Vampires Will Never Hurt You: Gerard clenches his fists tighter. "It's a disease," he says defensively. You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart...: Frank has high school figured out. His mom has given up arguing about the amount of time he spends in Gerard's basement, and he doesn't actually care if people think it's weird that he and Gerard hold hands in the hallways and go to the bathroom together. The only thing Frank cares about is figuring out why Gerard's suddenly avoiding him -- because what's the point of losing your virginity on Prom Night if you can't tell your best friend about it in the morning?

I was saying something on Twitter about how much easier it is to write really dirty-hot fic when Adam Lambert is involved, because while, eg, fanon!Ryan Ross may think he's a sex god, fanon!Adam actually is. ... and then someone said something about Adam/RyRo, and this happened.

Frank's a vampire, and he's finally ready to let the world know.

Gerard's fat fucking birds have fat fucking asses.

"Check it out, I think you've found a nerd soulmate," Mark whispers loudly, especially for a dude who was home-schooled and likes to bird watch. But Chris obligingly looks across the aisle to the opposing gate and holy crap- there's a Yoda backpack leaning up against the leg of a skinny redhead.

"A work of art goes through many phases of development, but in each phase it is always a work of art." Four drawings of Gerard's that Ray kept, and one he didn't need to.

"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma." (Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)

"Canadian Tire reported the most important piece of sports journalism of the decade when they tracked down the guy who clearly spent his adolescence gently boning Jonathan Toews in a shack next to Lake Winnipeg, and that’s still not as great a story as the one I’m about to tell you about Eric Bittle and Jack Zimmermann.

What do you get for the girl who already has everything and really doesn't want to marry you? A kidnapping, apparently. No, that doesn't actually make any sense, but as The Iron Bull is about to find out, Dorian Pavus and Livia Herathinos don't appear to actually consider themselves bound by the rules of common sense. Isabela just can't believe someone's actually paying her for this. Lucky!