So, my resolution to blog more! How about blogging hilarious TV? I have rarely seen TV more hilarious than Teen Wolf.

Stiles runs away during his first heat, right into the waiting and ambiguously scary arms of the Alpha's nephew, Derek Hale. He doesn't have any choice except to submit, but along the way, he digs up a mystery that threatens his family and even the town's safety.

Stiles does some research on pack dynamics.

In which Stiles cooks and takes his meals with weirdos.

When Stiles goes to college, for some reason, he has to share an apartment with Derek, which sucks, because Derek still hates him the most. They fall in love.

When Stiles goes to college, for some reason, he has to share an apartment with Derek, which sucks, because Derek still hates him the most. They fall in love.

In which there is a lot of talking about Disney. A lot.

Unresolved Stiles Tension (or Four Times Stiles Asked If Derek Found Him Attractive, and the One Time Derek Actually Answered)

For the prompt, "Blowjobs are super helpful for calming people down."

We can't all be werewolves.

Merton and Stiles met in a chat room. Merton knows the 'script' Stiles is writing about a human and his troubles with a werewolf pack isn't a script at all. But how does he approach the subject without making himself sound crazy in the process? A very important question will finally be answered. What makes a pack?

Derek had the bad habit of stealing Stiles' phone every time he came over. He didn't have one of his own, and Stiles had never seen a problem with him shooting off a text to someone as long as he didn't rack up minutes or download games...or porn.

Written for the prompt: Scott and/or Jackson come over to see Derek and find Derek and Stiles fucking (the rougher, more animalistic, bitey, knotting, etc the better). Scott/Jackson end up secretly watching them, getting totally turned on and jerking off. Bonus if Derek is totally aware they're being watched and puts on a show (preferably, with Stiles unaware).

He would’ve made a joke about that, about letting Derek in, but Derek was a werewolf, not a vampire, and he could probably show up uninvited whenever and wherever he damn well pleased. Which, after that, he did. And Stiles couldn’t bring himself to mind very much.

Derek gives Stiles his jacket.

Derek's always knew that Stiles is in love with him. But only when Stiles left for college he realizes that he feels the same way. When Stiles comes back home for vacation smelling like he belongs to someone else Derek loses it.

Six events in Derek and Stiles' life where Stiles does something to make Derek growl at him and they choke those around them with all of the UST. Then finally Derek explains to Stiles why he's been acting like this.

Stiles and Lydia never should have become friends, for Derek’s sake.

I've seen some great girl!Stiles fic, but I'm really curious to see some girl!Derek fic. Can be gen or Derek/Stiles (and if anon wants to make Stiles a girl, too, I wouldn't complain...)

"But for some reason, when Stiles sees Derek talking to Lydia, the two of them painfully good-looking, all she can think about is that her hair is in a messy ponytail and there's pizza sauce on the hem of her t-shirt. It's not like she wants to go on a montage out of a '90s teen film and come out like Rachel Leigh Cook on a staircase, but Stiles maybe thinks she doesn't want to look like the homeless one in the pack."

Stiles has come to the realization that he’s going to need to tell the pack that he’s transgender before they find out on their own. He’s only ever told one person before, and he’s still thankful Scott was a true best friend. He only hopes the others take his news as well.

Teen Wolf/SGA team-fic, with Lydia being awesome. “This is a terrible idea,” Stiles tells the room again. “You’ll all be sorry when Derek pushes me off a cliff.”

In which there are parties, awkwardness and orgasms.

“We are not killing her! God, do you even hear yourself?!”

Danny is not anybody’s gay yoda. He’d like to make that much clear. Go Big or Go home; The Fight, And Fate; I'm an Animal Too; I Wish I Was the Moon

When Derek finally realizes that there's nothing left for him in Beacon Hills, he goes back to New York, gets a life, falls in love and finds his home. (A podfic/fanfic collaboration)

Stiles is in the sparse woods on the slope beside Beacon Hills Cemetery, which wasn’t where Scott said he’d be at all, which is why it takes Derek an hour and a half to find him by following the grease-boy-whiskey scent of the Jeep’s meandering path.

Gyzym's not!fics are addictive, I swear. So here are four more, kinda-sorta in the Bedtime Stories 'verse, but this time with bonus Teen Wolf! The titles are pretty self-explanatory, the links are to the texts on gyzym's tumblr, and I haven't linked to their individual downloads because that made the page really confusing - the files are clearly labelled, so if you don't want one, you can just delete it from the group folder.

Come Now, We're Children (Let's Play A Game): He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one. Totally Not A Meet-Cute: "Gerard has had a crush on Train Guy for a while, but just going up and talking to him would be weird. He needs a reason, right?" In the Belly Of: "Because space whales…fish…are a thing. In multiple universes. (Look, Todd asked and I said Okay, and this is what happened. I don’t know either.)" Turn Your Head: "Written for the genderplay square at kink_bingo's April 2012 "gift baskets" challenge." Apple Bottom Jeans (And Other Love Songs): "Or, how Steve Rogers--kind of--learns to dance."

Kink meme fill. Stiles knows he isn't attractive to gay guys or straight girls. He decides to check in with Derek on the straight dudes thing. Scott wants it known that his only problem with this is that he had to be there to hear it.

He's always hidden it. Them.

Stiles learns that even with werewolves, giant lizards and psychopathic hunters on the loose, life can still find other ways to screw with you. Case in point: everyone keeps assuming he and Derek are a couple. What the hell?

"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma." (Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)

There's a pattern Sheriff Stilinski just can't ignore.

Derek steps away from the window. “You helped me. They took that as a declaration."

Stiles doesn't notice the constant buzzing in his head until it's gone.

Gyzym's not!fics are addictive, I swear. So much so, in fact, that I've done... sixteen more XD Since there are so many of them, I've put streaming in for all of them on my LJ, and all sixteen can be downloaded from the link below. All are rated G except the one marked otherwise

"Dude," Jackson said, and Danny stopped what he was doing, because when Jackson started sentences with 'dude', he was either about to share something deeply personal or about to try and get them expelled for excessive pussy jokes, and Danny had problems with both of those options.

For this prompt on the LJ Kinkmeme: Stiles leaves leaves a notebook of his at Derek's or in his car or whatevs, and Derek goes to take it to him and notices that it's filled with little hearts with Stiles+Derek, and Stiles Hale, and Derek Stilinski, and tons of doodles of little wolves.

He has no idea what you're supposed to say when you find one of your...werewolf acquaintances, completely out of their mind, growling like they're about to see what your insides taste like. There's no handbook for this. Stiles is thinking that if he survives he might write one.

Stiles accidentally ends up magically bound to Derek. It’s super.

When they cross the boundary into Hale territory, Stiles shifts a little in his sleep, shoulders hunching. Lydia's immunity carries over into most of the supernatural world: she can't be bitten, she can't be poisoned, and she's never been able to do magic on her own. Unlike Stiles, she can't feel the veil that separates Beacon Hills from the rest of the world. Sometimes she wonders if what happened before they left would have turned out differently if she'd undergone some transformative alchemy, but usually she tries not to think about it at all.

"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma." (Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)

"I accept your body!" Stiles says hurriedly. "I accept you. Sexually." There is a pause. Derek says, "Thanks."

Danny is not anybody’s gay yoda. He’d like to make that much clear.

Derek's a dressage rider with a reputation for frowning and making people cry. Stiles is an acrobatic stunt rider whose resume includes medieval-themed dinner shows and the actual circus. Derek's an Olympian, he doesn't need this shit.

Stiles gets a massage. And then some. Alternatively: in which Stiles' mouth gets him into trouble, again and again.

Derek doesn’t get why he likes it so much. It’s just not -- he hadn’t expected to need this. Not from Stiles. Not from anyone, ever. He doesn’t do this. Except he does, now. Because it’s for Stiles, and Derek -- fuck, he likes it too.

It’s like this dog has walked out of all of Stiles’ childhood dreams and into the real world just because Stiles wanted it hard enough. He is the most awesome dog ever, and Stiles and his new dog totally have a bond. A deep, unbreakable bond because this dog is his spirit animal, obviously. Now he just has to convince the dog of that.

"Watching Stiles heal someone has always been a little uncomfortable for Derek, like he's seeing something intimate and private that shouldn't have an audience. That's nothing compared to how it feels." This is an AU in which Stiles has magical healing powers.