She's silhouetted in the bright morning light; a shining angel that sets off your headache almost immediately and proclaims Hark ye, maiden of the grain and grapes, today will be a Day Moste Shittey.

Derek works at a porn store. One day, Stiles comes in asking all sorts of TMI questions about different toys. That's where it all starts.

In which the Bull is one of the Ben-Hassrath's best agents, ready to give himself piece by piece to the fighting on Seheron, and Dorian is cursed, irritated, and stuck in a cave. An AU where the Iron Bull meets Dorian on Seheron, with Beauty & the Beast elements.

15 texts that were never sent in Westeros.

The Iron Bull is a firefighter with scars and history to spare. Dorian keeps setting things on fire- like curtains, and dates. Or, the one where two messed up people find each other, Solas is a righteous avenger, Cullen really needs to stop online dating, and everyone gets a happy ending but not without some pain to go with it.

Zoro is a cambion, which means he feeds on sexual energy. A small crew like the Strawhats, its not normally enough to keep a cambion satisfied, but Sanji happens to be an abnormally sexually driven cook so it usually works out okay for Zoro. At least, it works out alright until Sanji finds out that Zoro's been taking energy from him through his dreams. For Sanji, he's trying to wade through the confusing mess of emotions for a certain marimo after a surprise kiss on the battle feild. It's not easy to do on a normal basis. It certainly isn't any easier when the man he has deeper feelings for is a cambion. Then everyone learns how important it is to keep their local cambion fed, for if they don't, someone might get eaten. literally.

“You know what I am?” Kuroo asks. He’s not looking up at Kenma, instead concentrating too much on pushing his shirt up over his chest. …Shit, Kenma owes Shouyou a thousand yen. (( or: shouyou and kenma make a lot of bets, kenma meets a ridiculously handsome stranger, and a ridiculously handsome stranger treats kenma to a night he couldn't forget even if he wanted to. it's a good thing he doesn't. ))

Pete is a divorced Elvis impersonator at a Las Vegas wedding chapel, who’s stopped believing in happy endings. Patrick hasn’t, but then again, he’s there to marry Bob.

Wei Wuxian can’t sleep. Luckily, Hanguang-jun’s ASMR videos help. A modern AU in which they are all video bloggers and Wei Wuxian cries a lot.

A hockey rookie joins the campus drag troupe. Sasha didn’t know they even had a campus drag troupe. Sasha hasn’t been paying a lot of attention.

Aizawa Shouta is a part-time college student and, more recently, an EMT in training. He doesn't have the funds to call Tokyo home and never did, but how he ends up renting a room from nationally acclaimed author Yagi Toshinori is anybody's guess. Yagi is kind, and rich, travels a lot for conferences and has a very fat cat named Dumpling. Shouta loves Dumpling. He also loves leaving the door open when he's dressing, because he knows Yagi-san is looking.

Kaminari is going through a messy divorce, which has led to sending transcripts of his texts with his ex to his attorney. Shinsou is the attorney’s legal assistant, who has to go through said transcripts and black out all the explicit pictures before they can appear as exhibits in court. Reading through the sexts though, and they are GRAPHIC, Hitoshi starts to agree with the ex: he ALSO wants to ‘come on Denki’s tits’ and ‘shove his cock so far down Denki’s throat he’s coming directly into his stomach’.

“I can fake anything,” Neil says with a smirk. “Including passports, but those don’t come cheap.” “What about orgasms,” Andrew asks. (or, Andrew’s roommates are having noisy sex. Enter Neil Josten, actor extraordinaire and willing to help Andrew get petty revenge.)

Dabi narrows his eyes. "Alright. Let's say you don't die. You still have a limited amount of blood, and a lack of blood flow or oxygen to your brain could probably cause permanent damage that even your immortality can't repair." "I'll stop you before that happens," Hawks says, with way more confidence than he has any right to have. "You have zero self-preservation instincts," Dabi has to point out. Hawks grins at him, shooting him finger guns. "So we doing this, or what?" ~ Dabi is a vampire who's never had human blood straight from the tap before. Hawks is a dumbass college student cursed with immortality. What could go wrong?