Pepper didn't want to know how Natasha had access to a camera overlooking the gym showers. She just wanted more margaritas.

"But he had seen the eggs Sollux chose, plain white and faux-chitinous. They were only objects. He had seen no elaborate pulsing, vibrating tubes concealed around the hive, no geometric anomalies or live creatures in the egg jar, and with growing disbelief Karkat began to wonder if Sollux was inexplicably on the vanilla side of what was turning out to be an entire subculture of oviposition." Sollux picks up some jelly and a dozen eggs.

Lan Xichen's boyfriend comes over all the time, but he doesn't stay long. (Or, Wei Wuxian is the only one anyone knows who is comfortable showing himself in a dispensary. This leads to an obvious misunderstanding with big stoner Lan Xichen's straight-edge brother.) (Or: Lan Zhan finds out the fun way that he likes to fuck stoned.)

Proud Immortal Demon Way's fanfic selection is vast, terrible, and filled with things much worse written than the original work itself, and that's saying something. Shen Yuan was just enough of a masochist to willingly, after another stupid update where Luo Binghe has to papapa another sister for some ludicrous reason that doesn't even make any sense, decide to delve into that lurid cesspool of creative death and unbeta'd pornography far more explicit than anything Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky had ever written. Which is how he finds himself in a fanfic called Proud Immortal Demon's Milky Way.

Nolan flips to his messages, but as expected, it’s mostly just unoriginal openers—who’s going to respond to sup, honestly—and unflattering dick pics. He rolls his eyes and goes back to the profiles. He comes across one guy, just a scant two miles away, who actually has his face in his profile picture, which is a refreshing change. He’s cute, longish dark hair with a sneaky smile, and his name is Travis. Nolan has never started a conversation with anyone before, but again: antsy and horny. He debates for an embarrassingly long time over what to say and finally settles on something simple. And dumb, probably, but the magic of anonymity is that he doesn’t really give a shit. And at least it’s miles better than a dick pic of a soft dick, which Nolan didn’t know was actually a thing until he got more than one. The bar is low, is what he’s saying here.

How many times can you kill a man before you ultimately change who he is? How many times can you kill a man, before he ultimately changes who you are? ~*~ Obi-Wan, desperate to see his mission through and knowing he's dying already, sells himself to a vengeful mandalorian if only he'll finish the job in Obi-Wan's stead. That goes about as well as you would expect. (It doesn't.)

An uncomfortable family supper takes a turn for the worse after a secret is exposed. The King believes a hasty marriage can hold the family together, but how can that sustain peace when one of the grooms hates the other? “When were you going to announce that your second son is an omega?”