For the sake of his pride, Jiraiya's going to imagine that his double went out in the bed of some voracious and lusty twins—no, make that triplets, with everyone wildly satisfied and a smile on his face. The whole alternate universe thing is easier to swallow that way.

Obito snatches up the abandoned bottle, jogs three steps, and hurls it with all the force he can manage at the back of the white-haired litterer’s head, snarling, “Hey, asshole! It’s called recycling!”

“Oh my god, Obito, I don’t care that you keep turning our roommates into mindless zombies devoted to serving your will, but in the name of everything holy, at least stop putting them in thrall when you're singing Taylor Swift songs in the shower.”

An alternate Naruto ending, in which there are ghosts with a plan, teams reunited, apologies, and happy endings all around.

In which Tobirama is sort of Obi-Wan, Madara is Anakin but not quite, and Obito and Kakashi don’t quite fit the roles of Asajj Ventress and Luke Skywalker but try their best regardless.

Crown Prince Obito elopes with the blacksmith’s son. Madara hardly expects his day to get worse from there, but he forgot to factor in his ridiculous brother, his nephew’s cunning, and the return of a distractingly attractive sea god he’d really rather remain in his past. There's only one direction for things to go from there, and it’s definitely not up.

Obito glances over Sakura, sprawled out on the couch painting her nails, and raises a brow. “I thought Kakashi told you to leave?” “Ha.” Sakura checks her nails, then starts applying another coat. “He has like three hundred sports channels. I'm not moving an inch.”

“What is that,” Obito says flatly. “It is a cactus,” Gaara says, like that’s the only question here. Deftly, with an air of ceremony, he sets the pot in Obito's hands, and then tells him, “It reminded me of you.”

Obito meets a version of himself from another world. And another, and another, and another.

Fighting all on the same side at last, the past and present members of Konoha's famous Team Seven came within a hairsbreadth of victory in the battle against Kaguya. Kakashi and Obito sacrificed everything they had and more to snatch one last miracle survival from the jaws of defeat. Cast adrift in the Warring Clans Era without the guidance of their sensei, Team Seven vows to avenge their teacher. Zetsu's plots would be unravelled, and Kaguya's ambitions would be ground into dust. Team Seven had a vendetta, and the Will of Fire. Spite was a perfectly acceptable motivation for saving the world.