Alternate names – ‘this human emotion called ‘butt-touch,’’ ‘but who tops,’ ‘parkourstuck’ Steps 1. Be Dave Strider, human, tricker extraordinaire and minor GrubTube sensation. Meet some douchebag at a practice session. 2. Be Karkat Vantas, troll, traceur with a few tricks and an ornery fucker with something to hide. 3. Step into the trick, keep your core tight, and flip. 4. Keep flipping. 5. Now kiss. Tips -Drink plenty of water. -Don’t slow down as you’re approaching the obstacle! That’s stutter-stepping, and you will fuck up hard. -Knees up, shoulders back. -Quit worrying already and touch his hot butt.

More than two sweeps after being returned to a restored Alternia, the trolls face impending adulthood and banishment from the planet. Gamzee Makara fully expects to be culled on conscription for poor health and sopor addiction - what he doesn't count on is the personal attention and protection of the Grand Highblood.

"An immense saucer descending from the clouds and impacting the ground, as the press and through them the people of Earth looked on in shock and awe. That was the scene in California's Mohave desert two years ago today: the historic first view of the Alternian ship upon its dramatic arrival. Their ship was a refugee ship carrying a quarter million children and young adults ready to settle in almost any environment, but they washed ashore on Earth with no way to get back to where they came from. Civil liberties attorneys successfully lobbied for the Alternians' release from quarantine and in the last two years, the Alternians have become the latest addition to the population of Los Angeles." The representitives of a race of newcomers fight to give their people a home on Earth- but even without the deadly killer stalking the streets of LA, just surviving is hard enough for some. Can humans and aliens work together to build a better future? Or is it all doomed to end in bloodshed? One thing is for sure - for sixteen teenagers, this is going to be a dangerous week. AUTHOR'S NOTE: You don't have to know Alien Nation at all to read, understand or enjoy this fic!

Building a pack, one messed-up set of dynamics at a time. Post S2, slow-build Sterek, Stiles-centric, multiple POV fics. Jossed by early s3 Jeff Davis reveals and extending into a future fic. Bamf!Sheriff, magic!Stiles, ambiguous!Peter, and all the drama Beacon Hills can provide. Warnings for shifting and poly relationships, meta and all the literary and film nerdery that being around Stiles would involve. Also, general warnings for any and all characters undergoing: gore/medical trauma, PTSD, grief, angst, angst, angst (did I mention angst), pining, identity issues, sexuality crises, violence of magical and non-magical sources, homework from Harris, college applications (the HORROR) and general WTF IS MY LIFE kinds of reflections. Sunnydale Beacon Hills is like that.

"And remember: Star-Burns died for your sins." Wherein wishes become a[n almost] daily phenomenon, rules are broken and re-negotiated, and Greendale continues to evolve around shifting student-body relationships. This picks up immediately after 4x01, effectively an alternate Season 4 (and everything thereafter, for that matter). Expect occasional additions (e.g. the recent arrival of #11).

In which Abed and Troy learn how to be boyfriends and Britta moves in while they're not looking. Canon compliant through 4.10.

After two years on her own, and two more as a hunter with Sam and Dean Winchester, Leah thought she’d escaped her old life at La Push. But when she’s called home to attend Jacob and Renesmee’s wedding, she brings a little company, and the stage is set for her old and new lives to collide.

They're monsters, but what better to hunt a monster than another? A tale of two ANBU: otherwise known as the life and times of Hound, the Hokage's ever-loyal dog, aka Hatake Kakashi, and Owl, the hunter that flies on silent, deadly wings, aka Umino Iruka

He fights alone for what the rest of humanity has forgotten, and doesn't even know to ask.

Dorian is not returning to Tevinter, as such. He just happens to be the best person to pop over the border and chase down a few leftover Venatori, that's all. He'll be back to Skyhold in no time. Turns out the road to starting a revolution is paved with good intentions.

Tyrion knew, as he gazed up at the dark skinned Martell man that this was perhaps his only chance to spirit Sansa out of King's Landing and away from his father's greedy fingers. Tywin Lannister would have married the girl himself if he felt he could have gotten away with it, and so Tyrion knew his own marriage was no protection to Ned Stark's daughter whatsoever. "Invite her, demand her, steal her--whatever you choose, Prince Oberyn, choose it soon. Else my lady wife shall break into more pieces than the stars."

30 young sand sibling drabbles, wherein Temari is (sometimes) a lady, Kankurou doesn't play nice with the other kids, and Gaara is perhaps a little socially inept.

John, Sherlock, and Mary are married. No one knows. Except Molly. Who's helping Mary with a murder. While Sherlock proposes to Janine. Who's working for the guy who's blackmailing Mary and who Mary's planning to kill. Which neither John nor Sherlock know. What could go wrong?!

Shitty Knight takes a post-graduation road trip. Four friends, six thousand miles, two tents, several embarrassing photos, a giant rabbit, three cops, and a bear.

Yu Yu Hakusho: The Dead Girl Remix. With all your favorites, digitally remastered.

No one ever said that pirates fight fair, but if someone bites you in a fight then it's perfectly reasonable to bite them back. Sanji has to learn that life isn't fair and nothing else is either but that bad jokes and falling in love certainly makes unlife worth living. Zosan/Sanzo tw:blood and blood drinking

From the other end of the ship, panting as though he has run from the depths of his workshop, Usopp is the next to let out a scream: “Why is there a SHARK ON THE DECK!?”

You know how this is going to go.

On the government's classified mutant register—and on the NHL's records—Sidney is listed as Sidney Patrick Crosby, Nova Scotia, Canada: Class Two. Death visions, skin contact required.

In which Tsuna isn't Tsuna but Tsunako, and lived with her parents in Italy for a few years before circumstances made moving to Namimori seem advisable. And changes spiral out from there. For the prompt Xanxus/Tsuna - genderswap; "don't look down on me because I'm a woman."

Tsuna is not quite human, neither are his guardians. Magic and flames can have some odd interactions.

From the beginning, there was something odd about Namimori. In a world where every city had its own method of dealing with the bane of humanity that were ghouls, Namimori was the first place Reborn had ever been that felt safe to him. People were calm and unafraid on the streets, even after dark. It was remarkable and at first he thought it was due to the fact that Namimori's police force had some sort of foolproof guard against ghouls. But then he noticed the distinct lack of graveyards. By the time Reborn really understood what kept Namimori safe, it was too late to do anything about it. After all, the successor was being tutored, the guardians were chosen, and Xanxus was bearing down on them with half the Vongola rings and all of his wrath. All there was left to do was wait and see.

Tsuna and his guardians died in a blaze of glory. Then they woke up, slowly, one at a time, in a different world that was the same in all the ways that really mattered. Or the one where Tsuna and his guardians are reincarnated into the class below the Konoha rookie nine.

All men are not created equal. This is a simple truth Izuku has known ever since he was four, when he first realized what it meant to have a quirk like his; a quirk that forces him to consume human flesh to survive. When it seems like his poor mother can't live with the burden of raising something like him any longer he leaves, hoping to at least grant her the peaceful life she deserves. At the same time, Katsuki witnesses something that changes the way he sees himself forever. With the guilt of causing Izuku's 'death' constantly looming over him he continues to fight and claw his way to the top. It would be a lot easier if he didn't have this freak who reminds him so much of the kid he'd bullied into suicide constantly being shoved in his face. --- In which Izuku is a ghoul, Inko tries and fails to protect her son, Katsuki thinks he's a murderer, Shigaraki is creepy, and All Might tries his best. Tags will be updated as necessary.

Midoriya Izuku has always been written off as weird. As if it's not bad enough to be the quirkless weakling, he has to be the weird quirkless weakling on top of it. But truthfully, the "weird" part is the only part that's accurate. He's determined not to be a weakling, and in spite of what it says on paper, he's not actually quirkless. Even before meeting All-Might and taking on the power of One For All, Izuku isn't quirkless. Not that anyone would believe it if he told them.

Some demons and otherworldly creatures love climbing up the power ladder. Shane is not one of these. He likes where he is (thank you very much) and has no interest in moving up. All he wants is to give his friend Ryan a nice birthday gift. So, naturally, everything goes to hell.

"Hey there, ghosts," Midoriya says, "it's me, ya boy." The dorms are haunted. Shenanigans ensue.

Claire Dearing has successfully run Jurassic World for seven years without a major incident. Trust Owen Grady to fuck that up. (Or, three months prior to the Indominus Event, Vic Hoskins makes a bad decision, Owen Grady goes missing, and four six-foot, three hundred pound murder lizards escape into Claire's park. She can hear Alan Grant shouting, "I told you so!" from Montana.)

Claire's world has narrowed down to independent variables. The way the wind blows. The strength of the boar's smell. The willingness of the raptors to hunt, and not turn on her and shred her like wet paper. Things she can't control. She fucking hates field tests. (Or, role swap!AU. Claire trains raptors, Owen runs a theme park, and no one can decide if the plural of Indominus is indomini or indominuses.)

When the summoning of the Memory Demon reveals that it's not only Clary's memories that have been meddled with, Alec finds himself being pushed off the path set out for him and onto a different one.

Anders: So, there must be mages in Tevinter that don't use blood magic. Fenris: Of course. There are slaves. The magisters do not hesitate to collar their own kind. --- Or, the one where Danarius finds out about the blood magic ritual his long time enemy Halward Pavus is planning and things go even worse for Dorian.

So, I looked at the prompt that sparked Ex Cinere and suddenly had Inquisition-era dialogue coming out of my ears. Here, have some of that. Now includes some new material not seen on the kinkmeme. Seriece for Ex Cinere

AU in which the royal magic is gifted to retainers through a magical sex ritual. A lot less porny than the description makes it seem. More of a coming of age angst fest that delves into the meaning of consent and free choices.

Short fic about newly-crowned King Alistair coming to terms with being married to Anora, and vice versa.

In the wake of intracity warfare, Jiang Cheng finds himself engaged by proxy to Nie Huaisang in an effort to build ties between their sects. The fragile peace is short-lived, however, and with the strands of magic and the alliances that hold the city together fraying apart, Jiang Cheng must decide where he stands in order to save what he loves.

“I once heard a rumour that this is how Lan An and his cultivation partner did it,” Ma Qiao piped up. “Which, I mean, if anyone could…” “The Lans are far too boring and repressed for something like this,” Wei Wuxian said, with the authority of one who had been resoundingly ignored by a Lan for the past month. “Can you imagine Lan Wangji dual cultivating?” Everyone knows that dual cultivation is a myth that only works in porn. Wei Wuxian discovers differently.

Every student of House Mandrake is assigned a study partner, a counterpart from House Valerian. Lan Wangji suspects, with some outrage, that he's been given the troublemaker.

Wang Lingjiao takes her time mentioning the Wen Supervisory Offices. Yu Ziyuan cuts off Wei Wuxian's sword hand in compliance with the Wens' demands, but Lotus Pier still falls. Its children manage as well as they can.

It's been a reasonably quiet night thus far, enough so that Peter's well ahead of the game on his usual patrol route, nothing really pinging his radar until he reached this quiet strip of apartment buildings. Only now that he's here, he can't figure out where the danger's coming from, or even what his senses are classifying as danger this time. There's got to be something, though...right?

There was no way the old contract Jiang Cheng found arranging a marriage between the direct disciples of the Nie and Jiang sects was, as Jiang Cheng insisted, the way to solve the problem of the Yiling Patriarch - if only because there was no way the Nie sect would agree to it. Except - they did. And now they're coming to discuss terms. With Lan Wangji as the official chaperone.

Possibly some of these will become longer, but not yet. Currently featuring (among others): - child!Jin Ling gets himself kidnapped by a well-meaning Wen Ning - truth serum trope - Nie Huaisang steals the Ghost General - Nie sect adopts the Yiling Patriarch - a variety of arranged marriages - crossover (Leverage, Naruto, Legends of Tomorrow) - dragons dragons everywhere - unintentional black widow WWX - Jiang Cheng is thrown into the burial mounds - NHS wields a fan as a weapon - JC interferes with the events on the Qiongqi Path - Lan Sizhui is Wen Ruohan's son and meets him unknowingly - WWX is named chief cultivator - Jiang Yanli's spirit responds to Lan Wangji's constant playing of Inquiry - WWX & LWJ locked away behind the Wall - LWJ stays in the burial mounds but it affects him - JC does impossible things

Figuring out that the second daughter of the Jiang clan was, in fact, their son and heir - if you look at it by Qinghe standards - when no one else in Yunmeng had yet figured it out caused Nie Mingjue enough of a headache, and it must have given him a bit of a reputation for sticking his nose into other people's business. That must be the reason that Jiang Cheng would come to him of all people after the fall of the Lotus Pier, hand a little too low down on his stomach for the problem to be food poisoning, to ask for advice - or maybe it was only that he had nobody else to turn to.

It happened like this: Jin Ling was a sect leader now, which was, and Jingyi really meant this, fucking hilarious. There were few things funnier, in his honest opinion. Because he was young, and inexperienced, and also — it had to be said — a real shithead, there was apparently some belief amongst his advisors that the best way forward, to promote the picture of a stable, mature sect leader who absolutely did not cry at the drop of a hat, was for Jin Ling to get married. - OR: Jin Ling and Jingyi get engaged. Things spiral from there.

Ding Rong shakes his head. He opens his mouth and closes it. It would be inappropriate to- “Ask. Whatever you want to know, just ask.” Wang Zhi says, his breath fanning over the vulnerable underside of Ding Rong’s wrist. “How are you-” not dead. Ding Rong chastises himself for being crass. “still alive?” Ding Rong did not ever expect that Wang Zhi is an alpha.

When the massacre of the Tusken Raider village is uncovered, Anakin is recalled to Coruscant to face the Council's inquiry into his actions. Agen Kolar takes his place leading the 501st in a treacherous assault on forces trying to conquer Champala, but no one is happy with Anakin's sudden removal, his padawan and Torrent Company least of all. With little support in a campaign that's rapidly spiraling out of control and strange happenings starting to plague the battalion, Agen is in over his head, and Champala's oceans are more than deep enough to drown them all at the first misstep.

Wen Kexing stumbles upon the fact that Han Ying apparently ruins every one of his orgasms - because it would be *disrespectful* otherwise. He's not about to ignore *that*, now is he.

It doesn’t occur to him to ask what helping would entail until Mikey gives him a sideways look. “Don’t think it’s the kind of help you should ask your brother for,” he says. “But thanks.” Gerard tries to think of something he wouldn’t help Mikey do, but there’s nothing. He’d drive a getaway car, bury a body, even give him bone marrow, and he’s seen the needles they use to get at that shit. “There’s no such thing,” he says. Mikey shrugs, picks up an ad for lipstick and starts tearing around the edge of the logo. “It’s kind of a sex thing,” he mumbles.

As if Sheriff Stilinski doesn't have enough to deal with, now he's been attacked by some enormous dog in the forest, and that's normal compared to what happens next... Re-telling of seasons 1-3B with Sheriff Stilinski being bitten instead of Scott.

RainyForecast)

Magnitogorsk doesn’t hold much for him. He stares down the barrel of his future there: toiling away at a factory job, living and dying streets away from where he was born. He rubs the water-smoothed stone in his pocket, and thinks of the thunder of the waves. He knows that staying here will kill some essential part of himself. And so, he leaves. For PatriciaKoiFish, I hope very much that you like it :)