Alright, look, confession - Tony has been masturbating to Captain America since he was thirteen.

For an LJ avengerkink prompt: Steve is very confused/weirded out by the distinct lack of pubic hair on modern women (or at least the women Tony has forcibly exposed him to). Sure he's a virgin, but he's seen naughty pictures/European burlesque shows. Therefore he's more than a little apprehensive when Natasha finally gets her panties off. Luckily she's a firm believer in giving her partners something to hold on to. Steve goes wild. +1 - it happens during group sexytimes and all the others stop what they're doing to watch Steve eat her out

Pepper didn't want to know how Natasha had access to a camera overlooking the gym showers. She just wanted more margaritas.

2014: Ice Bucket Challenge. 2015: Wax Off Heart Disease. 2016: mass hysteria.

AVN BREAKING NEWS-- DIAMOND VISTA RIDGE BREAKS HIS CONTRACT WITH HALE HOUSE "We haven't seen much of our favorite rock hard stud from Hale House ever since that indie twink dethroned him as champion in Orgasm Wars, but it's just been confirmed that Diamond will no longer be working for the legendary studio famous for producing some of our favorite werewolf-on-human works. Don't fret, Diamond fans, it looks like he's been spotted cozying up to True Alpha Studios! Apparently he couldn't get enough of that one human and then followed him home. Could it be true love? Keep your eye on this studio-- us at AVN think we're about to get a lot more of Diamond in a very new way!" ~ The one in which (almost) everyone is a porn star, and Derek just wants to curl up with his fluffy blanket and watch the Hallmark channel, but work and falling in love gets in the way.

Bacchus says the Percy and Jason having sex will be a suitable sacrifice to get him to help them defeat the giant twins. These two fics show two different scenarios for how that could play out.

Why the Beforan equivalent of yourself didn't appear here, you're not sure, though you suspect it has something to do with direct and indirect transference and the extent to which each of you had contact with game code prior to this remix of the universe; the Ancestors from Alternia had vague memories of being their Beforan selves, so both versions re-instanced, but as far as you know you're the only version of Sollux Captor the game was aware of. Poor Sollux, you jeer internally, all alone in the world. If you were to quadrant yourself, you're not sure whether self-hate or self-pity would be the dominant emotion, but either way, you're getting off on it. God, you make yourself sick. You hold your bulge like you're trying to restrain it, but who the fuck are you kidding. It wraps around your fingers, both tendrils snaking and coiling harder the more you try to will them to stop, like don't-think-of-a-trunkbeast, and you rub at them distractedly because you can't stand not to. Sollux Captor, system architect of the new universe, reduced to thinking with his bulge by two copies of his ancestor being obnoxious at each other. Fuck your hot life.

In a world where Omegas far outnumber Alphas, a dowry system is in place. The Omega’s family offers a dowry in order to secure a respectable Alpha match, with the highest dowries netting the “best” Alphas. Aunt May struggles to secure an Alpha for her Omega nephew’s first heat. All her meager savings can afford is a butt-ugly (by his own admission) Alpha without much experience to speak of. Peter would rather go unmated than lose his virginity to a guy that can’t go five seconds without making a Monty Python reference. However, it seems Peter has no choice…

Conner has a very specific fantasy in mind. He wants Tim to watch, and Tim is more than glad to do so.

Of all the wonderful things to come out of peace talks, Tobirama relishes Izuna's jealousy the most.

In which Sharpy bothers Jonny with his camera, and Jonny, well, likes it a lot.

Taylor loves it, everyone watching while he fucks himself on Adam’s dick and Adam’s hands are tight on his hips while he tells Taylor how good he looks, how everyone wants to be where Adam is. He loved it back in juniors and it’s even better now.

Jamie’s always known his girlfriend has a dirty mind.

Bull and Cullen return from vacation just in time to show their new neighbor the sights.

Isabela is the last person Cullen expected to see in Skyhold, but since she's here, they might as well get re-acquainted.

Believe it or not, Obi-Wan Kenobi had a rebellious phase. It just so happened that, once acquired, he never really grew out of it. -- In which Obi-Wan is a hobbyist exotic dancer. (And is really rather good at it, too.)

Three inches in front of Sanji's face, Zoro is wearing an expression that could wither stone. "What the fuck," the swordsman snarls, "do you think you’re doing." The remaining logical dregs of Sanji's brain recognize that he's just gotten himself into a pretty dicey situation. The rest of it apparently doesn't fucking care, though, because the absurd line of response he comes up with is to grin right in Zoro's supremely pissed-off face and say- "Well, what was your dumb ass doing?" In which the crew’s plastered, Zoro needs to blow off some steam, and Sanji gets taught a lesson or two.

Sam and Sebastian just want really want pizza and are willing to work for it, that's all. Just two friends getting a pizza fix... nothing gay to see here. (Then why does everyone keep watching?)

jaskier has three things: an unstoppable libido, a limitless imagination, and the continent's sexiest traveling companion. sometimes, this leads to certain accidents. they become a little less accidental over time. or: five times jaskier accidentally orgasms because of geralt, and one time he comes very much on purpose.