Hardison, bless his geeky wee heart, ponders which Hogwarts House each of the team would be sorted into. Eliot just wants his damn headset fixed. (Dialogue-only)

Essentially: LWJ's mom and WWX's mom ON THE RUN with THEIR KIDS. (...and also MY's mom. And any other goddamn moms who need help. Get in the fucking car, ladies, we're saving everybody) Because here's the thing: LWJ's mother was a cultivator who killed her future-husband's teacher. And I think we all have a pretty damn good idea what might have gone down to provoke that, and why the Lan menfolk never actually explain what precipitated this act of extreme violence, and thus we can probably take a stab at why a perhaps-newly-pregnant lady* might end up agreeing to a marriage of convenience with some guy she really wasn't into, who was determined to keep her locked up in a pleasant little prison in Gusu. And I'd like to say "aww, bless him, he saved his unrequited crush all selflessly like, even though they didn't then live together as husband and wife"....but he subsequently knocked her up with a second child. :/ The ladies in MDZS tend to have a pretty shitty time, so this fic is pulling a goddamn Fury Road and scooping them up and taking them off to form their own Ye Olde Themyscira-ish Rogue Sect of ladies looking out for other ladies. (*obvs this is my headcanon.)

"Where is the Pern AU in which WWX's sleek black dragon, outcast among his kind for his colour and intelligence, ends up the one to entwine LWJ's great golden queen in a mating flight so intense it's sung about Weyrwide for generations to come (never where small children can hear)?" ...and apparently teenage McCaffrey-fan me felt like this was an excellent idea, and worth interrupting the other WIPs I'm currently working on to have a quick scribble at. So, uh - yeah. Pern AU, basically, because dragons yay?

chengxian thought: turnip sales aren't cutting it, so wwx freelances out of a yiling brothel. jc, blowing off steam on one of his periodic trips to check up on him, asks for whatever the madam recommends and, welp, there's his brother. jc writes this off as a charitable donation. I did not intend to put any further thought into this but just like, the idea of the moments where wwx is still laughing off the coincidence and jc has already decided to go through with it, to insist, and wwx slowly slowly gets there

Modern AU: Mingjue and Xichen are living in different cities, no longer entirely boyfriends as such, more in a best-friends-sort-of-dating-long-distance-in-an-open-relationship scenario. But in practice this largely involves having long distance phone sex most nights while both watching the same porn. Which, for several months now, has mostly meant watching a sunny little femmeboi called A Yao, who has dimples to die for, an Only Fans page, an endless supply of stockings and dildos, and the kind of flexibility that makes your eyes water. Mingjue and Xichen are maybe just a little obsessed with the idea of wrecking him. Lately, A Yao has started including his roommate "Xiao Tang" in his shoots - with his face pixelated, because Xiao Tang is shy, and is not entirely ready to be internet famous in this way. Mingjue and Xichen are both extremely enthusiastic about this turn of events. Which is going to be a little awkward in the immediate future...

Saving people, hunting things: the family business. Modern AU: the Nies are hit by a demon's death curse, which is NOT fuck or die - it's fuck AND die, a kind of reverse cultivation curse that's usually directed against cultivation partners, destroying their golden cores little by little every time they fuck. NOT a clever curse to use against brothers! ...except that the curse comes with a chaser: its targets share blisteringly horny sex dreams every night, as a way of encouraging them to go ahead and give in to the whole fuck-and-die schtick. Awkward. So it makes sense to search for a cure to the curse, right? Especially since the cure might actually help stabilise Mingjue's golden core. Obviously they have no intention of actually boning once they've got rid of the whole fuck-and-die curse... (...for the life of me I can't remember who suggested a Fuck AND Die trope on Twitter many weeks ago - evidently it has been living rent free in the back of my head ever since, though, and so here we have some Niecest.)