Winner of Best Case Fic 2011 Fulcrum Award **

Eliot found a way to make his style work at Dalton Academy. It just worked a little too well.

Fury temples his fingers together. “Tell me how this started?” Phil tries to give a reasonable report of today's incident. As he spent most of his day trying to keep grade-school aged versions of his team away from a team of gunmen, he has only limited success.

It's Go Time!

Despite all appearances, Loki was quite good with children. Mostly his own, but other children too. Even if their parents disapproved. Crack one-shot, Avenger!Loki/Norse!Loki, no pairings. Complete.

When he was younger, Clint wished really hard for someone. They could be on the road to anywhere and they invariably are. Clint's fingers rest on Coulson's and, like the trapeze or the bowstring, he has learned the value of grip and he doesn't leave bloody fingerprints anymore.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not my father.”

"They're not going to bite, you know," She drawled without even turning to look at him, as she forced a sausage-like Harleybertian leg in a leg-hole. She was smirking, though, he could tell from her voice. "Or projectile venom. Hell, even vomit wouldn't get that far." Prequel to Battlefield Terra. 3 000 words of Mr. Strider meeting his newborn clonebabies for the first time. Also features Doc Lalonde.

You have to put him in school, and if you weren't busy trying to make money to keep a roof over his head in this world where neither of you belong, you would be all about home schooling. You have to prepare him for the game. You only got eight years left.

Aradia had always thought seadwellers were all nasty, ruthless, terrible monsters who abused their place on the hemospectrum. After an encounter with the Heiress herself, she realizes that maybe not all seadwellers are bad after all.

Ex-military Eridan Ampora has an honorable discharge hanging on his wall, dreams of battlefields that haunt him around every turn and a pair of trolls who scurry around his house and snoop in his things when they think he isn't looking while they wait for their own scars to fade. Somehow, he thinks that that's enough. Inspired by Unwanted Free Ugly Troll.

Five times the Avengers pawned kids off on the Jean Grey School.

"We'll make this work somehow, sweetheart, won't we?" he said, swaying back and forth a bit as it warmed up. It probably made him look stupid, but he'd discovered there were a lot of stupid-looking things he'd do to keep his baby girl happy.

Sidney is starting to get a reputation amongst the Pens for being the go-to guy for free childcare. Or, five times Sidney babysat and one time someone babysat for him.

Claude gets a new car. Cameron doesn't like it.

“People who want to eat my grilled cheese for dinner should learn not to interrupt the delicate purchasing process with their unwelcome mockery,” Claude says. Danny and Claude move to Berlin. Nothing really changes, until everything does.

She passes it down, from mother to child, from father to child, until it ends up in his hands. The story and the cloak just as they where the day they were made.

This wasn't supposed to happen. In the lists of things Brent wasn't expecting, this is at least third on the list, after 'being able to talk to animals' and 'growing wings' (but before 'zombie apocalypse').

Scott leaves for ten years and comes back.

Gee and Neal's first meeting.

Asuka I wrote you a thing. It’s a slight AU playing with the idea of the kids having minor holdovers of their game powers. Not enough to affect day-to-day life, but just enough. All ficlets take place before they’re pilots. For some of the iffier powers I made guesses about how they would translate, most notably Dirk’s. He is the ghost in the machine. 8|

The group gets an assignment and Abed gets a clue

Abed finds a little bundle of joy on his doorstep. A montage happens.

One rainy afternoon Tony gets home to find a wet-haired child in an over-sized bathrobe sitting on the penthouse couch, watching cartoons. “Um, what,” says Tony. “Oh, hey,” Harley says, noticing him. “JARVIS showed me where to go. He told me to leave my clothes in the bathroom so they could dry, and said I could borrow one of your bathrobes. You have a really big TV, you know that?”

What if Castiel had taken a different vessel?

It turns out that when you're almost constantly on the move, monitoring your birth control can prove to be challenging. It could happen to anyone, right? (Begins after the end of Fast Five, no spoilers for Fast and Furious Six.)

Stiles gets kidnapped by crazy hunters. It's super.

Tywin Lannister died without any other heir than Tyrion Lannister and his young wife Sansa, and rather than continue the mad fighting in Westeros Tyrion severed all ties and declared Casterly Rock neutral until a single King sat unquestioned on the Iron Throne. The fighting still continues, but House Lannister now takes in war orphans who are raised by Lady Sansa--it is this custom that first draws Daenerys Targaryen to Casterly Rock.

Temari couldn't bake worth shit. It was commonly known among the village that Temari wasn't exactly a girlie-girl, but before their marriage Shikamaru'd had no concept of just how much the traditional wife he would be.

Three weeks after their wedding, they give Sherlock a ring.

On the variable meanings of home and adventure. Tulio and Miguel find a new city and an orphan finds a new family.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: omg Utakata and Haku making delicate icebubble art pieces in the winter and Zabuza scoffs at them but he still sits and watches them put the pieces together and even volunteers kubikiribocho sometimes because that hole at the end is a pretty good bubble ring.

Kurama just wants to finish his nap in peace. A particularly idiotic human is making that rather hard.

Okay, and that was why Bruce had sidekicks. It absolutely made a person feel better about all their shitty mistakes.

Sanji and Zoro show a little of their affection and mutual respect (the uninitiated say it looks a lot like 'trying to beat the shit out of each other', but that's because they don't know these two guys very well)

Eliot technically stole a baby, which is actually the least of Leverage's problems.

Two dorks raise a baby and don't even realise they're doing it together until it's too late Alternatively, Ryan Bergara is Trying His Best Thanks

“Honey,” Wade calls over his shoulder without taking his eyes off their visitor. “Why is there a teenage mutant in our breakfast nook? Not that I’m not happy to see you,” he says to Negasonic, who raises her eyebrows owlishly. Vanessa comes out of the bedroom and hooks her chin over Wade’s shoulder. “Do you think she heard me getting my spanking?” he whispers. “Because that was *private* noise.” “I don’t know,” Vanessa says. “But she looks like she needs some coffee and pancakes, don’t you think?” Negasonic grins. It’s scary as fuck.

InkStainsOnMyHands

“Hang on,” Obito whispers, pressing his hand against the back of Sakura's head so she won't have to watch the White Zetsu approach. “Close your eyes, Sakura, you’ll be fine.” Maybe he can bargain with them, or maybe he can stall them, useless as he is. Maybe there's a way she can survive this, even if Obito can't. And then there's a step, loud on the rocky bank. “I think,” a voice says, calm and perfectly even, “that you're trespassing on Senju lands.”

Itachi was a good looking troubled teenager left to wander the country unsupervised in the company of a group of insane criminals. He may have made a few questionable decisions involving alcohol and women. It is also worth noting that no-one actually got around to explaining the use of a condom to him. The results are depressingly predictable. Or the one where Itachi missed shinobi sex ed and ended up creating spawn across half the elemental nations, which Sasuke somehow ends up responsible for.

It was only supposed to be a game. A fun way to pass the time. Maybe even make friends. How was Tsuna supposed to know Jumanji had a mind of its own, or that 'survival game' was very literal?

“I slept fine enough,” Jaime grins back. “And I’m sure your daughter won’t have my head for anything that’s happened in the last moon.” “That she won’t,” her father agrees. “And please, the last thing I dared hope for her was that she’d marry someone who would just care for having heirs and not even knowing them. All things considered, I think any woman in the realm would kill to have you for a husband.” “Just everyone’s luck that she waited long enough to run into me, right?” Or: in which Brienne is off being a knight in shining armor and Jaime is in no way shape or form stopping her from doing it.

Dudley Dursley's life is exactly as he'd like it: ordinary.

Fenris has dedicated himself to hunting slavers, but there's one inevitable outcome that comes from such a profession. And that is freeing mages.

In which Lan Xichen, nearly thirteen, visits Nie Mingjue, newly appointed Sect Leader - and decide to swap brothers for a day.

Lan Xichen wished that people in Qinghe weren't so notoriously reluctant to share personal information. It was one thing not to know exactly how old someone was, or what their given name was, but entirely another thing to belatedly find out that there was a new baby in the family.

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian escape the burning of the Lotus Pier, but they're not alone: along with them, they bring three of their youngest shidi, little children who can't contribute and are only a burden - and who sometimes see (and say) too much. (“– and then shixiong put me down and told me to go back,” he said, crying bitter tears. “He said to tell you that you have to – that someone has to avenge –” “That idiot,” Wei Wuxian said, his lips were numb. “The Wens – they have Wen Zhuliu there! Doesn’t he know what they’ll do to him..!”)

Wei Wuxian’s life might have been different if his mother had gone onwards to visit the Jiang sect, following a glimpse of that handsome young man she’d met so briefly early on, but in the end she’d decided to go a different way – (Wei Wuxian is one of Jin Guangshan's illegitimate sons, and Cangse Sanren is having exactly none of it)

The healers said it was trauma. Perhaps he was too young, or too sensitive; perhaps it was only that it had happened in such a way, at such an impressionable time – in any event, Lan Wangji’s reactions to his mother’s death had gone well beyond the normal signs of grief and turned into something much more severe. After some intense discussion, it was agreed that he should be temporarily sent to live as a guest in another sect to see if he would benefit from the change of scenery. From not being around the place where he was drowning in the memories of his mother. They sent him to the Jiang Sect.