Teen Wolf/SGA team-fic, with Lydia being awesome. “This is a terrible idea,” Stiles tells the room again. “You’ll all be sorry when Derek pushes me off a cliff.”

Caught in the act of digging through the hall closet, presumably in his quest to find Zabuza, Gai spins, already beaming. “Yosh! Are you prepared for our day of challenges and manly combat?” For a long moment Zabuza stares at him. Then, carefully, he takes a deep breath and growls, “No. I have my own plans. I bought a massive dildo and I'm going to go stuff it up my ass until my arm gets tired. So unless you want to help me get off, you should fuck off.”

Lance and Keith had no idea what they were in for when Hunk joined them for an early-morning workout... AKA: Keith and Lance realize that they are both very gay, and that Hunk is very Hot

Shane had never thought too hard about taunting ghosts and demons. But it only takes one badly placed joke to invite in something that is better off left alone. His and Ryan’s comfortable friendship is going to be tested to its limits when a demon unleashes a storm of uncertainties into both of their lives. One thing’s for certain: Once the storm passes, his and Ryan’s relationship will never be the same again.

So, rather than telling Ryan about his rollercoaster of feelings, he decided to do the next best thing any normal, sane person in love would do: Shane Madej decided to handcuff himself to Ryan Bergara.

All of this, Kakashi would like it noted, is because he has terrible friends.

Ryan goes on a series of dates with Shane. Friend-dates. For a video, of course. Nothing else. "Oh god, they're definitely in love."

“Who is Team 7’s new sensei?” Iruka demands in horror, voice breaking about two octaves higher than is probably appropriate for a man his age. Tsunade doesn’t even look up from her paperwork. “The Uchiha brat,” she says. And then, after a beat, “Wait, no, that’s Shisui. The other Uchiha brat. The one who dragged me back to this damn village to begin with.”

Magnus sends him fire messages every day.

After the events with Deucalion and Jennifer Blake, Derek goes on a search for his biological family. He, Stiles, and Cora head to New York City to try to find the family he doesn’t remember. It turns out that there was a lot to his adoption that he never knew.

“I just want to go home,” he tells Nagato, and hates that he sounds so very much like the crybaby child Kakashi always calls him. Nagato's expression twists, grief and sympathy all wrapped up and tangled together. He catches Obito's bandaged face in his hands, leans in to touch their foreheads together, and it’s closer to anyone than Obito has been in years. “I know,” Nagato says, hoarse. “I know, Obito. But we can save everyone we love, we can save the world. All it takes is our sacrifice. And someday, when we’ve put everything to rights, we can go back. We can live in a good world with everyone we care for, and know that we’ll never lose them to war. Isn't that worth it?”

Prompto's never really alone anymore, and mostly, he's just fine with that. Mostly, it's exactly what he's always wanted. Only, his friends happen to be stupidly attractive. Like really, ridiculously, unfairly attractive. Strangers on the street actively stare at Gladio without a shirt on. Ignis wears sock garters, smooths them up his slender calves every morning like it's no big deal. Noct somehow doesn't realize that when he wades into the water to pull a fish out, white t-shirt on, the cloth plasters right up against his skin, almost see-through. So yeah. Prompto likes that he's never really alone anymore. But he's also never really alone anymore, and the approximately hundred thousand awkward boners he gets every single day languish in his jeans, untended.

Yuuri, under the username of Eros, is a size queen omega who most certainly does not have an obsession with fellow camboy and legendary silver-haired alpha Aria. Just like Phichit is not the most meddlesome roommate known to man.

"It wasn’t that he was crushing on Pat Gill, not really. Brian was comfortable having a close friendship which involved physical affection, and even jokes regarding it. He was just...he smelled nice, even when he was sweaty. He had really nice and soft hair. The way he gripped his leg and lifted him so easily was nice. The way the crotch of his jeans felt against his—" After the Shadow of the Colossus Gill and Gilbert, Pat and Brian find themselves dealing with the fact that there are consequences to being in on-and-off intimate positions with your coworker for over an hour, and those consequences tend to manifest themselves quite noticeably in your pants.

The assassin is flirting with him. Alistair is not impressed. No, really, he's not!

Written for the prompt: Zevran gets a bad tangle in his hair and Alistair helps him get it out.

He coughs with his teeth clenched shut, blood seeping out but petals held in. Well, he thinks, at least this way he dies on his own terms.

Arya likes the way things are with her soulmate—playing softball in dreams, talking about nothing and everything. But it still feels like cheating when she dreams of Gendry.

in which soulmates aren't an exact science.

It’s always been something of a point of pride, for Ponds, that he never really has to worry about his general.

"By the Heavens, did you hear? The Yiling Patriarch has been invited to the Discussion Conference in Qinghe!" Gossip was, by far, the fastest way for information to spread. "What! Whose idea was that!?" It was not the most accurate or most reliable method, but people were people, and the tedium of daily life would always bore them. "I heard it was the Nie Sect leader's suggestion." ---------- After thirteen years in the Burial Mounds, the Yiling Patriarch finally makes a public reappearance. Civilians are scared. Cultivators are outraged. Sect Leaders are concerned. Wei Wuxian has been too quiet, they say, and nobody knows what dark horrors the Burial Mounds may now contain. Wei Wuxian wouldn't quite call them dark horrors, but the description wasn't too far off. (tl;dr Wei Wuxian lives, raises a whole gaggle of demonic cultivator children, and the cultivation world panics.)

It happens a few more times, always with just the thinnest veneer of bro-y joking, until Xiao Zhan figures this is just a thing they do sometimes. Casual sexting among friends must just be something Yibo needs, and Xiao Zhan is selfishly glad he gets to provide it for him. He doesn't think about who else Yibo might have figured out as well as he's figured out Xiao Zhan, who else might get to do this with Yibo.

In an effort to become the 'beauty' that is part of Jiang Cheng's type, Nie Huaisang decides to give putting on makeup a whirl. It's purely an accident he becomes youtube and instagram famous in the process. And Jiang Cheng remains oblivious.

Geralt is not making a nest. Jaskier has noticed this. Geralt is in fact drinking a rather foul-smelling potion that sours the sweetness of his scent and muffles its otherwise obvious meaning. “Does that stop heat?” Jaskier asks curiously, absentmindedly tuning his lute as he speaks. He hadn’t thought anything could, but, well . . . witchers and their potions. “No,” Geralt says darkly.

Thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian brought scandal and shame down upon his head and was thrown out of the competitive ballroom dance circuit. He vanished, never to be heard from again. Lan Wangji aches when he remembers the way Wei Ying danced--like a laugh given movement and form. He has never stopped searching for him.

In life and in death, Xichen’s love will never leave him. (or: nie mingjue's fierce corpse is granted sentience, and sets out to fix things.)

When his brother had sent him the appointment confirmation, Lan Wangji had assumed it had been for Lan Xichen’s oft-praised and highly recommended acupuncturist. It is not, he soon found out—standing inside the lobby of a studio lit by soft, warm light and faced with a beautiful man in well-worn, rumpled clothing and with a lopsided bun on top of his head, wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket and wearing no shoes at all—an acupuncturist. “Cuddle therapy,” Lan Wangji says, his voice drawn carefully flat over the overwhelming panic welling up inside his belly. He had not thought his brother so cruel. This must be some sort of horrible mistake. ----- In which Wei Wuxian cuddles people for money, Lan Xichen takes matters into his own hands, and Lan Wangji is doomed.

Wang Yibo's message reads: who do you think like initiates the first time

"This is not what they wanted, and it’s almost enough that they both know that. Yanli knows that it’s not fair, because she has come out with the better half of the bargain--she gets to stay at Lotus Pier with her brothers, her people, her home. Jin Guangyao has been married off, outside of his Clan, practically abandoned to the plain faced sister of a Sect Leader; the second choice after his older brother’s engagement to her fell through with devastating finality. But Jin Guangyao has been patient in all of their meetings, his manner pleasant, his smile gentle." -- Jin Guangshan gets Jin Guangyao out of JinLinTai almost as soon as he is recognized as his son, marrying him into the Jiang Clan. Jiang Yanli gets a husband, though it's not the one she expected. Jin Guangyao gets a family, though it's not the one he worked for. But maybe that's alright.

Who do you bloom for, in your lungs?

Xiao Zhan has a side hustle he doesn’t want anyone to know about it. He’s building up a big stream following as a femboy, and his stream chat community is pushing to see someone touching him and giving him a good time. Wang Yibo is the only friend who knows—he helped him set up his stream—and the last person Xiao Zhan would consider asking to join him for the kinds of sex acts his stream wants to see. Yibo has a lot of opinions about that.

Lan Zhan had never expected to marry. So of course, fate would have it that he was wed to Wei Ying's beloved shidi, just as they had become close, somewhere between friends and companions. aka Canon Divergent AU where coreless!JC marries LWJ, complicated feelings ensue. Eventual zhanchengxian.

Rule 63 Modern AU, feat. Chinese Literature professor Lan Zhan and her lingerie model girlfriend, Wei Ying. i. How Lan Zhan's big lesbian university crush convinced her to stop worrying and love her body. ii. How Wei Ying's girlfriend got her to stop worrying and come on home. iii. How Wei Ying and Lan Zhan's relationship is put to the test, and what happens after.

Two things happen simultaneously when their hands touch: first, the migraine that Xiao Zhan's been fighting all day dissipates so immediately that a loud gasp slips out of his mouth. Second, a torrential outpouring of warmth shoots up Xiao Zhan's arm so quickly that he almost loses his balance and falls off the bench. The next moment, Xiao Zhan drops Yibo's hand. He tries to convert the abrupt movement into something more graceful, but he doesn't think he succeeds. Yibo's eyes have gone wide. His neck bobs as he swallows. What the hell, Xiao Zhan thinks faintly, astonishment thick in his throat. He just manages to keep himself from passing out as the migraine lances through his head again with a vengeance.

Following the war, Wen Qing had had something of a revelation. Namely, that the vast majority of problems in her life were due to the fact that she was surrounded by a bunch of idiots. (a getting-together story)

Saving people, hunting things: the family business. Modern AU: the Nies are hit by a demon's death curse, which is NOT fuck or die - it's fuck AND die, a kind of reverse cultivation curse that's usually directed against cultivation partners, destroying their golden cores little by little every time they fuck. NOT a clever curse to use against brothers! ...except that the curse comes with a chaser: its targets share blisteringly horny sex dreams every night, as a way of encouraging them to go ahead and give in to the whole fuck-and-die schtick. Awkward. So it makes sense to search for a cure to the curse, right? Especially since the cure might actually help stabilise Mingjue's golden core. Obviously they have no intention of actually boning once they've got rid of the whole fuck-and-die curse... (...for the life of me I can't remember who suggested a Fuck AND Die trope on Twitter many weeks ago - evidently it has been living rent free in the back of my head ever since, though, and so here we have some Niecest.)

It doesn’t come up often, and Wen Qing didn’t plan it this way, but she has slept with all of the Yunmeng siblings (separately) and she’s not even a little bit sorry about it, it was all good.

Tang Fan writes a new romance novel that reaches new heights of obvious pining, Wang Zhi takes matters into his own hands, a guest comes to stay, and Sui Zhou continues to be a irresponsible combination of jealous and oblivious. (This takes place somewhere nebulously in the middle of the series, but really it could happen at any point, no spoilers)

In which there’s a jewellery thief on the loose, Tang Fan plays dress up, gets a mild concussion and also a boyfriend.

He’s inhaling his banmian in the small area where a few tables have been arranged for the crew when he remembers that he heard his phone ding earlier. He drags it out of his bag and thumbs his WeChat open, then promptly chokes on his noodles. Wang Yizhou sends Ji Li a shirtless, ambiguously horny selfie. Ji Li retaliates.

“He’s so beautiful,” Lan Zhan says, tongue loosened by the weed. Besides, Mianmian’s room is his safe space. He can say what he likes here, so he does. “I want to know what his mouth tastes like. I want him to put his mouth on my—” “No, no, no, no,” Jin Zixuan says, making an X with his arms. “For the love of Christ, keep it PG-13, please.” — In which Lan Zhan gets high, slides into Wei Ying's DMs, and somehow ends up having the harmonica played to him at 2am in the morning.

“I'm not going to stay with the ship,” Anakin says, outraged. Savage closes his eyes, not quite praying for patience, but—reaching for it, certainly. Having a padawan has been good for his self-control in ways Savage hasn’t even wanted to consider too closely.

When he rejoins the Order in the middle of the Clone Wars, all Ferus wants is to help as many people as possible. An emergency mission lands him in control of the 501st before he even has time to catch his balance, though, and the disappearance of the Chancellor means there's no time to waste. The galaxy's Deep Core is a treacherous maze of deadly planets and old traps, and fighting their way through is the sort of thing that would push Ferus to his limits, even without a squad of clones to protect at the same time.

With a sound of quiet sympathy, Kit reaches out, tapping his knuckles lightly against Rex's pauldron. “Forgive me, Captain, but I believe you would be far more comfortable without your armor. The beach cannot be a pleasant place for you right now.” Rex pauses, almost startled by the idea of taking his armor off. He’s on a mission, or at least the disastrous tail end of one, and unless he’s on leave, he almost never strips down to his blacks. And it’s been…months, since his last stretch of leave that wasn’t cut off before it even started. “Oh,” he says dumbly, and then flushes, reaching for the clasps on his armor. “Right, sorry, sir.”

When Mace joins the 212th on a dangerous world, it's meant to help them end the campaign there more quickly. But his presence there sets into motion something that started a thousand years ago, and won't be stopped so easily.

Nina looks at him like he’s an idiot. “Just keep the gloves on, then.” “What?” Kaz blurts. Or: Kaz Brekker conquers intimacy. It's both easier and harder than he planned.

Along with pining pathetically until he dies, Shang Qinghua's expectations for this post-canon world of Cucumber-bro's making are simple. They include managing the Ice Palace, eating, and maybe penning a few (less shitty) novels in his limited spare time. Retirement, boring and not fraught in the slightest. It's the least this old man deserves. The System, of course, has other ideas. 【Request received! More side quests will be made available to the Host. Please keep working hard!! ヽ(>∀

sea_salt_waves said: I've been having all these feelings lately about a human Geno falling for sexually-repressed incubus!Sid who pays sex workers to jerk off for him and has never been in a relationship before, with all kinds of insecurities and pining… ... I didn't stick to the prompt perfectly, but it was definitely my inspiration. I hope you enjoy!

“Sid, I’m so—I’m sorry,” Geno said. “My stupid—I’m ruin everything, I—” “Shut up, Geno,” Sidney said, already intensely weary of listening to Geno’s self-recrimination. “You’ve barely even done anything.” Geno’s voice dropped what sounded like an entire octave. “But I want to.”

Zhenya nudges Gonch with his elbow. "Who is that?" he says in urgent Russian, jabbing his glove at the now retreating zamboni. "Who?" Gonch follows the line of Zhenya's gaze, blinks when it lands on the zamboni. "What, the driver? Him?" Zhenya nods vigorously, his eyes fixed on the zamboni. Gonch stares at him for a few seconds before answering with hesitation, "That's...Sidney."