Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has joined memo CALLING ALL JACKASSES -- CG: THANK LITTLE JEGUS AND ALL HIS WIGGLER-EATING ELVES. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING STATUS. CA: oh great and wwhich human evven is that again TT: Oh, please. We both know perfectly how well you remember me, Mr. Ampora. TT: My status is, if you will permit the bad joke, wet and horny. CG: MY GANDERBULBS JUST IMPLODED FROM GROSS BY PROXY. WHAT THE CROTCHBLISTERING *FUCK*, LALONDE? TT: As in, I have just emerged from what is either a recuperacoon or a fairly good mock-up, and there are protrusions attached to my skull that I am inclined to believe would be candy-corn-colored. CG: ... OH. YEAH, VERY AMUSING. I AM VERY AMUSED. HERE IS A PICTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF MY MIRTH. |:B

Stiles’ first memory of his mom is green. Her green eyes, her green dresses, her green scarves, her green blouses and her green barrettes.

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn't expect and aren't sure they approve of....

Flashes of an unknown past haunt Naruto, entwining his steps with those of a former life no longer content to stay forgotten. There's a voice on the wind and another lifetime in his head, and it’s time for Uzushio’s Storm God to rise once more. (The soul of a city is a hard thing to kill. Uzushio is still aware, still waiting. And now, with the rebirth of her greatest Kage, it’s time to call her people home.)

For the sake of his pride, Jiraiya's going to imagine that his double went out in the bed of some voracious and lusty twins—no, make that triplets, with everyone wildly satisfied and a smile on his face. The whole alternate universe thing is easier to swallow that way.

After the loss of his wife and his predecessor, Minato throws himself into his work, leaving his son almost entirely alone. Naruto grows up shunned but never outright reviled, aware of his burden and achingly lonely. But it’s not his way to give up, and someday, with the help of Kakashi, Obito, and a few faithful friends, he’s going to show his father just what kind of shinobi he can be.

Genma is a very good assassin. He takes a job, takes a life, comes home, repeats. Then one day a stray genin shows up on his doorstep. And then another. Lonely assassin? Not so much. Try resident shinobi den mother. [In which Genma is a (very manly) mother hen, his apartment attracts strays, and all of his (bastard) friends are quite amused.]

The longest is the journey home. Dorian's continuing sojourn in Skyhold is interrupted by the arrival of an unexpected letter. It sets him on an uncertain course to face matters of his past, present and future.

Orochimaru is on the edge of breaking when someone unexpected pulls him back to solid ground. When the time comes, he returns the favor.

The first time Jensen meets Max, he's cuffed to a chair with a dislocated jaw. Things don't improve significantly from this point onwards.

Through various means, Iron Bull and Dorian become the fathers of two baby girls. Dorian struggles with how to knit his family with his House, with the Magisterium, and how to give his girls the life they deserve. Bull learns to be more than just a caretaker. And this is all before the war.

Stiles runs away from his old pack on a Monday. He meets his dad for the first time on a Sunday, and he falls in love on a Thursday.

Wherein, Having Beaten A Game, All Players Are Taken Back To The Same, Worst Available Universe, With Species Changes To Match For Those Who Did Not Match Beforehand. In short: You're all trolls now, welcome to Alternia.

“If you shower my couch with love and affection, I might actually kill you.” Or: how Tim Drake buys a house, rebuilds his life, and accidentally falls in love.

Beyond that door is a boy Sid has skated with six times, and spoken to twice. He’s a year older than Sid is, and drugged out of his mind on Bonding agent.

He had died- honorably, he'd like to think, despite living as a villain and an assassin for over half a century- and that, as far as Xanxus had ever figured, would be the end of that. No heaven. No hell. Just life when you were breathing and nothingness when you stopped. Except that it didn't, quite, turn out that way. Except he came back as the son of the kindest, sometimes saddest father in the world. In both worlds. A father that he knew, without a doubt, to be his flesh and blood. All at once, Xanxus had everything he'd wanted as a child. A home. A family. Stability. And he was going to fight like hell and beat down anyone who tried to take it from him, no matter what his age. (In which Sakumo raises a son who speaks multiple languages from birth, all of them gibberish to the poor single father jounin, spits vulgarity with the same ease as he does his praise and burns with an unshakable determination to build himself a family that will not fall, no matter who or what is thrown against it.)

Trisha and Van's first child, Edith, was born a beautiful, healthy girl. The only problem? Ed knew he was a boy.

Kakashi lives in the darkness, which is more than he deserves, but for Naruto he'll step into the light.

Midoriya Izuku, determined to become a hero before ever meeting All Might, looks for another way. He might not have a quirk, but that can’t be all that being a hero is about. He has the intelligence, the drive, the determination. All he needs now is to know how to use it. Enter Aizawa Shouta.

“Well,” Stiles says, “if they’re going to hunt werewolves, I’m going to hunt them.” It’s a ridiculous statement from a ten-year-old, but he’s obviously one hundred percent sincere. For the first time since the fire, Peter feels life stir inside him, feels purpose. It’s kismet, clearly. He’ll never meet the child he would have had with Olivia. Instead he’s met this boy, this brilliant, determined, cynical child with a world of potential. Peter kneels down in front of him so they’re at eye level. “How do you feel about doing that together?”

“Honey,” Wade calls over his shoulder without taking his eyes off their visitor. “Why is there a teenage mutant in our breakfast nook? Not that I’m not happy to see you,” he says to Negasonic, who raises her eyebrows owlishly. Vanessa comes out of the bedroom and hooks her chin over Wade’s shoulder. “Do you think she heard me getting my spanking?” he whispers. “Because that was *private* noise.” “I don’t know,” Vanessa says. “But she looks like she needs some coffee and pancakes, don’t you think?” Negasonic grins. It’s scary as fuck.

in which the Stark sisters don't completely understand each other, but are locked, loaded, and playing Littlefinger for all he's worth.

It was only supposed to be a game. A fun way to pass the time. Maybe even make friends. How was Tsuna supposed to know Jumanji had a mind of its own, or that 'survival game' was very literal?

in which I repost fics of various length that I posted on tumblr based on a specific modern 'verse that was discussed with one or more anons on my tumblr a while ago. Premise: Jon is still R+L but went to live with the Starks around five-ish after both his parents pretty much realized they bit off more than they could chew. Features extra Jon Connington being the responsible adult, Robb being a gift, the Tullys being fairly great people and so on. Specific ficlets: 1) jon connington comes clean with rhaegar about his feelings in a way he hadn't predicted; 2) jon c. finds out that rhaegar named his kid after him; 3) robb is *extremely* invested in making sure jon's first birthday party turns out great (ned/cat, robb & jon); 4) robb takes his brotherly duties with jon very seriously, good for everyone involved; 5) jon's first christmas with the starks *and* tullys; 6) how jon c. and brynden tully get together in this 'verse and realize they're actually perfect for each other; 7) jon (snow) and ygritte have their first child... who looks like rhaegar, GENETICS!.

Your conversation with your mom is less informative than your conversation with your sister. You text: > Hey so are you kicking me out of the house for Thanksgiving or what She responds: > Dont put it like that > But yes > Hv fun w/the gberts! Followed by a series of emoji: a turkey, a pie, a kiss, and a firework.

Tobirama loved Itama enough to go against the natural laws in an attempt to bring him back. For Itama, it’s time to return the favor.

This is an exploration of the Sense8 universe in 8 (of course!) installments. The stories focus on very different character constellations, vary a lot in tone and focus, and they don't necessarily all take place in the same verse/timeline. But they do focus on 8 sensations or feelings that seem to be at the core of this story about friendship and family.

The one where the Talia Hale is the sister of Morticia Addams and the Hales are a little kookier than they were in the show. Also, you know. Alive. This is Derek's story.

Clarus claims that he can handle raising an infant Gladio on his own. Regis is certain that he no longer feels the bruise of an empty house without Aulea. They're both wrong. A little story about Clarus and Regis finding love, raising kids, and dealing with the unexpected news that Noctis may be the chosen king of legend.

the stories of the August 8th cluster and their children in all forms.

"By the Heavens, did you hear? The Yiling Patriarch has been invited to the Discussion Conference in Qinghe!" Gossip was, by far, the fastest way for information to spread. "What! Whose idea was that!?" It was not the most accurate or most reliable method, but people were people, and the tedium of daily life would always bore them. "I heard it was the Nie Sect leader's suggestion." ---------- After thirteen years in the Burial Mounds, the Yiling Patriarch finally makes a public reappearance. Civilians are scared. Cultivators are outraged. Sect Leaders are concerned. Wei Wuxian has been too quiet, they say, and nobody knows what dark horrors the Burial Mounds may now contain. Wei Wuxian wouldn't quite call them dark horrors, but the description wasn't too far off. (tl;dr Wei Wuxian lives, raises a whole gaggle of demonic cultivator children, and the cultivation world panics.)

Lan Wangji had never had call to perform the spell of silent communication before he and Wei Wuxian joined together to fight Xuanwu. He figured it was temporary. Spoiler alert: it wasn't. Or: the AU in which Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian psychically bond in the cave, Wei Wuxian overhears Lan Wangji thinking about the fact that he actually likes him, and after several minutes of confusion, is fully on board with this.

Nyx wakes up on an alien world, the imprint of the Ring of the Lucii burned into his finger. It's still not the weirdest thing that's happened to him in the last twenty-four hours.

There’s the quiet knock of his assistant, Su She, at the door. He likes to hover anxiously outside the glass walls of his office as if Meng Yao can’t see him. This is usually followed by Meng Yao waving him in wordlessly, taking something or filing something or approving something whilst Su She wrings his hands. Today, Meng Yao has to balance the phone between his ear and shoulder as Su She passes him a baby. *** Yet another illegitimate Jin baby appears and Jin Guangshan takes no responsibility. Meng Yao has to do everything around here.

For Anna’s sixth birthday, they take her to the ballet. [Sidney Crosby becomes a dance dad. Geno is bemused.]

Sid's hair is a thing. It's her thing, and she's always a girl even when she's a hockey player.

“So you’re boyfriends?” Connor and Dylan exchange a glance, and then Dylan says, “That’s not quite the word I’d use.” (Or: 5 times Dylan and Connor technically told the truth about their relationship.)

In the middle of her grief over Alderaan's destruction, Leia manages to hurl herself, her father, and her twin brother back to the start of the Clone Wars. It's not an opportunity any of them are about to pass up.

Jaime Lannister drives her sword through Aerys's back to save a kingdom. When her father's armies sack the city and kill those she was sworn to protect, she flees King's Landing, unsure what to do. On her way to Dorne, she runs into Ned Stark who hands her a baby and a purpose, protect the Targaryen heir. A Jaime Lannister redemption story.

When Obi-Wan chose to fight for the Young, he left behind the only life he'd ever known, and the only dream he had ever wanted. On Melida/Daan, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Child of No Clan, finds purpose and finds family, and begins a journey which will change the shape of his life and the galaxy in ways he'll never fully understand. Or, the one where Obi-Wan is adopted by True Mandalorians off Melida/Daan. Featuring: teenage shenanigans, pet strill, Force teleportation, first love, and found family.

Later, he will say it was a calculated choice, that he looked at the odds and looked at the clones and decided that better the Jedi he didn't know than the Sith he did. This is, as it happens, a bare faced lie. (or: A Sith Lord realises, abruptly and rather late, that war means casualties, and decides that the great Jedi genocide plan can go fuck itself.)

In which the Robins aren’t so good at keeping their sexualities a secret, not that most of them would want to anyway. Or How each of the Robins accidentally came out and made a club to commiserate together.

Hawks takes baby steps backwards, getting closer and closer to the door, as everyone continues to get loud and look at eachother for answers. Well, almost everybody; Dabi is watching him limp away with an unimpressed expression. “Those are torture wounds,” Shigaraki points out, crossing his arms and leveling Hawks with a dead-eyed stare. “How do you even know what torture wounds look like?” Hawks throws back as he continues to plan his escape. Shigaraki looks at him with raised eyebrows until Hawks looks away again, feeling like an idiot. These people are villains, he knows that (but its so easy to forget-). “Right, fuck.” Hawks flicks him a two fingered salute before turning tail like the coward he feels like and making for the door. He doesn't get more than four feet before Dabi grabs him by one of his wings and yanks him back.

Hawks didn’t expect Tokoyami to get stabbed during a League of Villains attack. He didn’t expect Eraserhead to start investigating him. He didn’t expect to be caught in an alley making out with a known murderer. And, he definitely didn’t expect Aizawa to understand.

“Come with me,” Jango says. Blue-grey eyes narrow, head listing towards the side. “Why?” the teen asks wearily. “Because you’ll die here,” Jango states bluntly. You’ll die here, he thinks, and I’ll go off and die somewhere out there. “Ha,” the teen puffs a caustic laugh. “Okay.” “Okay,” he repeats.

"I fear that, when you reached into the Force to ease this man's pain, you reached too far. And without proper shielding… it’s easy to see how a rudimentary connection might have been established," the force-ghost of his former master says contemplatively, as if he is not casually ruining Luke's entire life. Luke buries his face in his hands. “You’re saying I gave too much.” “In a sense, yes," Ben replies. “I’m a force-whore,” Luke moans. “Oh, kark. Leia is going to kill me.”

It all comes down to this: the babies in his arms are just so little. “You should sit down, Sir. Let Waxer and I take the tubies for a minute,” Cody gentles. Despite the even, easy tone, despite knowing that it’s Cody and that, as the last twenty-four hours have successfully proved beyond a doubt, Cody would rather die than see any harm come to him, Obi-Wan can’t suppress his immediate reaction to the thought of putting the twins— his twins, his now, and he’ll die before he lets anything touch them—down. “Full disclosure, I don’t believe I am capable of letting go of them, at the moment.” He thinks for a beat and then adds, “Possibly ever.”

It wasn't solely Jango Fett's DNA that went into making Domino Squad. Palpatine had other plans for them. Thankfully, so does their second genetic donor, and he has just as few qualms about murder as a Sith Lord.

Failure had been the predominant constant in Shane's life for so long that he almost didn’t notice there had been something else steadily building its influence on him for years now. (Shane healing and coming to trust himself to become Jas's primary caregiver as her parents had wished, because it makes me feel sad things that Jas doesn't move into the farmhouse with Shane when he marries the player character.) :)