“We had sex,” Clint says, bluntly. “Collectively.” [Written for Porn Battle; Warnings apply]

There it is, the word he's been trying harder than anything not to even think, and now that it's out there's no hiding from it. (aka the Angry Goat Noise remix; no spoilers for movie)

It's not all bad when Jim and Leonard awake in a strange room containing a large pool of water - until the tentacles start appearing.

When you open yourself up completely to someone else, you also make yourself completely vulnerable.

Voldemort has captured Harry and for his own twisted reasons has chosen not to kill him outright. Revenge in the Dark Lord's mind requires a fate worse than death and Harry is about to find out what that is.

In which young Church ward Gamzee Makara is finally old enough to be officially initiated into the ranks of the subjugglators.

Episodes From the Lives of Twelve Trolls From Various Castes From Low to the Very Highest (and One Pariah Who Fell Out the Bottom of the Spectrum) Who Band Together to Challenge the Rule of Her Imperial Condescension. Featuring Romances in All Four Quadrants, Heretical Philosophies, a Dangerous Amount of Revolutionary Fervor, Regicide, Ancestor Worship and More to be Added Later.

Sollux would be willing to wait forever for Karkat to feel ready, but the drones aren't so patient.

All you need to know about this series is that the doc is titled "The Sex Buddy Fic". A series of 'made-them-do-its' which ended up telling a much bigger story.

Kaner apparently starred in a porno at some point in his life. Jonny becomes very, very invested in watching it. Repeatedly.

Gaila rescues her captain from slavers, but they want a show first. They get more than they bargained for. For Pornbattle IX.

This is not the behavior Stiles was expecting from a werewolf he’s been dream invading. To be honest, Stiles expected more blood, bruises and begging. He was not expecting creepy Derek to go to sleep next to him.

Derek as Khal Drogo (but set in snow beyond the wall) and Stiles as Daenerys Stormborn (although he's a greenseer of the Children rather than a dragon)

"My name is Karkat Vantas," you say when the recording starts. "Imperial ID number 4136-1211-15201. I'm applying for status as a pail slave. I'm," you swallow hard to try to clear the lump from your throat, "I'm unfit for standard contribution due to abnormal hemotype, but I want to serve my Empire to the best of my ability. I understand the physical demands of the position and," your voice cracks, "I'm training to be better prepared for them. I swear to cooperate readily and faithfully with my assigned user. I surrender my body to Imperial custody. All hail Her Imperious Condescension, and all hail her glorious Empire."

Karkat comes to the Derse Dreamers as a gift. Not under the best of circumstances, but they make the best of it.

Equius gets ridden, in more than one sense of the word.

Contrary to popular belief, weres don't actually need alphas. Patrick never had one, since he's the only person in his family with the gene, and his parents didn't push him into finding one. Alphas make their betas better; they keep them calm and level, they support them, they guide them. Without an alpha, betas are perfectly fine. They're just better with one.

Kaner comes into his veela heritage on his 24th birthday. Shenanigans and surprise feelings ensue.

Athelstan's Christian devotions arouse the suspicions of Ragnar's neighbours and he is dragged before the Earl and accused of working evil magic. The villagers want to sacrifice him to Odin to ward off ill-luck, but Ragnar and Lagertha step in to save him by proposing that he is sacrificed instead to Freyr, the god of fertility and sexual pleasure. By fucking Athelstan until he screams and begs, Ragnar argues, he will prove that the Christian God has no power in their lands. Athelstan is surprisingly ok with this.

Stiles would say his relationship with Derek is about fifteen percent empty threats, thirty percent sass, ten percent avoiding violence together, and five percent eyebrows. If anyone asked, he would say the remaining forty percent is mutual orgasms. It’s a good thing no one ever asks.

Pornstars Derek and Stiles work for the same company. Derek only shoots with werewolves and Stiles only shoots with humans. That's not going to change after they meet. It's really not. (It might.)

As the base's resident expert on human culture, Sam had fumbled his way through some pretty awkward conversations, but even he didn't feel up to tackling the questions Bee would have once he learned that his best friend had somehow developed a fetish for alien robots.

In an alternate universe where everyone is either a Dom, a Switch, or a sub, the NHL is one of the few major sports that allows co-dynamic teams. Sidney Crosby, Patrick Kane, and the other hockey-playing subs are happy of this fact, but dealing with the stress of being a professional hockey player on top of the stress of being a sub in a Dom-dominated world brings more complications then most of them expected.

Stiles dates a sex demon. Derek doesn't approve. It all goes about as well as expected.

Every year I do a post of all the bits of fic I couldn't find a place for. Some stand alone pretty well; most are just starts I don't have the interest or energy to finish.

After being tortured by a group of hunters, Derek goes into heat. Stiles helps him through it. Written for the 24-hour porn challenge community, Stop, Drop, and Howl.

Jack didn't forget anything. He lost everything. It set him down a different path than the one the Moon had intended. A darker, more violent one.

"They can see us," Abed says calmly. As if he's just figuring it out.

In this rewriting of history, Sid gets an experimental treatment for his concussion that has some rather unusual side effects. Geno helps him out. There are complications.

The Inspector is famously thought of as asexual; the Anti-Inspector is . . . not. Abed likes to play both roles.

Troy and Abed are in a relationship. This offers Abed the opportunity to explore a classic entertainment trope from porn videos.

The second time Derek and Stiles meet is in a gay bar. A wizarding gay bar. It's very sparkly. Series

"I asked you if you needed to hit me again. Because. In court, you said Sir, you said that you were going to." Levi blinked at him. He'd only told Eren he'd missed a spot.

kchanlp: NaruSasu + Itachi. Maybe hipster? In which big brother has to teach Sasuke how he should first and foremost close the goddamn door when his goddamn boyfriend is in his room doing goddamn... things.

Stiles gets friendly with a Tentacle Monster.

Tony Stark is all about the advancement of science, but...he probably should have clued Steve in a little sooner. Steve just thinks it's a bad idea to volunteer for anything that involves Reed Richards.

Steve's not sure where he is, or how he got there, or why there's a tentacle there, but at least he's having fun.

In which Derek finds Stiles in a compromising position.

AU from 1x04, "Magic Bullet." "Why the hell did you do that?" Derek demanded. "Why would you bond with me? You were going to leave me for dead, you didn't want anything to do with helping me." "Okay, first of all, that was like two hours ago and I've grown a lot as a person since then," Stiles said.

Letting their guard down inside the TV was a stupid move, and now Souji has to try get things under control while Yosuke deals with the effects of a Shadow's new attack.

Only Severus sees what's really going on here.

Is it even possible for penises to develop Stockholm syndrome?

They are enemies before the Inquisition brings them together. When the tension of unexpected camaraderie gives way to something more, Dorian learns that the Iron Bull is almost nothing like what he expected. It leaves one to wonder: what does the future hold for a Tevinter mage and a Qunari ex-Ben Hasrath agent?

A Doribull Story! "...and as you gripped my horns, I. Would. Conquer. You.” The Bull's words to him on the road that afternoon had wormed their way into Dorian's mind, and try as he might he can't seem to rid himself of them... - My exploration of how the in-game relationship between Dorian Pavus and The Iron Bull might have come to be, based on in-game banter and the conversions you can have with both characters. This story is very much a case of 'sex first, feelings after'.

Cullen struggles with his lyrium addiction. Some days are better than others. Or (if you prefer a silly summary for a not-so-silly fic): In which Cullen is suicidally depressed, Dorian is a high-functioning alcoholic, and Bull just wants them both to be happy, except when he wants to crack their heads together for being emotionally stunted idiots.

Everyone knows that there are no free mages under the Qun. The Ben-Hassrath know that there's nothing more useful than a fact that 'everyone knows'.

Barry agrees to a deal with the devil and finds himself enjoying it a lot more than he expected.

The South is a wilderness of warring barbarian 'kings', raiding bands, bandits and other such creatures. Like every good citizen of the Imperium, Dorian Pavus despises the very thought of the place and all those savages who inhabit it, probably all sweaty and half-naked and... sorry, lost his train of thought for a moment there. Of course, most good citizens of the Imperium haven't just been captured by a group of said southern barbarians. (AU in which Hawke leads a raiding band, Dorian is the prize all his men are fighting over, Varric stands to make a lot of money off the betting pool, and Trevelyan is not the Inquisitor, he's a very naughty boy)

In which Cole isn't a desire demon, but thinks it might help if he was.

On any given day, Sherlock might come out of the bathroom smelling like an Alpha on the hunt (Alpha #8) or an Omega in heat (Omega #9), a Beta brooding (Beta #3), or like no gender at all. The last one was his actual scent, which wasn't so much scentless as confusing. At least in an adult. If Sherlock and John were the sort of people to read Mills and Boon novels, they could have said that what occurred was because destiny intervened and set two destined lovers in their one true pairings' path. It was the lasagna.