"a fic where derek earnestly reviews sex toys"

Derek works at a porn store. One day, Stiles comes in asking all sorts of TMI questions about different toys. That's where it all starts.

There are reasons he doesn't usually come down for the parties: people, mostly, and alcohol. But there's a reason he has, this time, and that reason made four dozen cookies earlier and is currently pressed up against his side.

“I simply don’t believe it,” Dorian tells him shaking his head. “No one can make a man come without touching him, Ben-Hassrath mind tricks or not.”

Summary: read the tags. that’s it, that’s the story. Or: Dorian gets a tattoo of The Iron Bull's name on his arse. And is then tagged in a completely different way.

In a world where Omegas far outnumber Alphas, a dowry system is in place. The Omega’s family offers a dowry in order to secure a respectable Alpha match, with the highest dowries netting the “best” Alphas. Aunt May struggles to secure an Alpha for her Omega nephew’s first heat. All her meager savings can afford is a butt-ugly (by his own admission) Alpha without much experience to speak of. Peter would rather go unmated than lose his virginity to a guy that can’t go five seconds without making a Monty Python reference. However, it seems Peter has no choice…

“I don’t care for that honorifics crap. Well, I guess Ygritte hasn’t told you, did she?” “Told me what?” “What I thought. Just call me Robb. I don’t get off on people calling me titles.” “And what do you get off to then? If I may ask.” “Sure you can. I get off on people trusting me to do right by them. Which means that unless everyone is happy, it doesn’t work for me.” Or: where Theon Greyjoy and Robb Stark walk into Ygritte's BDSM club one evening. Calling it good karma is probably an understatement.

The cellular union of Eddie Brock and Venom is not without consequences. Alternatively, Eddie goes into heat (or some alien equivalent of it). It's Venom's fault. "The need unfurls inside of him—doubled but easier to bear now that it is shared. He understands what must be done, has always known. It is as basic and primitive as breathing."

“I already told you, I’m not gonna break, you don’t have to go slow.” “What if I want to, though?” Kirishima murmurs quietly. “What if I wanna take my time with you?” Bakugou shivers.

Prompt from the Kink Meme: Kirishima gets oversensitive after using his quirk too much, and somebody (Bakugou) fucks him until he's so overstimulated that he cries

They're playing a game, the same one they've played time and time again, and Tim fully intends to win.

Geralt mistakes Jaskier for a, ahem, lady of the night, and Jaskier goes with it. As you do. "I don't require a whore." Funny thing is, Jaskier wasn't about to offer. He means to convey words to that effect to settle the matter and dispel any potential future misunderstandings, but finds himself saying instead, "Why not?"

Xiao Zhan doesn’t bother listening or saying anything in response to Yibo's ranting, just holds the phone a little closer to his face and lets a low moan hover at the edge of his breathing. He’s looking at the red tip of Yibo’s cock where it peeks out from his foreskin and thinking about licking it. Yibo’s indignation comes through clearly over the phone. “Are you— Are you jacking it, Xiao Zhan?” “Uh huh,” Xiao Zhan sighs, and tries his best to let the wet sounds of his hand on his cock get louder. Maybe he should grab lube for extra squelchiness. “Oh, no way. Nope, I can’t handle this,” Yibo declares and the line goes dead. Xiao Zhan laughs softly to himself, and somehow that transforms into the convulsions of orgasm and he comes all over his hand. He takes a picture and sends it to Yibo. see you tomorrow

Thursdays are for boxing. Thursdays are for Nie Mingjue. He pretends, sometimes, that they’re peers, even though they’re in different weight classes and always will be. He likes spitting and snarling at Nie Mingjue just to see what he’ll do, to push and shove at the boundaries. Nie Mingjue, it feels like sometimes, has self control the way that ponds have ice in the late fall- delicately and temporarily and easily disturbed.

Xue Yang's pretty sure that he could be a better girlfriend to Song Lan than whoever the fuck he's actually dating. Like, pretty sure. Almost certain. (xue yang and song lan go to the same gym, and xue yang has never been good at resisting temptation)

Jonny’s prostate is a gift from the gods. Patrick’s patience, also.

That's the end of the talking for a while, but it's only the beginning of Patrick thinking about it. He does some research, but it turns out that googling "what does it mean that I like getting held down during sex" doesn't provide much helpful information, and he can't bring it up with anyone, so he just – thinks about it, instead. It's probably more thought than he's put into anything before in his life other than hockey, but it leads him to some pretty interesting conclusions.

You are not your biology. Tyler’s mother had told him that so many times growing up. When he told her he wanted to play hockey but was afraid to go up against so many alphas. You are not your biology. When an alpha triggered his heat during a scrum and Tyler had to be carried off the ice, fever already burning up his bones. You are not your biology. Tyler wishes he could believe her.

Harry goes to a massage parlor that offers special services.

Believe it or not, Obi-Wan Kenobi had a rebellious phase. It just so happened that, once acquired, he never really grew out of it. -- In which Obi-Wan is a hobbyist exotic dancer. (And is really rather good at it, too.)

jaskier has three things: an unstoppable libido, a limitless imagination, and the continent's sexiest traveling companion. sometimes, this leads to certain accidents. they become a little less accidental over time. or: five times jaskier accidentally orgasms because of geralt, and one time he comes very much on purpose.

Dabi narrows his eyes. "Alright. Let's say you don't die. You still have a limited amount of blood, and a lack of blood flow or oxygen to your brain could probably cause permanent damage that even your immortality can't repair." "I'll stop you before that happens," Hawks says, with way more confidence than he has any right to have. "You have zero self-preservation instincts," Dabi has to point out. Hawks grins at him, shooting him finger guns. "So we doing this, or what?" ~ Dabi is a vampire who's never had human blood straight from the tap before. Hawks is a dumbass college student cursed with immortality. What could go wrong?

Aizawa is more than a little stressed as he begins the transition from full time hero to teacher.

He is almost embarrassed that the Ton is viewing with what raptures Kate has him in simply through her intoxicating scent of lilies, her slight touch, and her quick wit. Almost. When she is to be his wife.. she can have Anthony at her mercy, with no vicious mamas or gossip-mongering pamphlets or ridiculous courtship requirements of polite society to hinder them. Anthony is feeling anything but polite. She’d hold her tulips while he serviced her, goddammit! Oh, how he wants… he groans inwardly at the thought.

“- I just… It’s my thighs.” “I love your thighs,” Alex shrugged, “It’s… they’re big.” “I know,” Alex grinned, his tongue tracing his bottom lip almost like a reflex, “They're really strong. It’s hot.” Henry kicked at his leg from where it was hanging off the sofa and relished in the pained hiss the brunette let out, “What I mean is that… they’ll…” “They’ll?” Alex urged, quirking an eyebrow as Henry groaned, throwing an arm over his face. “They’ll crush your big stupid head.” “Please Henry,” Alex murmured, “Want you to sit on my face.” OR Alex wants his boyfriend to sit on his face. That's basically the fic.

The best thing about the SEP, if you had to ask Gabriel, was the fact that it not only boosted his aptitude for combat and made him an even better soldier than he was before, but it also brought Jack Morrison into his life. While he wouldn't say he had a fetish for catfolk specifically, the fact that the SEP also worked wonders on enhancing the cat-like qualities of their catfolk soldiers wasn't exactly something that helped Gabriel's fascination with his roommate’s (who later became his lover-then-husband) nature either.

They call Ghost a tease for never posting videos or pictures with him fucking more than his hand; some even offer to buy him a fleshlight, just so they can get the chance to watch his cock in action. None of them know the truth. Ghost's cock doesn't belong to him. Not when he can't use it properly.

A series to follow Apollo, Midnighter, Slade and Jason pucking and fucking. Follow Apollo, Midnighter, Jason Todd, Slade Wilson, Mark Grayson, and Dick Grayson through the world of this lovely hockey AU. A world where all the hockey fandom tropes meet DC! Goalie nesting, winner's room, kneeling, poaching... if we can dream it up, it'll be here!

Tim and Cass (and to a lesser extent, Steph) share everything. That’s just a fact. Clothes, safe houses, gear, food, showers, toothbrushes— —and sexual partners.

Peter finally has a day to himself, and he decides to relax, maybe take out a couple of toys. But then Deadpool comes by and finds this remote on the counter and oh God the vibrator's still inside of him.