In which John has his first real homocrush and does stupid shit in effort to alleviate it. (extra:topodfic applies to the first 2 fics in the series)

“Auntie Pezza, or Percy if you’re boring,” Pez grinned, gesturing to themself before their hand moved towards Henry, “Hen, Henry if you’re boring, or His Royal Highness Prince Henry if you’re really boring.” “Oh shit, like the Prince of England, Prince Henry?” His eyebrows shot up and he grinned, “I didn’t expect you to be…” “Gay?” “Hot,” He snorted, looking Henry up and down in a way that made him feel like a piece of meat. He didn’t particularly dislike it, “I’m Alex. First Son Of The United States, if you’re boring.” Pez laughed, and Henry let himself crack a grin before speaking, “Punk FSOTUS? Didn’t expect that one, I can’t lie.” OR Prince Henry meets Alex, the First Son Of The United States, at a very boring upper-class party, and spends the next few months planning to get this man into his bed.

“I want you to bitch me.” Tim reacted to the word so strongly he nearly fell off his chair. “Kon you- you can't say that!” It wasn't a word one should bring up in polite company, Tim had learned early on. Kon rolled his eyes emphatically. “Fine. I want you to help me transition my dynamic into one that more closely resembles how I feel inside. Happy?”