CRAAAAAACK! Potential Valdemar AUs

Now I’m imagining Steve offering to sleep with Tony so Iron Man doesn’t have to do it anymore.

So, I wrote some Tyler Seguin/Jamie Benn porn based on this amazing post by [personal profile] sinsense about the universe she and others had created where promising rookies in the NHL were assigned an older player to ~kneel~ for as a training measure. GO READ THAT POST it is amazing if you're into that sort of thing.

Semi-related to my feelings about the combine: I snicker every time sports writers talk about a team "topping" or "edging" or "knotting" another team (because I am twelve), but it's those stories about how you can "ruin" a young player that make me think dirty things. Like, obviously letting your whole team gangbang your rookie will ruin him. So you have to pair each rookie up with an older, more experienced player as a mentor (Kaner with Sharpy, AGally with Prust, etc). Because, especially for the highly ranked rookies, it’s a lot of pressure, they can get wound too tight, so they need to be put on their knees regularly by someone they trust. The Bruins didn’t do that for Segs, they let anyone fuck him, and look what happened. The Stars put him with Jamie over the summer and it settles him right down.

Han Solo: Worst Omega Ever meeting Han Solo: Worst ALPHA Ever, of course, obviously that would have to happen. OBVIOUSLY. both Leias are doomed. and also inappropriately turned on. and also DOOMED. so I guess this is a Star Wars post now whoops.

Me and my husband, watching a martial arts film] Me: See, now this is how the Jedi should have recruited their Padawans: you find some dude and then challenge him to a fight, and if he kicks your ass you then have to beg him to teach you.