"You're not a very good Jedi, are you?" the Sith Lord said. "Oh, excuse me, I am an excellent Jedi," Rodney said.

The Rogues were glad to have their Commander back after Bespin, but it was obvious to his friends that something besides the new prosthetic was wrong. So the fantabulous four dragged him aside to find out what had gone wrong on the city in the clouds, not expecting what they got, but not completely surprised either.

The Clone Wars were long over, barely touched upon in history except as the proving ground of the Jedi Conspiracy. But they lived on in the memories of those who would never forget the days of blood, sweat and tears that history forgot. They would never forget when those flashing sabers meant reinforcements, leadership, hope. Would never forget when Skywalker was a name to be in awe of, when Kenobi was calm personified. Then a silver cylinder reappeared in their lives. A Skywalker walked down the ramp. And they dared to consider, they dared to hope. A series of one-shots examining the thoughts of Clone Wars veterans, because Luke was the Last To Know.

“You know, when most people impulse shop, they come back with a new datapad, some nice shoes, maybe an antique blaster. Not an eight-year-old junkyard slave.” A smuggler’s Force prompted purchase changes the course of the galaxy.

Many have said that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Few can attest that the road back is far harder to conquer. Now Anakin has to face everything he's become, avoid the suspicion of everyone from the Jedi Council to Palpatine, and try to prevent the future from turning out as badly as it had before all while somehow finding a way to bring balance to the Force...again.

Obi-Wan is exhausted, drunk, and just about out of fucks to give.

In the aftermath of the assault on Starkiller base, Finn struggles with his recovery, and Poe struggles with his feelings.

Rey is different from Finn; all sharp angles with kinetic energy beneath pale skin, eyes wide enough to take in the sky. A completely different kind of beauty from Finn, but beautiful all the same. Oh no, thinks Poe Dameron, with a sinking realisation.

“An exciting change for the greatest pilot in the Resistance,” the General tells him, “I would hope that we have a more successful trip than last time.” “I would argue that my last mission was very successful, ma’am.” In more ways than she knows. It’s early enough that Finn is still pretending to be asleep, and Rey is curled next to him, a tiny lump in the pile of blankets. (a sequel to room of heartbeats)

The idea brings its own problems, of course. Rey was a one for so long that it’s been hard to get used to being a two with Finn, but at least for that she has seen models that she could learn from, even living and scavenging in the wastes of Jakku. There were some raggedy families headed up by parents; one or two young couples who shared their food and took turns sheltering each other from the sun. She has no frame of reference for this, for threeness, but she knows she wants it. Never mind that she’s never seen it done before. She’ll have to make it up as she goes; at least she’s good at that. There’s the family you’re born into, and then there’s the one you make for yourself.

someone said "touch-starved Finn" and the next thing I know I'm writing a tragic backstory and sickeningly cute OT3 cuddles - “Pick yourself up, FN-2187,” they’d tell him. And then they’d hit him again.

Finn is somewhat underprepared. Poe is only trying to help.

“Shut up and hand me that tiara,” she snarls at him, flapping her hand at the dresser where it's perched jauntily on top of his blast helmet.

Rey steals Finn’s clothes. So in some way she’s stealing his clothes.

An alternate take on leupagus's Space Princess Poe.

“There just - there weren’t a lot of prospects in the desert!” Rey folds her arms, furious.

He hears: “turn here” and “listen carefully” and Poe nearly trips as a Stormtrooper says the words that wrap around Poe’s right thigh.

Finn loves his friends but doesn't have the words for it yet. Rey cares about her friends but is wary of what that might mean. Poe is perfectly aware of everyone's feelings, thank you very much, and doesn't understand why nobody's kissing yet. (BB-8 just wants to get everyone awesome ships to fly around and show off with.) A story about what it means to love, what it means to be able to love, and (a little bit) piloting a spaceship as a metaphor for love.

trying to find that one post where y’all speculate about Finn realizing he needs to provide a surname, and he just goes with “Dameron” because that’s the first one which comes to mind

My name is Ben. My world is fire and blood. Once, I was a Jedi. A warrior of the Light, fighting for a righteous cause. As the galaxy fell, each of us in our way was broken. It was hard to know who was more mad: me, or everyone else. Here they come again, worming their way into the black matter of my brain – the children, thousands upon thousands of them, bound up in silken braids. None of them my flesh, but each a part of my soul. I tell myself: they cannot touch me. They are long dead.

"So either you're not here or you're not living," she says. "I'm definitely here," he replies, and there's amusement in his voice.

In which Tobirama is sort of Obi-Wan, Madara is Anakin but not quite, and Obito and Kakashi don’t quite fit the roles of Asajj Ventress and Luke Skywalker but try their best regardless.

The Sith Lord Darth Vader lived his life. He probably didn't live it well, but he lived it as well as he knew how. At the end there, he'd even managed to woman up and kill Sidious. But he was dying, and at peace with the past. The past wasn't at peace with him.

He dueled him for many a long minute, and then trapping him at the end of a gantry, removed his hand from his wrist. Luke was surprised, but said not a word beyond his cry of pain. After a silence of several minutes, Vader came towards him in an agitated manner, and thus began,

We all know that Hoth was a simmering mess of hormones and stress and I would pay good money for a soap opera about them. Here are some things which Definitely Happened. (Featuring Stabby who is definitely not a space doomba.)

The stars in a little slave’s eyes when she falls in love with a glamorous boy are the same as they would be in any other universe.

The Sith Lord Darth Vader lived his life. He probably didn't live it well, but he lived it as well as he knew how. At the end there, he'd even managed to woman up and kill Sidious. But he was dying, and at peace with the past. The past wasn't at peace with him.

In which Kix figures some things out, and human pregnancies do not happen overnight.

Han Solo: Worst Omega Ever meeting Han Solo: Worst ALPHA Ever, of course, obviously that would have to happen. OBVIOUSLY. both Leias are doomed. and also inappropriately turned on. and also DOOMED. so I guess this is a Star Wars post now whoops.

Me and my husband, watching a martial arts film] Me: See, now this is how the Jedi should have recruited their Padawans: you find some dude and then challenge him to a fight, and if he kicks your ass you then have to beg him to teach you.

The New Republic has been after Luke, Leia, and Han to commit to doing some PR work. Their ideas have ranged from bad to worse. When they come to Leia with the notion of one of the trio starring on a holonet competition show, the last thing she and Han expect is for Luke to volunteer to go on Dancing Across the Galaxy. And nobody expected him to actually try and win.

After much deliberation, careful study, and scientific analysis, Wes Janson decides that the Fate Of The Galaxy is entirely dependent on the state of Senator-Princess Leia Organa's hair.

Lightning Squadron’s been in some pretty tight places since the war started, but Ponds has to admit that slavers are a new one.

It’s always been something of a point of pride, for Ponds, that he never really has to worry about his general.

Adrift in a strange universe, Marc gets hired to take out a Jedi general. He agrees, even knowing it won't be an easy mission. What he doesn't expect is the interference of one Commander Cody, which throws him into a tailspin and sets off a cascade of events that absolutely no one could have predicted. At least Khonshu is having one hell of a time.

There’s a child hiding behind his robes. Mace looks down, brow rising like a warning flare, but doesn’t move. Leia looks back, all big, innocent brown eyes and perfect guilelessness, and pulls a fold of brown cloth over her head as she practically stuffs herself under his chair.

“There’s too much to be done,” Padmé says, and looks back to meet the holo’s flickering gaze. “Our base on Ithor was compromised, and I can't take the time to vet a bodyguard—” “Then it’s a good thing,” Obi-Wan says with careful cheer, “that I found one for you.”

The ancient people of the Zeffo contact the Jedi in a cry for help,they need force users who can connect to the living force,who can save something dear to them. But the price of life is itself something dear,and one Obi-Wan is not sure they can pay.

The sight of Obi-Wan sprawled out in the warm, shallow pool, eyes closed as he drowses, is too much for any sentient to resist, and Kit certainly isn't about to try.

Thire's grimace is apologetic, but that doesn’t stop him from saying, “We’ve got a guy from that group of infiltrators who got rounded up last night asking to speak with command.” Fox waits, brow raised, because if every lowlife who wanted to talk to command ended up in his office he’d never do anything else. Thire knows that, too. If this guy rates a mention, there’s a reason. Thire's expression says he needs a vacation, and also someone else willing to play messenger. “He says he’s a Jedi, sir.”

“Leia, it’s fine,” a man says, and it’s not quite soothing. More entreating, and Boba wrinkles his nose, shifting slightly. His hands are cuffed behind him, and one of his captors was smart enough to steal the lockpicks from his belt. Boba hates smart enemies. “It’s not fine,” the woman says acidly. “Luke, he tried to kill us!” “Only once,” Luke says stubbornly. “And technically he was taking Han alive.”

“You have to take her to the crèche, Antilles,” Nico says sternly. Jon doesn’t clutch at the little Togruta girl, doesn’t bury her in his robes and hide her away from Nico's judgmental stare, doesn’t pick her up and run with her. Personally, he thinks it’s an admirable show of self-restraint, but given the downturn of Nico's mustache, he doesn’t agree.

Quinlan finds a man frozen in carbonite on Geonosis. That's just the start of his problems.

Getting flung five years into the past is pretty much a miracle. Crash-landing on the weirdest Jedi Master he's ever had the misfortune to meet is a lot more like one extended headache for Rex, especially when he also has to contend with a brand new Force sensitivity, old friends, a Force spirit wearing a familiar face, Sith Lords, ruthless cloners, and the looming shadow of a coming war. Maybe it really would have been easier to make like Obi-Wan and find a nice, sandy planet to bury himself on.

“I'm not going to stay with the ship,” Anakin says, outraged. Savage closes his eyes, not quite praying for patience, but—reaching for it, certainly. Having a padawan has been good for his self-control in ways Savage hasn’t even wanted to consider too closely.

With a sound of quiet sympathy, Kit reaches out, tapping his knuckles lightly against Rex's pauldron. “Forgive me, Captain, but I believe you would be far more comfortable without your armor. The beach cannot be a pleasant place for you right now.” Rex pauses, almost startled by the idea of taking his armor off. He’s on a mission, or at least the disastrous tail end of one, and unless he’s on leave, he almost never strips down to his blacks. And it’s been…months, since his last stretch of leave that wasn’t cut off before it even started. “Oh,” he says dumbly, and then flushes, reaching for the clasps on his armor. “Right, sorry, sir.”

“Sir, please,” Kix says, the closest Cody has ever heard him to tears of frustration. It’s enough to make him stop dead, because Kix never sounds like that. “I just need to stitch you up, that’s all.”

“Be careful,” Jon says, though Nico likely doesn’t need the reminder. “If the Sith Lord notices—” “Then he’d best not,” Nico says, and vanishes with a ripple of light. A moment later, the door opens, then shuts again, and Knol snorts. “Fancy tricks, all of you,” she says, amused, and takes the hand Jon offers her. “Says the woman who eats fire,” Jon says. “With the Force.”

“One more,” Alpha decides, and beneath him Jon can't do anything but moan, hitching and ragged.

Nyx wakes up on an alien world, the imprint of the Ring of the Lucii burned into his finger. It's still not the weirdest thing that's happened to him in the last twenty-four hours.