Insta-fic! Inspired by the vid of emo boys kissing so generously linked to by ladycat777 and ros_fod, my version of kissing on a dare with a high-school aged Spike and Xander.

In which a mutant too famous to cull is dropped like a grenade into the midst of the peace process, a foolish monarch proves himself secretly shrewd, the power of friendship functions as a force multiplier, and it is discovered that in the Great Game of espionage, the dealer does not always win.

Arson Clinic engages in a nerdy rap battle with Lil Cal while stagehand Karkat smokes in an alley behind the venue and hates life. Meanwhile, homeless punk John Egbert goes on a quest for a little rubber alien.... AND THEN THEY ALL ROCK.

Title: Learning Each Other (Got a lot to learn) Summary: "Karkat," you say, because it feels amazing but you can't help yourself, "is that an octopus in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" "That is the stupidest pickup line in either of our universes," Karkat says, his face gray-red and his pupils huge, "and I dare you to find out." Title: Tomb Raiders Summary: Faint heart never won fair lady, you think. Or fair gentleman either. "If you're going to kiss me," you say, "now would be an excellent time." Title: Dirk: Take Charge Summary: You're going to leave the toybox in the closet tonight, because you are fairly certain that you can ruin him six ways to Sunday without even a pair of fuzzy handcuffs to back you up, and you really don't want to give the poor guy an aneurysm or something. Humanstuck, aged-up characters, dom/sub, ssc, being STRONG is sexy, porn battle, Title: Strength of Character Summary: Polite, a natural leader, and unusually strong. John is certainly a human worth paying further attention to.

Karkat gets kidnapped. When Gamzee hears, he just goes with the flow. Competence? From Gamzee Makara? It's more likely than you think.

Terezi Pyrope is a Neophyte Legislacerator looking to lease an administrative assistant. She was not expecting to find Dave Strider, a secretarial asset with a sense of integrity as strong as her own. Dave Strider is a secretarial asset with "personality problems" that would have gotten him culled if not for his otherwise exemplary administrative abilities. He finds himself drawn into the quadrants of the would-be social reformer who leased him. He finds he is surprisingly Okay with this. Both their lives become interesting (in the curse sense) when the Heiress retains Pyrope and her team.

Sollux Captor is 22 years old, a successful freelance web designer, and an avid player of the wildly successful MMORPG, Grubquest. Karkat Vantas is 19 years old, a cranky CS-major freshman, and an avid player of the wildly successful MMORPG, Grubquest. Sollux and Karkat are the worst best friends and one of the top player-pairs in the game. In a month, they're meeting for the first time and it's exciting... and terrifying.

Derek's expecting the new guy. He's expecting another mostly-useless college kid who doesn't know one end of a horse from the other, and Derek doesn't have the time to babysit. What he's not expecting is Stiles Stilinski, who carries on conversations with the livestock and gets maybe a little too chummy with Isaac and is really kind of stupidly perfect in every way. And it's just distracting, that's all.

AU. It's not exactly that Lydia wants to set Danny up with her high school friend, it's more that she doesn't want to deal with him, and she'd rather make Danny do it.

Ryan plans weddings! Just not gay weddings. Ok, maybe just this once.

All Our Exploring: "We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot, Little Gidding. sometimes i feel: "I think I've missed a crucial turn in this conversation," Stiles says, practically into Scott's mouth because holy shit they are so so close now what is this, is this real. in a shower of: jonny washes patrick's hair; patrick doesn't hate it. Keep an Open Mind: They’ve had this connection for nearly as long as they’ve known each other; Patrick doesn’t know why it happened, what made it so that out of all the people in the world, it’s Johnny and only Johnny whose thoughts he can read, but there it is. One day it was just Patrick in his head, and the next, he’d woken up with the background awareness of Johnny in there too, and a panicked, thumping voice saying, Oh, shit. You too? Strange Days: "I don't want to talk to Deaton. I don't want to be another supernatural problem to be dealt with." No Business Like Show Business: In which Merlin is promoted from production intern to talent, is easily mortified, and has Post-It arguments with Arthur while the art department watches in glee. Also, there are gay dragons. Gone to the Dogs: Jonathan Toews turns into a puppy. Then some other stuff happens. what i'm saying is i need you here: Pat’s been carrying around these feelings for Johnny like an extra limb for years, now. It sucks, a little bit, but mostly it’s not too bad. Sometimes it blindsides her, though, like when the lockout ends and she comes back home. The Law of Conservation of Pants: Or, Five Things Darcy Lewis Thought She Knew Before She Met the Avengers (And One Thing That Will Always Be True). In which Darcy is put in charge of Social Media relations for the Avengers and finds that 5/6th of them challenge the things she thought she believed.

Geno had arrived in Pittsburgh looking every minute of the nineteen hour flight from Helsinki, plus however long he’d been in transit between there and his run from the KHL. Sid had been standing next to Mario, watching the new arrival expectantly, even though he didn’t think Geno was a threat. The other wolf had spent too much time negotiating on his own behalf to be allowed into another pack’s territory, and even more to be allowed to play with the team. But all the same, new wolves made Sidney antsy. Written for the multi-fandom Werewolf Big Bang.

Karkat comes to the Derse Dreamers as a gift. Not under the best of circumstances, but they make the best of it.

Evgeni doesn't want to be responsible for a slave. (AKA The Eagle AU that spends almost ZERO time north of the wall)

Stiles wants to win for America, okay? He wants to bone that constipated expression off of Derek Hale’s face on a bed strewn with American flags while Bruce Springsteen plays in the background and a bald eagle watches through the window with a single tear rolling down its cheek.

Derek is being pressured by his family to pick a mate, and somehow stumbles into a choice that they didn't expect and aren't sure they approve of....

"Honey, if you looked at johns the way you look at that car, you'd have the boys lined up down the block."

anonymous asked: wolfbrothers johnjadekat

Brian has hidden his submissive orientation most of his life out of necessity more than desire and he's been fine. Really. Until he meets Dominic Toretto then fine doesn't really fit the situation anymore. A BDSM-universe AU of The Fast and the Furious.

It’s not even a big deal. Frankly, Derek doesn’t understand what Laura’s problems is when she’s the one who used to tease him so much about his compulsive gym rat routine.

After the final Seal is broken, Dean discovers that he's actually Lucifer. He's not really sure how he feels about that.

What it says on the tin. (Including Follow-ups to: Maybe one of these days you can let the light in, and One Of Those Things, and Mrs and Mr Pond..)

Apparently Supernatural was real, which was presumably why Gabriel was bleeding out onto Richard’s floor. (In which the actors of Supernatural find that reality is stranger and more disturbing than they previously believed, even counting Misha, and an injured archangel discovers that his universe is the subject of a TV show.)

Flashes of an unknown past haunt Naruto, entwining his steps with those of a former life no longer content to stay forgotten. There's a voice on the wind and another lifetime in his head, and it’s time for Uzushio’s Storm God to rise once more. (The soul of a city is a hard thing to kill. Uzushio is still aware, still waiting. And now, with the rebirth of her greatest Kage, it’s time to call her people home.)

The whole thing starts with Stiles' naked body, which is, apparently, "perfect."

When Loki attempts to mind-control Tony Stark in the middle of the Chitauri invasion, he unlocks powerful memories and abilities, and Tony realises that he's something greater and more powerful than he ever knew. And so is Steve Rogers, but that's a slightly different problem.

For the sake of his pride, Jiraiya's going to imagine that his double went out in the bed of some voracious and lusty twins—no, make that triplets, with everyone wildly satisfied and a smile on his face. The whole alternate universe thing is easier to swallow that way.

After the loss of his wife and his predecessor, Minato throws himself into his work, leaving his son almost entirely alone. Naruto grows up shunned but never outright reviled, aware of his burden and achingly lonely. But it’s not his way to give up, and someday, with the help of Kakashi, Obito, and a few faithful friends, he’s going to show his father just what kind of shinobi he can be.

Cullen is more than happy to make an appearance at the conclave at Seeker Pentaghast's request. How was he supposed to know that a simple favour would change his life forever? AKA The Cullen as Inquisitor AU I have been thinking about for some time.

Prince Doran does more than keep the Marcher Lords at bay in exchange for Myrcella Baratheon's hand for his son Prince Trystane--he sends an army to defend King's Landing, and in the same stroke take every scrap of glory from Tywin Lannister and every scrap of power from Queen Cersei.

Catelyn Stark leaves King's Landing telling even her old friend Petyr Baelish that she is taking her daughters back to Winterfell. Instead she takes them, without telling Ned, to Dorne because if anyone will believe a tale of Lannister treachery it will be the Martells of Dorne. She realizes, as she reaches the gates of Sunspear, that she is really no better than her father was all those years ago.

When King Robert shares plans to make Sansa Stark his mistress when she comes of age, Ned Stark defies the king and sends both of his daughters to Dorne--Sansa married to Prince Oberyn, Arya betrothed to Prince Trystane. Over the course of years, a plot begins to take shape to rid the royal family of some of the wickedness that has set in like rot.

Orochimaru is on the edge of breaking when someone unexpected pulls him back to solid ground. When the time comes, he returns the favor.

In which Robert Baratheon weds Catelyn Tully on the eve of rebellion while Cersei Lannister, the rising sun of Casterly Rock, is sent to the far North to marry Ned Stark and become Lady of Winterfell. In consequence, the fates of these two women, the people they love, and the game of thrones are changed forever. But winter is coming, as it always will.

AU world, where mutants are government property, and The Losers just got assigned a new sniper

The first time Jensen meets Max, he's cuffed to a chair with a dislocated jaw. Things don't improve significantly from this point onwards.

The Iron Bull is a firefighter with scars and history to spare. Dorian keeps setting things on fire- like curtains, and dates. Or, the one where two messed up people find each other, Solas is a righteous avenger, Cullen really needs to stop online dating, and everyone gets a happy ending but not without some pain to go with it.

For an anon prompt on my Tumblr that I kind of hijacked: gai/obito tho, kakashi's utterly terrified of the two ever coming together. "I've met Gai, Kakashi, and guess what? I'm going /to befriend him/." "You wouldn't DARE, Obito." "Oh, I would. We're going to be best friends." Obito and Gai hit it off instantly, and it all goes downhill from there. Kakashi finds them making out once and it's so horrible. He's never going to get that image out of his mind.

You remember the first time you really realized you were fucked up. You were five. First year of kindergarten, miserable as all fuck. The teacher told the boys to line up on one side of the room and the girls on the other. You don't even remember why. You just remember the result.

Oh, huh. There are breasts at the other end of that poking stick. Bare ones. "She says, she does not care if you look at the wrong places that don't make words, but if you think you don't have to answer with words she may let me eat you." Right. So. The shadow. That's a dragon's wing.

"Double-check the wards properly! Dying of awesome sex would be a good way to go if we have to, but I'm not keeling over before I get my diploma, okay?" John rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." Jade keeps watching him from the corner of her eye for a few seconds; he seems to be doing it seriously, at least, even if he's still huffy. "Bluh. I get why you'd need to pass demonology, but not why I need it if my major is weather magic." -- Anonymous asked: John/Jade/Karkat - John and Jade are demon summoners (for reasons) trying to call up an incubus/succubus (for reasons). They get Karkat.

"It's okay! We're just seducing you for better grades!" Poor Karkat, accosted by jailbait. What a tragic life a TA leads.

“Now about that gift I got you, remember how you’ve been all wistful about your concupiscent quadrants? Well I got you something to fix that.” “What,” Karkat said blankly. “Gamzee no, tell me you didn’t get me sex toys.” The good news is that it's not sextoys The bad news is that it's a person.

In a world where Zoro isn't even a person any more can he ever be free or manage to do anything more than just survive? He should have known that he'd be bought eventually but this... isn't what he'd expected. Zosan, updated weekly. All comments, thoughts and wild-mass-guessings welcome!

Beyond that door is a boy Sid has skated with six times, and spoken to twice. He’s a year older than Sid is, and drugged out of his mind on Bonding agent.

Peter first meets Deadpool when he's nine years old, shaking in a basement somewhere and waiting to die.

Morgana turned away from the high, barred window and rubbed her arms, chilled and bare. Arthur was sitting in the dirty straw at the very limit of his chains, which kept him a few inches too far away to touch Merlin's limp body. Outside they were putting up the stake.

(563): Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards.

Dorian Pavus needs out of Tevinter. The Iron Bull, a relatively well off rancher, is in want of a husband. It may as well be a perfect match. After answering The Iron Bull's ad in the newspaper, Dorian is whisked out of Tevinter and into the rugged beauty of Western Orlais to become a farm husband. Together, they learn how to love among the wildflowers.

Love is a weapon brought to bear. Love is blood spilled without remorse, and a kiss that’s so sweet they can ignore the taste of copper underneath.