Jake Jensen is sixteen when he meets Tony Stark at MIT. He's nineteen when he joins the US army, and twenty-four when he becomes a Loser. Becoming a Loser is also when he happens to discover that DADT might apply. But that is not where this story begins. It begins on a cold, winter morning in Massachusetts, when a little girl with hair the colour of cornflakes meets her newborn brother for the first time. (In which there are evil toasters, all-around nerdiness, and ohana ).

In which Cougar goes home, goes on a road trip, and learns to cook.

I'm great. It's great under here. Visit scenic Pile of Detonation Rubble, population you and me.

AU—Jake Jensen left the Army before he ever had a chance to be a Loser. Cougar meets him anyway. Sometimes what a man needs to have a chance at happiness is losing the battle he’s been fighting his whole life.