"On the bright side," Dick says as he shimmies down the building, "You didn't raise a group of homicidal, raging, vengeful killers and sociopaths so much as you raised a group of emotionally-volatile, obsessive, spiteful vigilantes and paper pushers."

"Yeah. Thanks. Just what I need. Black lipstick."

"His name is Tim and I think my dick will never understand the difference between fear and arousal again."

"Didn't you know, Jason?" Tim says, voice light and taking on that tone that their public personas use, "I'm a winter. Lavender is my color."

In which Tim is the Witch, Jason was supposed to be the debt but turns out to be Red Hood, and there are shenanigans because life isn't that great when your mom was Janet Drake. A series in which fairytales collide to make life awkward and horrible. (Tim the witch, Jason as Rapunzel turned witch-hunter, and more to be added along the way.)

"It's a match made in high society heaven." Tim drawls. "Also, it's your turn to make dinner tonight, you should get on that."

"Why does Ra's know how old my piercings are?" Tim asks, and does he know where they are.

Tim refrains from telling Jason that most people are terrified of sharks. It seems a bit pointless. Tim isn't most people, after all.

"Is it too early to go and lock myself in my room and scream?"

Kon raises an eyebrow, "You weren't kissing random people. I mean – you looked pretty goal oriented when you went off to shove your tongue down his throat and make friends with his tonsils."

babybirdblues asked you: That one story where Tim gets his nanny to rescue Jason from a Bad Man (Joker) because Tim is an evil genius who has already taken over Gotham. No one touches his Robins or Batman. In which Tim Drake has the entire underground wrapped around his little finger - and Deathstroke the Terminator will not say no on threat of puppy eyes.

"I don't taunt you with relationships with other men. I have relationships with other men because you leave me unfulfilled and angry and ready to punch someone in the dick."

"You're fucking with me." Tim blinks up at his uncle – and he's never seen his uncle in full armor before, not in person. It's kind of daunting. "Please tell me you're fucking with me, spawn."

"This is the fortieth time." Jason says, "Just to point that out. I'm not complaining, or anything."