John introduces his best human friend to his best troll friend. Maybe the three of them sit down to watch romcoms, maybe they're just hanging around a lab in the veil, but whatever the circumstance, Dave has trouble paying attention to the conversation at hand. Karkat is good looking and distracting and it's just not fair. Naturally, he begins distracting Karkat while John's talking. Little touches, lip licks, etc. Karkat gets flustered, Dave is thrilled, John is oblivious. It turns into a competition to see who can flirt the most without alerting John to their UST-fueled game.

He's not sure why people think him above desire. Cullen's a man and as weak to it as any other man in the world. He's just much worse at expressing it than others.

Josephine is not a flirt, really.

Through various means, Iron Bull and Dorian become the fathers of two baby girls. Dorian struggles with how to knit his family with his House, with the Magisterium, and how to give his girls the life they deserve. Bull learns to be more than just a caretaker. And this is all before the war.

Dorian Pavus is a successful, single, and frankly frustrated author of Young Adult fiction. His work largely concerns the experiences of gay and queer teens, and he always, always gives them hopeful endings, despite his own life not delivering on that part. When he's invited to host a writer's workshop at a shelter for young people, he meets its caretaker, Iron Bull. Iron Bull admires his work, and then some. Dorian isn't quite sure how, but this becomes a Thing.

Josephine smiles, and Cassandra smiles back with a reflexive happiness that sends warmth spiraling up from Josephine's belly to her heart. The thing it has taken her a long time to learn about Cassandra is that quite often her impatience and sarcasm are a thin layer, fragile as the skin of ice over a lake--and the emotions they conceal are as drowningly deep as that lake.

"Flatterer." But there was a curl of enjoyment in Josie's voice, so Leliana persisted.

Part of being your matesprit is learning how to swim. You don't know how Karkat got this far without being able to, but before the end of the night, he's going to learn if it krills you.

From a prompt on the kmeme: It seems to this OP that Isabela's gender often becomes an overwhelming aspect of her character. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it got OP to wondering about how Isabela would be both different and the same if she were a man. How would her companions and the world around her respond? Could be an AU in which Isabela was always a man or a magical accident that turns her into a man. Sweet, serious or utterly cracktastic fine by OP. Any, many or no LI just dandy. Artfill or fic would be excellent.

They managed to win the game somehow. He's not really sure of the details, but it's not all it's cracked up to be. He's stuck in an unfamiliar body with a thirteen year old little brother who's terrified of him. Somehow, he is sure this is his fault.

When Viktor had asked for something 'hot', Yuuri's reply wasn't exactly what he'd expected...

Sara Crispino, thirstiest virgin in Barcelona, decides to get rejected by pretty much half the skating world. Mila Babicheva, nursing the world's worst Straight Girl Crush in recent history, is just along for the ride.

In which Yamamoto is a flirt and Gokudera reminds him of just what that gets him.

Some things, no matter how effective, are not to be used as negotiating tactics.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

“You sure you want to do this?” Tōka asks, doesn’t let her gaze waver from the mercenary with a gun to her cousin’s head. Her own are completely steady, and she doesn’t miss a step as she turns, following the woman’s retreat deeper into the cave. “Sorry, Tōka,” Mito says, and the tone is light but there's a look in her eyes that Tōka is fairly sure is rueful. “I'm too pretty to stay in prison for the rest of my life."

Sakumo loses a bet and has to cover the fashion beat for a week. It's not nearly the trial he expected it to be.

“I think,” Shisui declares, and kind of distantly hopes he isn’t about to die a messy death, “that this calls for a kidnapping.” There's a moment of absolute silence. “What,” Utakata demands.

Edward, Tobirama, some accidental dimension travel, and questions of methodology. Plus snark.

“Fuck, you too?” is the first thing Zabuza says to him after a solid five years apart.

As Haku sends them roaring away from the dock, Asuma's powder ignites, sweeping a cloud of fire across the side of the prison. It clings like napalm, settles on the stone and starts eating through it, and Asuma slouches back into his seat next to Zabuza with a satisfied smile. “Pretty good for a night’s work,” is his verdict. Ino laughs, leaning forward as her long hair whips out behind her. “Asuma-sensei, did you find a partner?” she asks delightedly. “In prison?” Shikamaru mutters judgmentally.

“He’s hot, isn't he?” Izuna asks, stealing one of Tobirama’s pens. Entirely distracted by his thoughts, Tobirama grunts in agreement, then realizes exactly what he was confirming and snaps his head up to glare at Izuna. Izuna just laughs in his face, and Tobirama groans and presses a hand over his eyes.

Zabuza fishes a dying Konoha nin out of the Nakano. That one action is the falling stone that kicks off an avalanche.

Shikamaru squints at him out of one eye. “Omoi,” he says, exasperated. “I'm going to be the first Avatar to ever throw the world out of balance,” Omoi says. “I'm going to cause—” “—me to go prematurely bald,” Shikamaru interrupts, and reaches up to grab his wrist, dragging him down onto the blanket next to him.

Kakashi has a lot of work ahead of him if he wants Tsuna to survive, but at least the company is agreeable. And cute.

Raphael likes to lowkey compliment Simon, the only problem is that Simon highkey has no freaking clue what he's saying.

“Okay,” Simon says, shoving a shirt back into the overly ornate closet that takes up half his room, “this isn’t a nineties movie. There’s not going to be a shopping montage to indie rock chick music, and even though tiny backpacks are probably cool again, please don’t ever buy one.” Raphael looks at him like he’s a moron. “Do you even understand half the stuff that comes out of your mouth?”

“Who the hell are you supposed to be, un?” Deidara demands, bristling. “The villain from a shitty Princess Gale movie?”

He fires a Dying Will Shot at the child he's been sent here to tutor by the Vongola Ninth. What he expects is for Tsunayoshi Sawada to burst into Sky Flames; he’s from Primo’s Line, after all, for all that he’s timid and Sealed. And he does, but rather than the brilliant orange ethereal Flames he was expecting they're darker and denser.

Sirius Black grabs his godson and flees to Italy after Godric's Hollow. Landing in the middle of organized crime, curses, and malevolent ghosts was most definitely not part of the plan, but there might be a few perks.

Zabuza's got a thing for vicious, especially when it comes wrapped up in a cute package.

There was a women lying unconscious in the alley behind the café. Nana blinked down at her bemusedly, both hands wrapped tight around the neck of a heavy trash bag. When she didn’t make any sounds or move, Nana shrugged, and made her way over to the trash bin, hauling the bag up and over into it. She was still in the same spot, sitting up against a wall, by the time Nana made it back to her, so Nana crouched down, and poked her in the cheek, peering down into her pretty face curiously. Later, she admitted to herself, wouldn’t it be more of an adventure if she didn’t tell anyone, and just helped the woman out on her own? Yes, yes it would. So she grinned, and crouched down in front of the woman and carefully lifted her onto her back. --- Nana was used to living life on her own, and on her own terms. Completely alone save for the few strays she took in when she got bored. Lal Mirch was something unexpected, though, and blew her otherwise normal life to smithereens. Namimori and Sawada Iemitsu weren't much better. What was a quiet Mist user minding her own business to do? Have fun with it and run wild, of course.

“I want it known that I'm only allowing this under protest,” Kakashi says dryly. Zabuza rolls his eyes, leaning back against a tree and watching the trio on the bridge with amusement. “Yeah, you’ve said that. I don’t think the Hokage was impressed, either.”

She’s barely days away from finally challenging Yagura for his seat, so of course Zabuza chooses now to make himself a problem.

Brian’s laughing as they drag each other up the stairs of Pat’s apartment, their hips bumping with every step. “Am I making you the worst neighbor in the world?” Brian whispers loudly, while Pat tries his best to get his key in the lock. Brian’s leaning against the wall, wiping at his eyes. “We can make it worse,” Pat says, and he can feel himself grinning. “We can make it so much worse.”

That’s a nice face, Genma thinks. A hell of a nice face. And the biceps that are as big around as Genma's head are nothing to sneeze at, either. “Genma,” Aoba starts, a warning in his voice, but in the same moment the bigger Swordsman laughs again, leaning down, and instantly three of the genin swarm him. He boosts them up, then rises easily, like the weight of three genin is nothing at all, and Genma watches them laugh and cling to his shoulders, his arms, and licks his lips. “Genma,” Aoba says, and that’s his judgey and horrified tone.

Kakashi’s senses keep going haywire, and Genma is pretty sure he’s the only one who notices.

The assassin is flirting with him. Alistair is not impressed. No, really, he's not!

Jason wrestles the crazy, half-feral ninja to the ground ten blocks from the building he blew up with magic, which means it’s probably a Thursday in Gotham.

Tang Fan chats up a drunk patron to get some evidence.

“Soon, padawan,” Qui-Gon says, and Obi-Wan doesn’t appreciate the amusement in his voice at all, but his disgruntled look doesn’t win him anything except a raised brow and the calmly bemused glance that always makes Master Windu eye Qui-Gon’s hair like he’s about to pull on it.

“Are you really sure this is necessary?” Jon asks, faintly hunted.

“This,” Xanatos says with perfect conviction, “is going to be an absolute disaster, I can't believe you agreed to this.”

With a sound of quiet sympathy, Kit reaches out, tapping his knuckles lightly against Rex's pauldron. “Forgive me, Captain, but I believe you would be far more comfortable without your armor. The beach cannot be a pleasant place for you right now.” Rex pauses, almost startled by the idea of taking his armor off. He’s on a mission, or at least the disastrous tail end of one, and unless he’s on leave, he almost never strips down to his blacks. And it’s been…months, since his last stretch of leave that wasn’t cut off before it even started. “Oh,” he says dumbly, and then flushes, reaching for the clasps on his armor. “Right, sorry, sir.”

Agen digs his fingers into the silver-veined bark, smiling a little. Pushes upright, flicking his hair back behind his shoulder, and pulls his outer robe off, draping it over a branch. “A trooper in distress,” he says, stepping forward. “I believe Jedi are supposed to rectify such things.” Two pairs of dark eyes snap to him, and Fives's widen with glee. He wriggles harder under Echo's pinning weight, like a landed fish, and cries, “General Kolar, help! I'm being overrun!”

“Well,” Kit says lightly. “This does seem to be a predicament, doesn’t it?” Pressed right up against him, gauntlets digging bruises into his almost-bare hips, Dogma squeezes his eyes tightly shut. “I'm going to kill my whole squad,” he says, perfectly certain and resigned to it.

Kaz recruits Wylan to help infiltrate the Ice Court. Wylan is under the impression that Jesper is flirting with him—until Jesper brings up his lost true love.

“Queen Miraj is going to betray you,” Feral says, and Cody practically jumps out of his own skin.

Maul is going to make himself a widower in short order.

Sid's hair is a thing. It's her thing, and she's always a girl even when she's a hockey player.