Show of hands, who didn’t read it as a porn prompt? anyone? anyone? bueller? Contains sort-of-public sex, oral and penetrative sex, some slurry retention.

Shawn goes undercover at a BDSM club and runs into Lassiter. He assumes Lassiter is undercover as well. He's wrong.

Honestly, Pat isn't sure how they got here. He's had a lot to drink, and they've been engaged in about four hours of what was Mario Kart war but turned into an epic Smash Bros. tournament, and somewhere along the way bets that required badges of honour were made, except instead of badges of honour somebody—okay, probably Pat—decided they were to be badges of shame, and somebody—again, probably Pat—decided the winner got to mark the loser so everybody could heckle him until it faded.

Sometimes, announcing something can be done without any words being spoken.

It takes Stiles four days to notice something’s wrong. Well it’s not like jerking off three times a day is unusual behavior. The third day, he has his usual good morning session, comes straight home from Lacrosse and jerks off without even taking off his jeans because it’s laundry day tomorrow and it’s not like he’s got standards. And everyone jerks off last thing at night; it’s like a glass of warm milk for your dick. Stiles has been hit by a jerking off curse. He might not make it through May unscathed.

It starts, like so many things do, with a dare.

AVN BREAKING NEWS-- DIAMOND VISTA RIDGE BREAKS HIS CONTRACT WITH HALE HOUSE "We haven't seen much of our favorite rock hard stud from Hale House ever since that indie twink dethroned him as champion in Orgasm Wars, but it's just been confirmed that Diamond will no longer be working for the legendary studio famous for producing some of our favorite werewolf-on-human works. Don't fret, Diamond fans, it looks like he's been spotted cozying up to True Alpha Studios! Apparently he couldn't get enough of that one human and then followed him home. Could it be true love? Keep your eye on this studio-- us at AVN think we're about to get a lot more of Diamond in a very new way!" ~ The one in which (almost) everyone is a porn star, and Derek just wants to curl up with his fluffy blanket and watch the Hallmark channel, but work and falling in love gets in the way.

A one-shot collection for my aged-up Killugon fics from now on!

Dorian is feeling frisky in the crowded Herald's Rest.

The Antivan language and sex on the war table: just two of Bull's varied interests.

Dorian can not believe this is happening. When he’d come down to join the Chargers for their evening drinks this time, rather than taking his usual seat next to Krem, his lover had grabbed him about the waist and pulled him into his lap. Dorian had flushed red and the Chargers had broken into a chorus of laughs and hoots. “This okay?” Krem murmurs the question into his ear when the hollering dies down. Dorian is still blushing but he nods. It’s not the first time they’ve done something like this, though he still can’t quite believe Krem wants this, pressed close to him in public, obviously affectionate, despite the watchful eyes of the tavern patrons.

"I got you this." He sets a tiny box on the table between you and nudges it in your direction with psionics. You stare at it. It's the right size to hold a human-style commitment-designation ring, which you sometimes think would be a cool thing to have but as far as you know he's never been interested in. "For those times when I'm being a jackass and you need to snap me out of it." A little smile, a hint of the smug asslord creeping back in around the edges of the apologetic matesprit. "Or when you just want a shortcut to getting my attention."

CRONUS: vwhat i'm trying to say here is that i vwant to engage in a mutual stimulation of erogenous zones vwith you, perhaps in a starbucks hygiene block, and then make a wvery humble request about possibly getting you to hop on the bandvwagon for my nevwest project. CRONUS: but i really can't emphasize enough the part vwhere i blovw you to obliwvion vwithout any expectation that this vwill affect your decision vwith respect to my musical endeawvors, because that's just the kind of selfless guy i am. CRONUS: vwhat do you say?

Sollux has been looking at you at least once every five minutes for the past hour, and you can tell by the way he's worrying his lip, hardly listening as John bullshits him about some shitty tech job he did last week, that he's just not going to last the night. You bet the fact that the buzzing between his legs is at a different tempo than the one playing over the speakers is really wearing thin on his patience.

"You kissed me in front of thousands of people." Viktor laughs, masking behind a gasp when Yuuri's grip on his hair turns deathly. "I did. I was so proud of you. You did so good." He pauses, relishing in the nervous tremble of Yuuri's shoulders. "We're in a bathroom, you know. You want everyone to see what you did to me?" "Maybe."

"Gokudera turns to Yamamoto, fixes him with the best glare he can manage. 'You didn’t bring a sleeping bag, did you?'" Yamamoto brings himself but not a sleeping bag to Shimon Island, and Gokudera is self-sacrificing.

The Asgardians' ship stops for supplies. The price is not what Thor and Loki had expected; the aliens demand nothing less than a public royal fucking. Ok, it's not like it's the weirdest thing they've ever done.

“I don’t care for that honorifics crap. Well, I guess Ygritte hasn’t told you, did she?” “Told me what?” “What I thought. Just call me Robb. I don’t get off on people calling me titles.” “And what do you get off to then? If I may ask.” “Sure you can. I get off on people trusting me to do right by them. Which means that unless everyone is happy, it doesn’t work for me.” Or: where Theon Greyjoy and Robb Stark walk into Ygritte's BDSM club one evening. Calling it good karma is probably an understatement.

Eddie briefly recalls some tentacle porn he’d watched just before Venom became a part of him. The copious vines holding her up and entering her every opening simultaneously. Fluids, from her or the monster who could tell, leaking from her mouth and pussy and ass. Oh, Eddie. Venom’s thought shook him, definitely not wanting to take their tongue out his mouth, How’d you keep this from us? Eddie had to be completely honest… he had absolutely no idea how he did either. ~ That good good tentacle fuckin' that Eddie so desperately wanted.

Short fics originally posted to my Tumblr, edited and collected here.

Noctis Lucis Caelum is evil, and he loves it when Prompto's body is a slave to his music.

Entering the games is a bargain.

The harvest god Kogane requires an offering of seed—and not the kind that you plant. Shiro is more than willing to provide.

No one would help him get to the bottom of Kerberos, and it had all reached a breaking point when Iverson threatened to terminate Keith’s scholarship if he kept snooping. So Keith got what he came for, the little black book no one was ever meant to find, and stopped snooping. Because now, he’ll have someone else to do all the snooping for him. The situation isn’t ideal, Keith thinks as he slits his palm open and methodically draws the pentagram on the floor, placing the necessary items one by one into each point of the star. But considering the circumstances, he thinks he’s done alright for himself. More importantly, for Shiro.

The cascade of events that lead to this moment—Nie Mingjue in a mesh crop top and billowing pants and a snake shaped chain that connects the neck bit to his trousers, good god—started, like all chaotic things in Mingjue’s life do, with Huaisang. With Huaisang’s new boyfriend, to be precise. And Huaisang’s boyfriend’s brother’s boyfriend’s brother. Who just happened to be Mingjue’s high school almost-sweetheart. - in which Huaisang has an art show, Xichen wears a suit, and there are. Shenanigans.

"You're sure this is okay?" Yibo mumbles now, curling his knees beneath his chin on the toilet seat. "You don't have to check in with me every time," Xiao Zhan says, sounding warm over the fuzzy connection. His face is clear and his eyes are bright. Yibo feels himself relaxing. "Just tell me all about it later, yeah?"

“I still - I don't-” Shiro feels like his brain is broken. “I still don't get why this is necessary.” “All aspects of physical stamina are tested during the trials,” Kolivan replies, standing next to him as both of them watch the screen. “Awakening the blade is only the first step. Your friend is an omega, and all omegas currently serving with the Blades have lasted an hour or more on this device. It is protocol.”

Lan Wangji is going to die. Lan Wangji is going to die, and it isn’t even a hyperbole; she is entirely ready to collapse in her seat like a marionette with its strings cut off. The vibrator inside her pulses, and Lan Wangji can barely stop herself from lurching forward and letting out a loud groan. She resists a glance at the row of seats behind her; she knows that Wei Ying is there, watching, and she isn’t entirely sure she isn’t going to come at the sight of Wei Ying’s lazy little smirk. Truly—the things Wei Ying has made her do—shameless. (or; Lan Wangji wears a vibrator to class at the behest of her fuckbuddy Wei Ying, and it ends up a lot hotter and more emotional for both of them.)

The ancient people of the Zeffo contact the Jedi in a cry for help,they need force users who can connect to the living force,who can save something dear to them. But the price of life is itself something dear,and one Obi-Wan is not sure they can pay.

To draw out a likely blackmailer, Sui Zhou and Tang Fan have to manufacture some blackmail material.

If he hadn't seen a vibrating butt plug on top of the stack of "absolutely mission critical clothes" Wang Zhi had left for him, Sui Zhou would have dismissed the faint buzzing as a phone vibrating, and Tang Fan's look of shock as a surprising bite of food. It's not. He is definitely wearing a vibrating butt plug and it definitely just turned on. Sui Zhou is not sure what to do with this information.

“Really? Right now?” Wei Ying whispered, and Lan Zhan could only nod, a reckless pulse throbbing in his veins.

Song Lan likes Xue Yang, obviously. Song Lan likes folding laundry too. Xue Yang is not sure where he ranks in Song Lan’s likes, along the scale from folding laundry to Xiao Xingchen.

After a dangerous fight, Tamaki needs a... special kind of stress relief. Kirishima is more than happy to help his Senpai out, even when he has an unusual request.

“There’s still time to back out, you know,” Wei Ying says, quiet enough that even the attendants waiting at the corners of their table won’t hear. Lan Wangji pauses in the middle of reaching for the sash on Wei Ying’s—on his husband’s—outer robes. A pit opens in his stomach. His hand falls to his lap, and he lifts his eyes to meet Wei Ying’s. “Is that what you want?” --- The components of the marriage ceremony are easy in theory. The handfasting, the bows, the feast... and the Taking.

“Don’t worry A-Cheng, this is the kind of party that expects everyone to be using fake names. It would be horribly against the rules for anyone to acknowledge who you actually are, even if they do recognise either of you. Trust me, there will be far more interesting things going on than watching Chifeng-zun and Sandu Shengshou tonight. All you have to do is play it cool, make it seem like you’re there for the same reasons as everyone else, and nobody will meet your eyes. Piece of cake!” Huaisang sounds positively chipper, which means Jiang Cheng is almost certainly going to have the worst night of his life tonight. Or: Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue steal a sex party

When Loki and Thor are caught attempting to steal from a Temple they discover that the hushed stories about the the cruelty and perversion of its punishments are all true. But when Loki is involved, things are never quite as they seem.

The Ghost Valley and Prince Jin's forces have been at war for a while now; but there was nothing to suggest the Valley was so close to infiltrating the palace. Nothing, until they were flooding the grounds and taking captives. Nothing, until the Ghost Valley Guzhu himself laid eyes on Zhou Zishu and deemed him a worthy prize. *Don't be a sore loser, Wangye. To the victor go the spoils.*

It was Sid’s dirty little sneaky plug, buzzing merrily away inside his asshole, and they could hear it.

It looks like a seizure, Stiles falling down and twitching and writhing on the floor. His limbs are shaking, his body trembling, but afterwards Stiles always tells him it isn't a seizure. Derek isn't so sure. If it's not a seizure, what could it be?

Sid growls. He can’t help it. It’s wrong. Malkin is whimpering and crying and struggling against his restraints. His scent is all fear and chemicals and something deeper, something dark and oppressing. Sid thinks it’s anger but it’s too bitter to try and get a proper read on.

He knew this would happen, one day. He didn’t think Dylan would touch his dick for the first time on the bus, but.

It’s a game. It’s a game to see how loud he can be and not have anyone but Nicky hear him, a game to see what he can do without anyone but Nicky noticing.

Taylor loves it, everyone watching while he fucks himself on Adam’s dick and Adam’s hands are tight on his hips while he tells Taylor how good he looks, how everyone wants to be where Adam is. He loved it back in juniors and it’s even better now.

Sometimes he wakes up sucking on his fingers, rutting his hips into the bed. He’ll be right on the edge of coming, the wet head of his dick trapped between his hips and the sheets, but he can’t, he can’t, not without – not without something pushed up inside, something stretching him open.

The Flyers always have a way of making Kris lose control. Kris has been Sid's sub for years now, and he's seen it happen time and again. A night like tonight calls for some creativity in punishment.

Navin is marrying Jaya today, and he’s overjoyed beyond belief, he truly is. Only, in his parts of the world, a marriage is a public affair. Very, very public. Goddess, help him.

After scoring his first game winner, Tyler takes care of all the Bruins, and by take care we mean blow jobs. Afterwards, Marchy takes care of him and his poor come-swollen belly.

since @doesntmaatta mentioned this to me: ‘Honestly I’m thinking about PK grinning at him at some team gathering and telling him, “I’ll give you a $100 if I can fuck your mouth,” and Gally grins, shrugging, “You’re on.” That’s when PK adds, “Right now, here.”’ and i am so easy for anything that shows gally b as a money-grubbing git who’ll do anything for more money– tagging for exhibitionism, ridiculous sex for money

When they drain the rink at the end of the season, he tells someone he's folding to superstition and he pays them for several buckets of the water and buys a few of those ice filled pucks they sell at the store. He purchases some Kraken shaped water bottles and fills them with his water. He's not sure why he's going this far, this fucked up, but he also doesn’t really care. He played well and the team actually did okay for their first season while trying to get their legs under them as a unit.