Harry is rescued at eight from his abusive uncle by five teen soldiers who've just won their own war. Under their tutelage, Harry comes to Hogwarts with skills the Wizarding world doesn't expect and brothers who won't let Harry go without a fight.

As good as you get: "The problem was, really, Kris Allen was a tease." If You Can't See Where It Keeps Its Brain: "The Sorting Hat has its own agenda." I Woke Up In Love This Morning: He was hazy, half-asleep and incredibly comfortable and still half-lost in the most amazing dream. Five Reasons Xander Harris Hates Pete Wentz: If the Bandom'verse and the Buffy'verse all occupied the same 'verse, this is exactly what would have happened. red, red, gold: "Her name is Tasha Stark, and you won’t break her."

Slytherin Tony and Ravenclaw Bruce are assigned to be Potions lab partners in 7th year. They just want to win Slughorn's prize, but things get very strange, very quickly. And Tom Riddle sucks.

Jess’s dad is the one who first put her on a broom, so long ago she can barely remember it. She must have loved it then, she knows, because she’s loved it every time since. There’s nothing like the feel of the wind screaming in your ears when you’re up in the air, you and your broom slicing the sky like a dart, the chill slapping color into your cheeks. Nothing like it.

"'4 and 14 adopt a newborn baby together. What do they name it, how do they raise it, etc, etc. Do they eventually get it siblings? Do they ditch it in a dumpster on prom night because its not as fun as they thought?' THIS IS QUITE LITERALLY THE WEIRDEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN. And yet, I am oddly charmed by it."

concept: willy wonka and harry potter take place in the same universe the ministry of magic haaaates Willy Wonka