He blacks out, or something, because the next thing Varric knows he’s at his desk with Bran standing over him with a pinched look on his face. “I got a kid.” Bran’s face somehow pinches further. “Like, from a store?” Varric whacks his head against his desk. in which varric's saddled with a kid, and hawke tries not to get too attached

Zevran has trust issues, self-worth issues, and general issues. Alistair helps. When he's not making it worse. Or: Giving someone a ring is supposed to be a symbol of deep commitment. A symbol, dammit. Or: Clearly Brosca isn't a Tolkien fan; otherwise, she would know that rings found in questionable cave systems make terrible gifts.