It really shouldn't be any surprise to anyone that Geno Malkin decides to visit Jurassic World to see the dinosaurs (after all, there's a reason there's an entire tumblr dedicated to pictures of him with animals). But when things go wrong and Geno ends up stranded, it's up to Sidney Crosby to put together a team to rescue his boyfri--er, teammate.

Jensen couldn't decide whether he was having the best week ever, or the worst.

"The only positive relationship this animal has is with that crane." That's not entirely accurate. How do they clean the Indominus Rex enclosure? A joke concept turned tragic, in two acts.

Claire's world has narrowed down to independent variables. The way the wind blows. The strength of the boar's smell. The willingness of the raptors to hunt, and not turn on her and shred her like wet paper. Things she can't control. She fucking hates field tests. (Or, role swap!AU. Claire trains raptors, Owen runs a theme park, and no one can decide if the plural of Indominus is indomini or indominuses.)

Claire Dearing has successfully run Jurassic World for seven years without a major incident. Trust Owen Grady to fuck that up. (Or, three months prior to the Indominus Event, Vic Hoskins makes a bad decision, Owen Grady goes missing, and four six-foot, three hundred pound murder lizards escape into Claire's park. She can hear Alan Grant shouting, "I told you so!" from Montana.)