A tiny prompt ficlet. Tony cannot, for the life of him, make a decent piece of toast. Bruce ... finds this far more amusing than he should

He doesn’t tell Dave why he hides his food under the futon, behind mixing equipment, inside the bricks of his desk. Why his swords are two steps from where he sleeps, and why he’s trained himself to cat nap in three hour intervals of insomniac nervousness.

When he realised he had two genders, he wanted to scream in frustration.

Stiles sighs as the sweep starts running. "I can't believe we almost lost the bestiary because you felt the need to visit skeevy porn sites without antivirus protection."

Derek risks a glance at Stiles only to find him practically fucking vibrating with glee at he ticks his gaze between Derek and Laura, like embarrassing family stories about Derek are the best thing that's ever freaking happened to him.

Zelgadis is learning to live with his body.

Quality time. With Rise.

Ranger Mori and Ranger Ackerman are drift compatible, but outside the Jaeger they rarely exchange words.

Brienne nearly starts a brawl at Sansa Stark's wedding when she elbows Littlefinger in the face and bloodies his nose.

"Okay," Eric says, "but you've got to be quiet, sweetheart. You know how thin these walls are."

He’s Dave motherfuckin’ Strider. He saved two—no, three, kind of—universes and has made out with aliens, okay? He has made time his bitch, died for his cause time and time again, and had an ultimate rap off with an Insane Clown Posse wannabe while the fucker was on a murder spree. He doesn’t give two shits what other people think of him.

This is not exactly what Jensen was expecting when he came into work this morning.

"Are you sure this is okay with you," she whispers quietly, peering down at Jason.

An alternate take on leupagus's Space Princess Poe.

Josephine is not a flirt, really.

The Antivan language and sex on the war table: just two of Bull's varied interests.

Leliana figures it out first, quite possibly even before Josephine does—and definitely before Cassandra does, but then, Cassandra can be very selectively dense. Certainly she figures it out well before either of them says anything to the other.

Dorian paces in front of the door fitfully. He clutches the sealed letter in his hand feeling ridiculous. What is he doing? He doesn’t even know if Cullen is interested. It’d just been a throw away line that started the conversation. Something about Leliana and Josephine snickering about marriage proposals at the war table.

Dorian can not believe this is happening. When he’d come down to join the Chargers for their evening drinks this time, rather than taking his usual seat next to Krem, his lover had grabbed him about the waist and pulled him into his lap. Dorian had flushed red and the Chargers had broken into a chorus of laughs and hoots. “This okay?” Krem murmurs the question into his ear when the hollering dies down. Dorian is still blushing but he nods. It’s not the first time they’ve done something like this, though he still can’t quite believe Krem wants this, pressed close to him in public, obviously affectionate, despite the watchful eyes of the tavern patrons.

Kink meme de-anon. Anon asked for Krem/male unwanted pregnancy and promised a castle in northern Scotland if the father was Dorian.

“Is that lightning?” Cullen chokes out breathlessly.

Prompt fill for - Cellular - Ryan - Unknown Number

Rose said later that "I was really fucking bored" was insufficient explanation or indeed justification for the First Triennial Human/Troll Flashstepping Competition. (Now with a tiny sequel!)

Karkat can match him at either end of his scale, balancing both highs and lows with this kind of frothing, incoherent fury that's...kind of attractive, in the right light. All that energy. All that drive.

"So what's an ashen kiss like, then?" Karkat demonstrates various quadrant-appropriate kisses to Jade.

"Umm, I don't need to be a troll to notice that hating on each other makes you guys miserable." -- mitsuhachiinthehive asked: Jade c3< karkat c3< sollux, first kiss.

You can't control your lungs. It's ridiculous, this is just a bit of rope, you could bite or claw through it if you tried hard enough (no you couldn't, he's too good at this.)

"Yo. S'obvious our previous tricks aren't gonna work the same anymore, so let's open the floor to suggestions."

For an anon prompt on my Tumblr that I kind of hijacked: gai/obito tho, kakashi's utterly terrified of the two ever coming together. "I've met Gai, Kakashi, and guess what? I'm going /to befriend him/." "You wouldn't DARE, Obito." "Oh, I would. We're going to be best friends." Obito and Gai hit it off instantly, and it all goes downhill from there. Kakashi finds them making out once and it's so horrible. He's never going to get that image out of his mind.

“Are you sure I can convince him?” Madara asks dubiously. Hashirama nods. “Only you can convince him,” Hashirama says. Then, solemnly, “Madara, you’re our only hope.”

You've been... you don't know, study buddies, something stupid like that, for most of spring semester.

"Well of fuckin' course troll JKR wasn't forced ta have Voldie be a fake sea dweller with magicked-on fins in the end, he was a fake who was aimin' higher than his station in life all along, this is the only readin' that makes any sense! If he were a real sea dweller then his motive for offin' the landdwellers makes zero fuckin' sense! An' his lack a any true class, are you even serious?" "I find it remarkable that a single being should be so consistently and hugely self-blind," Rose mused, and bared her teeth in a pleasant (not) grin. -- Anonymous asked: Rose spade/diamond Eridan, the differences between troll and human Harry Potter.

Davepetasprite takes up an old hobby in a new medium.

If Bro had smiled, even once...

The common folk whisper about the Council of Kings and Queens that rules over Westeros. They whisper that they are the Seven reborn.

Brienne looks like the perfect portrait of a knight, kneeling in supplication before her lady.

Konoha is an experience, and that’s just about the politest way Ine can phrase it.

Equikat, everyone's a dom or sub AU. -- The thing with Equius is, he's huge, and he's ripped, and he has a low, carrying voice, and he's bossy as fuck. Before he started wearing Karkat's collar he let people who were not directly concerned assume whatever they wanted out of his hearing, and he never came back home weary, never went straight to Karkat's desk to kneel there at his feet, silent and drawn in and waiting for a hand to caress his hair like he was a statue on the verge of crumbling into dust and only Karkat's touch might ward off that fate.

"It's okay! We're just seducing you for better grades!" Poor Karkat, accosted by jailbait. What a tragic life a TA leads.

The humans are likely taking care of the conversations. Gaila and Kori can attend to much more pleasant diplomatic endeavors.

It's one thing to know in your gut that something is safe. It is another thing entirely to have the evidence staring you in the face, irrefutable and heartbreakingly earnest. (a kink meme fill)

It was Cass who found him.

Dick Grayson gives shitty advice on how to go undercover as a hooker. Fortunately, Steph can do better.

When Tim Drake was 2 years old, his parents moved to Metropolis.

Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, oh my. (Or, Tobirama has a date. He will probably live to regret it.) Prequel to It’s Witchcraft.

The separate steps along divergent paths don’t change the fact that the destination remains the same.

For this ask on my Tumblr: IM IMAGINING THE WRITING THING AS MADATOBI NOW?? IMAGINE!! secret letters between enemy clans. tiny stick figure drawings of hashirama doing something stupid. instructions for a new jutsu. the possibilities are ENDLESS (Aka that soulmate AU where if you write something on your skin it also shows on the other’s.)

Yuri has joined the conversation. v-nikiforov: d i b s

From a prompt on my Tumblr: I kinda ship IzuTobi? NOT because it’s the default side pairing to HashiMada, but because your stars-in-his–eyes-attracted-to-pretty-but-lethal-people!Izuna is the funniest thing ever, and I want to see Tobirama as the target of that mooning. Imagine: “Uchiha, I almost killed you.” “I know, you’re the best!

For a prompt on my Tumblr: TOS!Sannin. Tsunade McCoy the grumpy, compassionate alcoholic with a heart of gold, Jiraiya Kirk the cocky and intelligent leader and womaniser, and finally, S'chan T'gai Orochimaru, the 'non-emotional' genius scientist with a not-so-hidden soft, gooey emotional centre.