Sakura spends a year in Narnia. Susan watches, and does her best to help.

The wilds of Sound Country are the next best thing to the middle of nowhere. Travelers are few and far between. Unexpected meetings are thus narratively inevitable.

Hatake Kakashi was a shinobi, and as a shinobi, the only people who could give him orders were his military superiors. The idea that a Council made up of civilians and peers was under the impression they could give him orders...displeased him. Or: He was ordered to pass Team 7. He was fine with that, until they actually passed.

Makiguchi Katashi, personal guard to the Godaime Kazekage, woke up five years before the failed invasion that changed everything for Suna. Unsure if he was trapped in a genjutsu (they'd been fighting crazy Sharingan wielders after all), he went through his day per usual before realizing one thing. His best friend was killed by his then-yet-now crazy Kage today. So genjutsu or not, he had to try. He failed, but that was okay. Because his then-not-now crazy Kage had woken up disoriented too. And it wasn't a genjutsu.

Ten facts about three Hogwarts students.

Eight-year-old Sasuke is a broken soul. Eight-year-old Naruto is a hated demon-carrier. Eight-year-old Sakura is a bright girl whose parents are killed unexpectedly in a house fire. They meet as three orphans desperate to become the strongest of ninja and in the process find a new family.

Thirty year old Kakashi was supposed to have been killed by Pein during the Invasion. Instead, he wakes up in the body of his twenty year old self. (It gets a lot more complicated.)

Naruto has a secret. So does Sasuke. And Sakura. Just how were the genin teams picked again?

“Oh,” she says, white hands clenched into tight fists. “I’m-- I was your student. Haruno Sakura.” Kakashi tilts his head, gray eye analyzing her carefully for tells. He finds nothing. “I’ve never seen you before in my life,” he says flatly. (Kakashi wakes up fourteen years old.)

"...any of your parent’s friends have any kids of less than, say, six years of age?" "No, not that I know of." "Huh-huh.” A suspicion suddenly crystallized in Tsunade’s mind. Between her fingers, her punch glass started to crack.

"Once upon a time in Fire Country, O my Best Beloved, three Ninjas went on a D-rank mission to retrieve a Cat..." A tale in the style of Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories. Very silly.

Team 8 in a quiet moment during the timeskip, with lots of speculation about the origin and nature of the Aburame clan's bond with their kikkai. Fluffy enough to rot your teeth.

A musing on the social and legal construction of childhood in hidden villages. Downbeat and philosophical.

Sakura at work, because damn it, medic-nin should be scary to fight.

The Narutostuck world is a fusion wherein I have jammed Homestuck characters into the Naruto universe and am pretending they were always there. Basically the Land of Space (Uchuu no Kuni) lies to the west of the Land of Wind (Kaze no Kuni), separated by a great desert; its capitol is the village of Hidden Time (Kouingakure no Sato). For the past century or two, it has been ruled by the Condesce and engaged in an endless war of conquest on the continent across the western sea; recently, however, a rebellion led by the Sufferer succeeded in overthrowing her and establishing a new social order in which discrimination against humans and discrimination by blood caste are officially outlawed. Meanwhile, over in the Elemental Countries, the plot of Naruto has reached some sort of good-guys-win conclusion. Now the people on both sides of the desert are tentatively trying to establish some kind of normal diplomatic and trade relations... but the Condesce and her chief supporters were never caught, and are still seeking to restore their rule.

Naruto isn’t the only one in the village to earn the title “monster”. At the age of six, he meets a collared Orochimaru and makes a most unlikely ally.

Prompt: Anonymous said: I wish you would write fic where Kakashi is not the only Hatake around

According to the Bingo Book, Hatake Kakashi has two dæmons.

Konoha is an experience, and that’s just about the politest way Ine can phrase it.

Tobirama comes to on a field heavy with the scent of blood, to a rout of shinobi in unfamiliar uniforms but sporting familiar hitai-ate. There's a whisper in his head, paradise denied, but death is in front of him and he can't waste time on regrets.

Kurama just wants to finish his nap in peace. A particularly idiotic human is making that rather hard.

Inuzuri, 78th District of the Rukongai, is dry, featureless, and hot, filled with thieves and murderers. It's probably just about the closest someone can get to Purgatory while still keeping to Soul Society. Fitting, Obito thinks wryly, that this is where he woke up.

Patience, Sakura decides, is for people who aren't holding lives in the space between their mind and their fingers.

Sasuke Uchiha is cheerful, forever smiling, and deadly with a sword in hand. Team 7 is cohesive, capable, and formidable apart but unbeatable when together. This world is better for all of it. [OR: Takeshi and Sasuke are one and the same. Mafioso and shinobi aren't so different, after all.]

When Gokudera died, taking a bullet for Tsuna, he expected to go to hell. Not wake up as a pink haired girly-boy in a world full of ninja. How's he meant to be the Jyuudaime's right hand in a world that doesn't even have a mafia? Clearly, he'll have to clean this place up before Tsuna gets here. REINCARNATION, Gokudera-as-m!Sakura.

His sister had helped him dye his hair before he started the academy, early enough that the scent wouldn’t register with any Inuzuka students. His mother had gone to the store and let him pick out what shade of nondescript brown he wanted. He’d chosen a brown almost identical to the great Fire Beeches that towered over their home, he’d love how tall and sturdy they were. How dependable those trees were.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

It’s Tōka who finds him, even though he doesn’t want to be found.

In a world where Fugaku has three sons, he wishes he'd stopped at the one. There's nothing wrong with the youngest, it's just... The middle child.

Originally, Gaara thought the plan - brought to him by a desperate and shaken Naruto on the last holding place of the world's few remaining shinobi - was both insane and impossible. No one ever accused Gaara of being sane, nor sensible, so he agreed anyway. He hadn't really expected it to work.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

Obito gets lost on the way back to the afterlife.

There's a monster whispering in Minato's head, curled around his soul. It’s vast and hungry and full of fury, radiates it and basks in it and lets it spill over through the bars that cage it. If Minato had one ounce more energy, he would rage too, but— Anger is a luxury right now, an indulgence. He can't afford it.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: de-aged oro???? he was such a cute kid and i can just see everybody going wtf.

In which Minato is a Sky, Obito is his Guardian, and everything gets fucked beyond measure.

Kakashi is being trolled. He doesn’t know how that can be, but he knows with utmost certainty that he’s being trolled somehow. OR Kakashi gets saddled with the cheekiest little brats ever and wonders if it's too late to become a missing nin.

Obito turns himself into the Whomping Willow. It goes great, right up until people start making a nuisance of themselves under his roots.

While everyone in Suna concerns themselves with Gaara, terrified that the One-Tail might break free and rampage through their Village, they forget a few key facts. First, that just because Shukaku is the largest demon in Suna does not make the Bijuu the only demon in Wind Country, or even the only demon sealed away in Hidden Sand. Second, that Raza has two elder children that are just as capable of ushering in Suna's doom as their youngest sibling is. Third, Kankurou is the overlooked middle child who just wants to play with his baby brother. Remember these facts. They're important. Especially the third one.

In which all of team seven are poster children for unhealthy relationships with their daemons. Except for Sasuke, who is fully in touch with his inner and outer daemons.

Itachi was a good looking troubled teenager left to wander the country unsupervised in the company of a group of insane criminals. He may have made a few questionable decisions involving alcohol and women. It is also worth noting that no-one actually got around to explaining the use of a condom to him. The results are depressingly predictable. Or the one where Itachi missed shinobi sex ed and ended up creating spawn across half the elemental nations, which Sasuke somehow ends up responsible for.

Sasuke has a moment of inattention, and the fake hunter nin strikes down Naruto instead.

When Uzumaki Naruto breathed his last, he didn’t expect to wake up in the world of the living again. He was old, and tired, and so, so ready to move on. And, well...he wanted to see his wife again, dammit. But, of course, that wasn't what happened. Why? Naruto screamed at the powers-that-loved-to-fuck-with-his-life-and-now-his-afterlife-too, with tears streaking down his cheeks, feeling cold, weak, hungry, and utterly disgusted. Because you’re everybody’s bitch, Kurama helpfully supplied.

“There’s a Lantern out here?” Hal asks incredulously.

Art for Asuka Kureru's "Days On A Wire", second in her ABO series "Cherry Wine". (She got me right in the special interest, how dare. :D )

Team Seven excels at two things: lying and long term planning. Kakashi wishes someone had told him that.

Who knew some dimensions had actual child labour laws? In which Kakashi is reborn, the Hero Commission doesn’t put all their eggs in one Hawks shaped basket and Shouta isn't getting paid enough to deal with this shit. Otherwise known as Kakashi in 1A.