-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has joined memo CALLING ALL JACKASSES -- CG: THANK LITTLE JEGUS AND ALL HIS WIGGLER-EATING ELVES. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING STATUS. CA: oh great and wwhich human evven is that again TT: Oh, please. We both know perfectly how well you remember me, Mr. Ampora. TT: My status is, if you will permit the bad joke, wet and horny. CG: MY GANDERBULBS JUST IMPLODED FROM GROSS BY PROXY. WHAT THE CROTCHBLISTERING *FUCK*, LALONDE? TT: As in, I have just emerged from what is either a recuperacoon or a fairly good mock-up, and there are protrusions attached to my skull that I am inclined to believe would be candy-corn-colored. CG: ... OH. YEAH, VERY AMUSING. I AM VERY AMUSED. HERE IS A PICTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF MY MIRTH. |:B

Closet 'verse sequel (what it says on the tin)

Team Girls shall be victorious! Or, Rukia and Orihime decide to make Ichigo shared property.

Wherein, Having Beaten A Game, All Players Are Taken Back To The Same, Worst Available Universe, With Species Changes To Match For Those Who Did Not Match Beforehand. In short: You're all trolls now, welcome to Alternia.

Wherein Sevan, engineering student with no interest in mastering his ability for magic (that silliness won't get him any closer to his doctorate!) meets in a bar Mikhail, four hundred years old golem, and they proceed to frick -- and THEN they figure out Mikhail is liege-sworn to Sevan's ancestor and things get a bit awkward. Does contain: low-key urban fantasy, loyalty kink, PTSD and caretaker fatigue, SOME porn, a LOT of fluff and fix-it, a pet griffin, navigation of conflicting power dynamics, and people being disgustingly reasonable and undramatic. Most of the time. At least half of the time. Does not contain: murder mysteries, love triangles between human, werewolf and vampire, high-stakes, bloody battles, huge magical explosions, dramatic car chases, and I may have lied about one of those. (not the love triangle, i hate those.)