Chris winds up on Chord's lap during the Glee Live! tour. A lot. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.

They are making out, in a manner the script even goes so far as to call "heated," and Chris is really, really wishing he spent more of his time making out with people he didn't work with so he'd have some kind of frame of reference for this type of thing.

A fanfic writer and Feminist Ryan Gosling discuss celebrity culture, gender and theory, and the political perils of Fassavoy fic.

"What, you don't roll around with all your clothes on when you're having sex?" Darren asks, and Chris snorts into his shoulder. "Because that's, like, the only way I'll do it. Either roll or go home."

"If I were Christian fucking Bale, or Jesus Christ help me, Clooney in the nipple suit, gearing up to play Bruce fictional fucking Wayne, he'd send me a fucking fictional helicopter."

In which there are parties, awkwardness and orgasms.

In which the gay bar is Stalberg's idea and Kaner doesn't notice Jon pretending to be his boyfriend.

Kaner wakes up soulbonded to Tazer. Then gay shit happens.

I've been calling this The Sexual Misadventures of Sidney Crosby forever, and that gives you an idea, but just in case: in which Sidney wins a gold medal, has sex (a lot), falls in love (twice), and breaks a bunch of rules.

"Once there were two hockey players. One had great hair. One had a lot of brothers. This is their story." Or, Kris Letang gets a hug and Marc Staal meets a nice boy. Inspired by Morning to Wake You

or, the many times Tyler Seguin tried to come out on Twitter and no one believed him.

They’ve had this connection for nearly as long as they’ve known each other; Patrick doesn’t know why it happened, what made it so that out of all the people in the world, it’s Johnny and only Johnny whose thoughts he can read, but there it is. One day it was just Patrick in his head, and the next, he’d woken up with the background awareness of Johnny in there too, and a panicked, thumping voice saying, Oh, shit. You too?

His mom had told him not to fall in love with houses; so had his dad, made some crack about them being worse than women, son, while his mom fake-punched him in the arm and then added, "and like people, it's what's underneath that matters, Johnny." But this is the first house he's looked at that he's liked, though he doesn't know why: it's got narrow, pointy windows with stone pieces on the tops like eyebrows, and it sits between its larger, tidier, neighbours like a poor cousin. Johnny thinks it maybe just needs someone to love it; and then he thinks: fuck.

Sidney is starting to get a reputation amongst the Pens for being the go-to guy for free childcare. Or, five times Sidney babysat and one time someone babysat for him.

Geno is sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why Sidney has a dresser drawer full of sex toys, but right now he's drawing a blank.

The last thing you want to do with the guy you've been hung up on for ages is teach him how to be decent at sex. So of course, that's exactly what Geno does. Featuring interfering Russians, thorough devirginization, and equal parts alcohol imbibing and hockey playing.

"We'll make this work somehow, sweetheart, won't we?" he said, swaying back and forth a bit as it warmed up. It probably made him look stupid, but he'd discovered there were a lot of stupid-looking things he'd do to keep his baby girl happy.

“So, you Skype your boy a lot or something?” Kaner asks when he’s been there for a little while and heard Segs talk about Tyler enough to catch a clue. There’s something odd in his voice--a little plaintive, like he’s asking, so how do you deal with it? Segs hesitates, shrugs. Says, “Yeah, something like that.” Inside his head, Tyler laughs.

The only jobs for which no man is qualified are human incubators and wet nurse. Likewise, the only job for which no woman is or can be qualified is sperm donor. -Wilma Scott Heide

It turns out that buddyfucking your best friend without shit getting weird requires constant vigilance.

The body of the email just says, “don’t fuck seguin” because Jonny doesn’t know what capital letters are and he’s a controlling asshole even when he’s miles away, and attached to it is a spreadsheet that Patrick reluctantly opens. It’s color-coded with tabs and he’s not sure whether he wants to punch Jonny in the mouth or laugh in his face. Calling him in the middle of the airport is a really bad fucking idea and Patrick knows something about those, so he settles for sending Jonny a message. YOU SENT ME A JERK-OFF SCHEDULE FOR SWITZERLAND?!

Brent's got the werewolf thing pretty well under control after 24 years, but one little concussion and some emotional turmoil centered around his best friend/defensive partner makes things harder than they've ever been before. (angsting, pining, hockey, werewolf, rinse repeat. Takes place during the 09-10 season.)

It takes 140 characters or less and one absolute fucking moron to change Jon's entire life forever. He should have known all along it would be Kaner. It always is.

"Yes, Kaner," Sharpy's saying as Jonny sits down next to them with a beer. "It would indeed be gay to measure your teammates' dicks to find out whose is biggest."

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

“People who want to eat my grilled cheese for dinner should learn not to interrupt the delicate purchasing process with their unwelcome mockery,” Claude says. Danny and Claude move to Berlin. Nothing really changes, until everything does.

Kaner apparently starred in a porno at some point in his life. Jonny becomes very, very invested in watching it. Repeatedly.

Claude gets a new car. Cameron doesn't like it.

None of them have discussed the fact that Duncs is dating knock-off Seabses, because what can they really do about it?

Generally speaking, Kaner is the kind of girl you hear before you see coming. In some cases, literally. --- AKA the one where Jonny accidentally watches Kaner and Segs fucking over skype.

This wasn't supposed to happen. In the lists of things Brent wasn't expecting, this is at least third on the list, after 'being able to talk to animals' and 'growing wings' (but before 'zombie apocalypse').

AKA the one where Jonny learns to love Halloween and Patrick Kane discovers the powers of Vinyl Gloss 550 (Lovesick).

Chris is tired of pretending she plays for the other team. It doesn't help matters that she has a hot best friend.

In which KStew and Tazer meet in a bar, hookup, becoming bros who bone, talk about their gay crushes, and begin fake dating in an attempt to make said gay crushes jealous. Mostly in that order.

Apparently Supernatural was real, which was presumably why Gabriel was bleeding out onto Richard’s floor. (In which the actors of Supernatural find that reality is stranger and more disturbing than they previously believed, even counting Misha, and an injured archangel discovers that his universe is the subject of a TV show.)

It happens a few more times, always with just the thinnest veneer of bro-y joking, until Xiao Zhan figures this is just a thing they do sometimes. Casual sexting among friends must just be something Yibo needs, and Xiao Zhan is selfishly glad he gets to provide it for him. He doesn't think about who else Yibo might have figured out as well as he's figured out Xiao Zhan, who else might get to do this with Yibo.

It'd be easier to stop, Xiao Zhan thinks, if it wasn't such great sex.

By the time Wang Yibo turns twenty, he's accepted that his dick is too big for sex, and he will be a virgin forever. Xiao Zhan begs to differ.

Xiao Zhan looks up, ears twitching. Yibo's staring straight at him, mouth hanging slightly open, a towel clutched around his waist. Oh, shit, Xiao Zhan thinks, blinking slowly once, twice, and then hops right back out the window again.

Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.

"That? That's your confession?" Yibo's toppled onto Xiao Zhan's side and is clutching his shoulder, trying not to fall over. "That's pathetic!" "Oh, what, you can do better?" Zhuocheng is pretty flushed and there's a challenge in his voice that Yibo just can't walk away from. "Hell yeah, I can. Hit me, Yu Bin." Yu Bin cheers and refills Yibo's shot glass. "All right!" Yibo downs the shot, gags only slightly, and says, "Everyone! I'm a fucking virgin!"

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

Yibo opens his mouth and says, "I want to learn," barreling past the rapid rise of Xiao Zhan's eyebrows. "To last longer. Will you teach me?"

“Do you know how?” Wang Yizhou asks, but it’s all a light tease, and he’s already taking his hand away, as if in expectation. “Nope!” says Ji Li, confident. Then, in a move that he will recognise, in hindsight, to be the start of the complete undoing of his whole night, he adds, “But I’ll learn. Really quick.” He fishes out his phone from the pocket of his shorts, and holds it up, almost conspiratorial. “Bet I’ll have it down in one video. I’m very resourceful like that.”

Xiao Zhan doesn’t bother listening or saying anything in response to Yibo's ranting, just holds the phone a little closer to his face and lets a low moan hover at the edge of his breathing. He’s looking at the red tip of Yibo’s cock where it peeks out from his foreskin and thinking about licking it. Yibo’s indignation comes through clearly over the phone. “Are you— Are you jacking it, Xiao Zhan?” “Uh huh,” Xiao Zhan sighs, and tries his best to let the wet sounds of his hand on his cock get louder. Maybe he should grab lube for extra squelchiness. “Oh, no way. Nope, I can’t handle this,” Yibo declares and the line goes dead. Xiao Zhan laughs softly to himself, and somehow that transforms into the convulsions of orgasm and he comes all over his hand. He takes a picture and sends it to Yibo. see you tomorrow

Wang Yibo's message reads: who do you think like initiates the first time

"You're sure this is okay?" Yibo mumbles now, curling his knees beneath his chin on the toilet seat. "You don't have to check in with me every time," Xiao Zhan says, sounding warm over the fuzzy connection. His face is clear and his eyes are bright. Yibo feels himself relaxing. "Just tell me all about it later, yeah?"

"You can't be serious," Xiao Zhan says. "Zhan-ge," Yibo cajoles, brandishing his PS4 controller and patting the couch next to him. "Just give me like, two minutes. I promise. I swear. I just gotta be online for this drop."

Xiao Zhan has a side hustle he doesn’t want anyone to know about it. He’s building up a big stream following as a femboy, and his stream chat community is pushing to see someone touching him and giving him a good time. Wang Yibo is the only friend who knows—he helped him set up his stream—and the last person Xiao Zhan would consider asking to join him for the kinds of sex acts his stream wants to see. Yibo has a lot of opinions about that.

Two things happen simultaneously when their hands touch: first, the migraine that Xiao Zhan's been fighting all day dissipates so immediately that a loud gasp slips out of his mouth. Second, a torrential outpouring of warmth shoots up Xiao Zhan's arm so quickly that he almost loses his balance and falls off the bench. The next moment, Xiao Zhan drops Yibo's hand. He tries to convert the abrupt movement into something more graceful, but he doesn't think he succeeds. Yibo's eyes have gone wide. His neck bobs as he swallows. What the hell, Xiao Zhan thinks faintly, astonishment thick in his throat. He just manages to keep himself from passing out as the migraine lances through his head again with a vengeance.