Dirk Strider was one of the most promising candidates for the Pan Pacific Defense Corps that anyone had ever seen. He had the drive, the skills, and that self-destruct instinct that everyone knew was looked for in a Jaeger, but which no one talked about. There was just one problem with him. Of the hundreds tested, not one single person was drift compatible with him. Not one person could match him, could mesh with him. No one measured up to his excruciating standards. So he built one.

Dragging a ten ton vault around on a giant tether was one thing; fighting alien hell beasts from another dimension was something he still didn’t think they were completely qualified for.

"Bits, you live tweeting this?" Shitty asks.

The Aegis swings by Earth with a request of Her Royal Highness every once in a while.

A crush, a dog, a kiss, and hope for a lifetime.

15 texts that were never sent in Westeros.

What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in? Petunia was jealous, selfish and vicious. We will not pretend she wasn’t. She looked at that boy on her doorstep and thought about her Dudders, barely a month older than this boy. She looked at his eyes and her stomach turned over and over. (Severus Snape saved Harry’s life for his eyes. Let’s have Petunia save it despite them). Let’s tell a story where Petunia Dursley found a baby boy on her doorstep and hated his eyes—she hated them. She took him in and fed him and changed him and got him his shots, and she hated his eyes up until the day she looked at the boy and saw her nephew, not her sister’s shadow. When Harry was two and Vernon Dursley bought Dudley a toy car and Harry a fast food meal with a toy with parts he could choke on Petunia packed her things and got a divorce.

Everyone's born with their soulmate's first words to them written on their skin, and that should make things easy, but it really doesn't. "Roy has alternatively despised his mark and clung to it like a lifeline. Colonel. Just one word, right at the back of his foot. His literal Achilles’ heel."

It was not, strictly speaking, Jake’s fault that he ended up in jail.

When Carlos is fifteen, his mother, father and three sisters sit him down in the living room and explain to him that they support gay rights... Or, the story of how Carlos got his groove.

The one where Jensen's locked in a cage, Roque is a sucker for the furry, Pooch risks his fingers, Cougar's concussed, and Clay is putting his foot down, damn it.

“Ith not,” you stutter, glaring at your hands. “M’ Noth a-a freak,” you squint at your shaking fingers, trying to make a spark, to catch a glimpse of either red or blue. There’s nothing.

When Taylor is old enough, her dad starts making noises about getting her a bond. He's apparently found someone who is willing to "discreetly" get her an asymmetrical bond and forge reciprocal paperwork for it. When Taylor mentions it to Sid, too excited to pull off sounding anything but, he lets slip a plaintive "No."

"Why don’t you ever let me see it? If you have the name already, why can’t you tell me whose it is? I thought we were best friends." Everyone gets their Name when they turn twenty-one. It isn’t their own name either. It’s the name of their Soulmate. When Wade Wilson wakes on his twenty-first birthday, he looks down at his chest and sees Peter Benjamin Parker. He stares for a moment then shrugs, gets dressed, and doesn’t think about it for another six weeks.

Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

For a prompt on my Tumblr: TOS!Sannin. Tsunade McCoy the grumpy, compassionate alcoholic with a heart of gold, Jiraiya Kirk the cocky and intelligent leader and womaniser, and finally, S'chan T'gai Orochimaru, the 'non-emotional' genius scientist with a not-so-hidden soft, gooey emotional centre.

Hundreds of years from now, historians will never know what her captain was thinking, when he brought Enies Lobby to its knees with a declaration of war, when he attacked a Celestial Dragon on an island in an archipelago, and she won't be there to explain, "it was for a friend, you see?" (In which Nami comes to understand that the world will never understand Luffy.)

in·a·ni·tion, noun; lack of mental or spiritual vigor and enthusiasm; exhaustion caused by lack of nourishment. (In which Luffy's metabolism is faster than his doctor understands.)

“I may have made some hats,” Jason says in a rush, “and, um, possibly some capelets. And booties. And — aw, c’mon, don’t look at me like that, Croissant gets really fricking cold and Taco loves to run around in the park, I had to make stuff to keep her warm —”

GEEK CHORUS Holy shit. These guys are great. MACIEJ Singular! It's just little ol' me over here. GEEK CHORUS This dude is like Tom Hardy. He can't possibly be real. Maybe we should try this Pinboard thing out. LONGTIME PINBOARD USERS What's this? People are bookmarking fanfic on our website? Whatever will we do? MACIEJ I dunno guys, maybe try "/search/?query=bigboypanties+&mine"?

Break all the bones you want, he wishes he could say, if he could speak without giving into the urge to scream. He hopes his expression is venomous enough to get the point across anyway, to this stupid man who thinks any Straw Hat Pirate would betray their infamous captain.

Hibari Kyouya travels in time and takes over the world. Basically crack.

An AU oneshot based off of my fic "An Invincible Summer" The Massacre was prevented, and some things stay the same, but a lot of things are different. Mostly that Natsu ends up with a different Uchiha.

Five snapshots of the accidental friendship of Nie Huaisang and Wen Ning, following the resurrection of the Yiling Patriarch and the ensuing events.

The Lotus Pier always loved the bright spirits of the world, the free and unrestrained; she held them cupped in her hand like birds, ready to fly away, to go where their whim takes them, to return because they loved her. Her cultivators reflected that, shining bright, standing against the world and attempting the impossible. But they were only humans, their lives short and too easily cut shorter; when the invading armies came to the Pier, she tried her best to help her people – help them fight, help them flee – but the enemy was already invited inside her gates. There was nothing she could do. (and then she woke up again)

Everyone has their own theories about how Jiang Cheng, of all unlikely people, got the opportunity to become a god. They're all wrong. It started with a kind act - and a story.

"You can't seriously be suggesting that we elect Sect Leader Yao to be Chief Cultivator!" “I don’t see the problem,” Nie Mingjue said, heroically maintaining a straight face despite the slightest curve in his eyes that indicated a man who knew exactly what the problem with his suggestion was. “According to all the stories I’ve heard him tell, Sect Leader Yao has been at the forefront of every action in the past few years, large or small - no matter where or how implausibly quickly he must have traveled to get there.”

Lan Xichen wished that people in Qinghe weren't so notoriously reluctant to share personal information. It was one thing not to know exactly how old someone was, or what their given name was, but entirely another thing to belatedly find out that there was a new baby in the family.

As a result of his newfound cultivation, Wei Wuxian was having trouble sleeping - and then he realizes that he sleeps just fine during war council meetings. What could possibly be the cause? The only thing that seems to be in common is the presence of one Sect Leader Nie... And so Project "Sleep with Nie Mingjue" is born! (shut up, Jiang Cheng, the name is fine - who could possibly misunderstand?)

“Something happened at the Lotus Pier.” “Oh? What does Fengmian have to say?” “Nothing,” Wei Changze said, and that’s when Cangse Sanren noticed that her husband was an unhealthy shade of pale. “He’s – he’s dead.” “What?” She snatched the letter away from him. “What – him and Yu Ziyuan both? Impossible! They’re – they’re sect leaders. Of a Great Sect! What happened?”

Cloud Recesses, Gusu, age 15 “You don’t think they’re really going to make us wake up at mao hour?” Wei Wuxian whined. “Or sleep by the end of xu hour?” “They’re not going to make us do anything,” Jiang Cheng groaned. “It’s just that activities will be ongoing when they’re awake, so if you miss them all by sleeping until si hour, that’s your problem. It’s not like we made them do anything when they were visiting us at the Lotus Pier…” “What are you talking about?” Nie Huaisang wanted to know. “You all most certainly made poor Lan-xiong stay up past his bedtime when he was visiting the Lotus Pier – and the same for the rest of us, too!” Wei Wuxian, who had led most of the forcing-to-stay-up-late nonsense, coughed. “Yes, well…speaking of Lan Zhan, do you think he’ll be happy to see me?” “No,” both Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang chorused.

Madame Yu has always been irredeemably stubborn. You think a little thing like being taken captive by the Wen sect after they invaded her home, destroyed her husband's golden core, and sent her children fleeing to the winds is going to stop her?

Legend said that those who died of anger could die with their last breath trapped in their throat, their consciousness trapped within their bodies by their own resentment, and that if one wasn't careful with their bodies, they might rise again. Nie Huaisang had long ago given up all hope of getting his brother back. Revenge had been all that had been left to him… Or so he’d thought.

In a moment of lightheartedness, Lan Xichen proposes to Nie Mingjue that they go dare the dangerous Burial Mounds to see what the Yiling Patriarch is really doing there, and so judge for themselves whether Lan Wangji's unauthorized visit there was in fact a breach of the rules or not. What they find there - isn't what they expected.

In order to get married, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang have to follow the traditions handed down by their respective ancestors. It's only that those traditions are so damn weird, is all.

Nie Mingjue took one look at the ash-faced girl on the streets of Lanling, caught her by the shoulder and said, “Aren’t you that Wen Qing? I used to see you at discussion conferences – what are you doing here?” Nothing is ever the same again.

“Would you fuck off already?” Bakugou’s voice rang out over the sounds of the party, prompting several members of 1A to look over in concern. Izuku bit his lip and joined them, peering around Uraraka’s shoulder where she sat beside him on the couch. Iida frowned and stood, ready to step in before Bakugou could start a fight. “Hey, man, no need to yell, we were just—” “You were just being a fucking creep. She’s obviously not fucking interested, jackass.” Izuku blinked

“Andrew doesn't love me,” Neil said simply, “So if he has a love language, I don't know it.” “Oh, honey.” Allison drawled, “You don't actually believe him when he says he hates you, do you?”

“I bet the monster will come alone again this year,” he says, his voice scratchy like the sound of a blender in the early hours of the morning. Aaron stiffens beside his brother, shoulders creeping up to his ears before he opens his eyes. He turns to Seth with a sneer. In seconds, Aaron had gone from asleep to fully awake, an anger simmering under the surface of his skin, water boiling over. “I’ll take that bet,” Aaron says, face a blank slate, anger cooling behind his eyes. If this were still college, Aaron would’ve let anger take over, let fists fly. With age, Aaron had learned that there are crueler things than violence. “Five hundred bucks,” Seth replies, eyes sparkling in amusement. He’s got the face of someone who thinks they’ve won. “A thousand,” Aaron counters. Andrew’s eyebrow twitches up imperceptibly, a feeling like a laugh bubbling up his throat. __ In which Neil and Andrew are secretly married.