Set post “Not Fade Away.” Spike and Angel have Shanshu’d and Giles brings together ‘The Men Behind the Slayers’ for a retreat.

Sometimes, Loki just doesn't think some of his plans through as much as he should. For example: He overhears one Tony Stark mentioning the thought of having kids terrifies him. Most people would think seducing Tony for the sole purpose of getting pregnant with his kid just for the Lolz would be going too far. Turns out, Tony is only terrified at first... once he gets used to the idea though... His fantastic awesome prank now backfired in his face, Loki wants to go pout (and maybe raise the little hellspawn a Loki/Tony combination is sure to be) and be miserable. Now, Tony has to seduce his Baby Mama to come back so they can raise their hellspawn together/in shared custody/not to be a evil magic-using, super genius (Good magic-using, super genius is fine though.) Bonus Points for Thor trying to get a shotgun wedding going.

Oshie really wants Kaner to measure Jonny's dick.

Cards Against Humanity is not a good game to play with the Avengers, just not for the reasons that Clint was expecting.

Naruto has a secret. So does Sasuke. And Sakura. Just how were the genin teams picked again?

In which Cole isn't a desire demon, but thinks it might help if he was.

Tobirama comes down to breakfast on the first day of classes to find the Great Hall full of snickering, his husband conspicuously absent, and his brother face-down in his eggs.

For an anon prompt on my Tumblr that I kind of hijacked: gai/obito tho, kakashi's utterly terrified of the two ever coming together. "I've met Gai, Kakashi, and guess what? I'm going /to befriend him/." "You wouldn't DARE, Obito." "Oh, I would. We're going to be best friends." Obito and Gai hit it off instantly, and it all goes downhill from there. Kakashi finds them making out once and it's so horrible. He's never going to get that image out of his mind.

A what if, of a what if... What if the Vongola Tenth Generation were to be raised by Uchiha Madara and Senju Tobirama? Well, for one thing they don't even bother with pretending to be nice people. For another, Madara is born into the Hibari family. Yes. Madara. Also yes. Those Hibari.

MSNBC Breaking News: Heir to Stark Fortune Snubs Merger with Billionaire Walder Frey; Frey Retaliates with Vicious Attack on Twitter.

Shen Qingqiu's /r/relationships post.

Alex Ovechkin talks dirty to Sidney Crosby, and then gives Zhenya some much-needed advice. Because he’s a nice guy like that.

Having babies gives you dad power. Dad power helps put hockey teams on the road to Sir Stanley. Sid sired a herd of little Penguins before Pittsburgh won its Cup. Toews might as well be running a Blackhawks baby factory. Now it's Ovi's turn. If only someone had told him that impregnating your fuckbuddy might make things a little weird.

“I’ll destroy a man for you,” he says breathlessly. Todoroki looks vaguely amused. “Good to know.” Midoriya passes the mug to Momo’s hands and then reaches up to put his hands on Todoroki’s cheeks so he can bring him down to eye-level. “No, listen. I will destroy a man for you.” Todoroki blinks at him, looking a little startled. “I have a seven year plan,” Midoriya elaborates terrifyingly. “O-kay?” he says throught his smushed cheeks. “Fuck Endeavor,” Midoriya says empathically. (Or: Midoriya has absolutely no filter when he's sleep deprived. That's it. That's the fic.)

"Timmers sucked me pregnant," Jason blurts, and Tim watches in morbid fascination as Bruce goes through the five stages of grief in a millisecond. "I thought you said you weren't… sleeping together," Bruce says reproachfully. "He means that I, uh, impregnated him with my teeth. When I drank his blood. No sex involved," Tim explains. "It was an accident. I didn't even know I could do that."

Darcy thinks maybe her new intern is a slut. Like–a big one. Big ol’ slut. Both metaphorically and literally, since he's 6’3” of Kansas beefcake and maybe the literal only human being alive who has a build remotely comparable to Thor's. So like, a billion steroids or secretly an alien, Darcy’s assuming.