Karkat Vantas, despite numerous protests, has just joined Alternia High's Gay-Straight Alliance. Shenanigans ensue.

Drabbles inspired by the Texts From Last Night website.

*post Chapter 52* Everyone's feeling down after saving Eren from the Armored Titan. Jean's attempt to cheer everyone up changes everything. One Titan Shifter gave humanity hope. Imagine what seven can do.

Apparently Supernatural was real, which was presumably why Gabriel was bleeding out onto Richard’s floor. (In which the actors of Supernatural find that reality is stranger and more disturbing than they previously believed, even counting Misha, and an injured archangel discovers that his universe is the subject of a TV show.)

What it says on the tin. (Including Follow-ups to: Maybe one of these days you can let the light in, and One Of Those Things, and Mrs and Mr Pond..)

A collection of my shorter fills for snk-kink on dreamwidth. Mostly gen humor. Mostly.

Orochimaru is on the edge of breaking when someone unexpected pulls him back to solid ground. When the time comes, he returns the favor.

Rose said later that "I was really fucking bored" was insufficient explanation or indeed justification for the First Triennial Human/Troll Flashstepping Competition. (Now with a tiny sequel!)

So, um. Terezi is kissing her. By the way. "Wowza. Lesbos R Us, at long last. I knew that day would come. Anyone got a camera." Terezi has a lot more teeth to get nibbly with than Karkat and her tongue is way longer and oh lord does she know how to use it. Jade wonders to herself, vaguely, why she never kissed her boyfriends' girlfriend before. That was a really silly oversight. Mmm. "Haha, shut up, Dave, you've been modeling for the Gay Dudes R You catalogue for like three years now." "Like you can talk, Mister It's Not Gay If He Doesn't Have Balls To Touch." -- oneshot, plus a couple of ficlet sequels.

He felt like the naked girl who'd just been a white wolf and the half-naked guy who'd just been a mangled corpse dragged into his barn by a wolf completely deserved his screaming. The ~magical~ turd-licking fence-fuckers masquerading as his classmates had been sneak-flirting with him for weeks. "Is my life actually a shitty supernatural romance?! Am I going to develop more special than you powers that somehow never matter half as much as who I fuck? Am I supposed to arbitrate your little game of which one of you is the sexiest alpha male by gracing them with my boy cooch?" -- now with sequel pesterlog silliness.

In a world where Omegas far outnumber Alphas, a dowry system is in place. The Omega’s family offers a dowry in order to secure a respectable Alpha match, with the highest dowries netting the “best” Alphas. Aunt May struggles to secure an Alpha for her Omega nephew’s first heat. All her meager savings can afford is a butt-ugly (by his own admission) Alpha without much experience to speak of. Peter would rather go unmated than lose his virginity to a guy that can’t go five seconds without making a Monty Python reference. However, it seems Peter has no choice…

Five times that no one was thinking of Shiro as a dad.

"You're fucking with me." Tim blinks up at his uncle – and he's never seen his uncle in full armor before, not in person. It's kind of daunting. "Please tell me you're fucking with me, spawn."

The men in Nana's family carry a very strange curse. They swap bodies with anyone they kiss. Tsuna really wishes he'd known that before he fell onto the pretty girl with the very loud brother...

“No,” Obito says, flat and cold. It’s testament to how much she’s hardened over the last year that Hinata doesn’t even blink. She certainly doesn’t waver, feet planted firmly on the other side of the bed and eyes fixed on him. “Do you really think I would come to you if there was any other option?” she asks quietly.

"That's fine, you can go back to your own ship," Luffy dismissed easily. "But later on, when I become Pirate King, we're getting married!" The declaration held the kind of absolute finality that only Luffy could be capable of, and Law felt his jaw drop. NOW COMPLETE :D

Fate has always had a love-hate relationship with the members of Team 7, and Sai is just now realizing that's he's most definitely not exempt.

The Asgardians' ship stops for supplies. The price is not what Thor and Loki had expected; the aliens demand nothing less than a public royal fucking. Ok, it's not like it's the weirdest thing they've ever done.

“Midoriya,” Aizawa said slowly as if the sound of his name alone took ten years off his life. “I’m going to need you to run that by me again.” “I said I need to punch Endeavor in the face.” “That’s what I thought you said.”

Maybe getting dragged all the way from Wave to Konoha won't turn out to be such torture after all.

“Reborn!” He squeaks, voice caught somewhere in his throat as panic starts to set in. Coming to the swift and horrible conclusion of what his sadist tutor is going to make him do. His thoughts are proven right as Reborn begins to explain. “When searching, people tend to overlook the opposite sex. No one thinks a mafia boss will be willing to put on a dress just to escape from capture. They assume it is against their masculine pride or some such nonsense.” Reborn’s grin is practically predatory, obviously enjoying Tsuna’s discomfort. “That is why it always works if you know how to blend in correctly.” ----- aka; the fic where Tsuna goes undercover as a girl to a local festival to learn how to avoid being captured by enemies, but ends up sexually frustrating Yamamoto Takeshi who wasn't aware he had a very specific fetish.

The breakup starts with Magnus. Well, no, it doesn’t. The breakup starts when Alec finally says the words “I’m gay,” and Jace says “Okay?” and Alec looks at Magnus, out and proud, and happy, and he knows that he wants that. He wants to be able to hold hands, and kiss, and have sex without worrying about leaving hickeys where they might be seen. Or: Alec wants a public relationship. He can't do that with Jace, so they break up, not very cleanly. Magnus steps in, and then Jace gets jealous.

The best revenge is living well. And maybe also spitefully staging a minor political coup to take over Konoha as payback for getting stuck in an arranged marriage.

“I just want to go home,” he tells Nagato, and hates that he sounds so very much like the crybaby child Kakashi always calls him. Nagato's expression twists, grief and sympathy all wrapped up and tangled together. He catches Obito's bandaged face in his hands, leans in to touch their foreheads together, and it’s closer to anyone than Obito has been in years. “I know,” Nagato says, hoarse. “I know, Obito. But we can save everyone we love, we can save the world. All it takes is our sacrifice. And someday, when we’ve put everything to rights, we can go back. We can live in a good world with everyone we care for, and know that we’ll never lose them to war. Isn't that worth it?”

In which Tsuna has some fairly inconvenient opinions, Iemitsu has been happily living in denial for years, and Reborn now somehow has to sell organised crime to a bunch of student hippie activists. He is not amused.

Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number 5's parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening.

Once the scent came to his nose, Oberyn had to pursue it. He had to find the source.

Tobirama loved Itama enough to go against the natural laws in an attempt to bring him back. For Itama, it’s time to return the favor.

Adrift in a strange universe, Marc gets hired to take out a Jedi general. He agrees, even knowing it won't be an easy mission. What he doesn't expect is the interference of one Commander Cody, which throws him into a tailspin and sets off a cascade of events that absolutely no one could have predicted. At least Khonshu is having one hell of a time.

accidentalGuard!Zuko AU. A Ba Sing Se crime noir where, instead of totally ignoring that Zuko stole a guard's swords to fight Jet, the guards lovingly gangpress this crazy-good-swordfighter who is the nephew of this crazy-good-teamaker into helping out around the station. They quickly learn that the tea skills are not hereditary. And trouble follows this kid.

"By the Heavens, did you hear? The Yiling Patriarch has been invited to the Discussion Conference in Qinghe!" Gossip was, by far, the fastest way for information to spread. "What! Whose idea was that!?" It was not the most accurate or most reliable method, but people were people, and the tedium of daily life would always bore them. "I heard it was the Nie Sect leader's suggestion." ---------- After thirteen years in the Burial Mounds, the Yiling Patriarch finally makes a public reappearance. Civilians are scared. Cultivators are outraged. Sect Leaders are concerned. Wei Wuxian has been too quiet, they say, and nobody knows what dark horrors the Burial Mounds may now contain. Wei Wuxian wouldn't quite call them dark horrors, but the description wasn't too far off. (tl;dr Wei Wuxian lives, raises a whole gaggle of demonic cultivator children, and the cultivation world panics.)

Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?” “Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.” “There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly. In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.

Nie MingJue wakes up. And that doesn't make sense, because he knows he died. Aka: After everything is said and done, Nie MingJue gets brought back Wei WuXian-style and tries to figure out just what on earth happened in the meantime. In the process he also reunites with his brother, drags Lan XiChen out of seclusion, becomes drinking buddies with Wei WuXian, learns about Jin GuangYao's downfall, meets the next generation, and features (not always intentionally) in a number of reconciliations.

Wei Wuxian meets his soulmate when they reach for the same bunch of daffodils at the local bodega. Too bad he immediately puts his foot in his mouth. How can he repair the damage and convince this beautiful man to date him? Let the group text conversation begin! (for the 50 Meetcutes meme - You reach for the same bouquet in a flower shop)

A month and a half into his duties, a letter arrives. Lan Zhan, it reads, I miss you already. Throw over your responsibilities and meet me at the western ridge at Qixi. Yours, Wei WuXian. -- Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi parted ways after Yunping — but not forever. [!!CQL verse!!]

Listen. A-Qing loved food as much as any other self-respecting person of the global era, but this? This was about more than food. This was about art. This was about humor and science and culture and—and okay, two of the hottest men she'd ever seen in her life. --- A Youtube cooking channel au of Wangxian lmao --- Bonus channel descriptions: suibian, 6.39M subscribers: [太辣？不认识!] not a pro chef >:3c Cloud Recesses, 9.74M subscribers: Cloud Recesses is a food and entertainment media company based in Suzhou City. Our aim is to share one of the eight famous Chinese culinary art forms, 苏菜 (Su cuisine), with the world. WangXian Week 2020: Day Three: Celebrity | Rebirth | Mementos

In preparing their ambush, the Jin sect was careful to get rid of all the human corpses at the Qiongqi Path - They forgot that the reason the path got its name was that, many years ago, Wen Mao killed the great beast, the Qiongi - and when Wei Wuxian started playing, he noticed that there was still some dead thing, deep beneath the ground...

Jin Ling has had it up to here with the Jin Sect. Fuck these morons. He doesn't have to put up with this shit. Jiujiu is never going to marry, anyways. He's gonna need an heir for his respectable sect. Jin Ling volunteers. Wei Wuxian is in deep doodoo. 1. Quit Your Job as The Youngest Sect Leader in History. 2. Buy Lots of Donkeys in Revenge for Losing Your 'Trophy Husband' title. 3.Ban Gold Bathtubs Because You Can't Break Them. 4.Raise Dumbass Disciples and Make Up with Your Estranged Brother Through Shared Misery 5.Slightly Change an Entire Market by Making One Thoughtless Comment 6.Wake the Elders Because You Decided to Teach The Disciples a Curse in the Middle of the Night

There’s more to being a Nie than wielding a saber. Or 5 things Nie Mingjue tries to teach his brother, and one he learns.

Was there such a thing as an A/B/O novel that didn't end on an omega being mated by their one true love, their fated partner? That fucking Airplane towards the sky! Couldn't even get the genre he was writing in correct! Yet that was the mystery that had kept Shen Yuan reading! When would Liu Mingyan and the protagonist bone down? Even after they'd had their first five children and the harem had hit the triple digits, Shen Yuan had kept reading lured on by Airplane's glimmers of plot, backstory and writing ability slightly above that of a concussed toddler. ------------------------- “Of course I couldn’t make Mobei Jun an alpha,” said Shang Qinghua, having the fucking nerve to look pityingly on his best reviewer. “Bro, would three hundred million words have been enough to protect their chrysanthemums from each other in the fanfic forums? I just never mentioned it so it never came up so I never had to decide it. Problem solved.”

Scenes in the life of Shen Qingqiu, the multiverse's most reluctant female lead

"It was a plot point, dude," says Cucumber-bro, in the slow, patient voice of someone speaking to a stupid dog. "It was an actual, literal plot point you typed in with your own like, sinful hands." "No it wasn't," says Shang Qinghua immediately. "I think I would like, fucking remember writing a scene where some chick gets an actual fucking dragon corpse dropped on her door and immediately gives it up for the person who brought it!"

His head hurts, and Xanatos would very much like to find whoever chained him up facedown on a filthy stone floor and remove their spleen with a rusty spoon. (Or: Xanatos is not a Jedi, not a pawn, not in the right universe, and most of all he is not amused by any of this.)

Feral gets kidnapped by a Jedi Master. It's the best thing that's ever happened to him. Aka how Plo Koon’s foray into Sith-napping saved the galaxy, featuring galactic road-trips, daring expeditions into Sith strongholds, plenty of soul-searching, pirates, the Death Watch, senators with big blasters, more pirates, and three brothers who weren’t prepared for any of it.

Jon Antilles has spent most of the war keeping his head down and staying out of the fighting. But when he and Fay find evidence of a new bioweapon going to production on a Separatist planet, they move to destroy it rather than let it be deployed against the clone armies. Dooku's presence is an unexpected complication, and rather than break cover, Jon lets himself be captured and thrown in the Count's personal dungeon. He's not the only one there, however. Rex and his men have also been captured, and they're not about to trust a stranger in their midst. Jon has to pick between keeping out of the war the way he has been or rescuing the clones, blowing his cover and losing the freedom he's fought so hard for.

Quinlan finds a man frozen in carbonite on Geonosis. That's just the start of his problems.

Getting flung five years into the past is pretty much a miracle. Crash-landing on the weirdest Jedi Master he's ever had the misfortune to meet is a lot more like one extended headache for Rex, especially when he also has to contend with a brand new Force sensitivity, old friends, a Force spirit wearing a familiar face, Sith Lords, ruthless cloners, and the looming shadow of a coming war. Maybe it really would have been easier to make like Obi-Wan and find a nice, sandy planet to bury himself on.

Only a few years after being Knighted, one of Feemor's missions takes a turn for the worse. He's saved from certain death by a Mandalorian in black and red armor, a Mandalorian who just happens to be looking for the same long-lost artefact that Feemor is after. With Feemor injured, they have to work together to find it, but that's just the start of the trouble.

Nyx wakes up on an alien world, the imprint of the Ring of the Lucii burned into his finger. It's still not the weirdest thing that's happened to him in the last twenty-four hours.

Agen Kolar is many things, but prepared to play babysitter for a repentant Sith is definitely not among them. However, Vader holds the keys to a conspiracy that could bring down the Jedi, and in light of that, Agen has to make allowances. (Anakin Skywalker just wants another chance. One more chance to make the right choices this time around, and save the galaxy he once destroyed. And if a weird, surly Zabrak Jedi Master with a penchant for punching people and a talent for finding trouble can help him, he'll take it.)