How to build a database to get the right person or people for every kinky contingency. One such task is suggested; readers are encouraged to submit more.

There are plenty of people in the world who are better at sex than Sidney, basically everybody who's tried to do it more than three times and got past handjobs, so when he decides he needs some help, he seeks out experts--or rather, sexperts.

Patrick Kane tries to give a St. Crispin's Day speech and ends up as Falstaff. Sort of.