“Mr. Malfoy is the only one who’s ever actually seen any of us and quite honestly, I doubt he’d recognize us out of robes anyway. The others are just looking for two boys and a girl, all wizards in training. If you and I keep Ron quiet, we can pass as Muggle girls."

Katy looked at him, and that was one of the best things about Katy - she got him, even when what she was getting wasn't something she'd ever gotten from him before. She saw Kris going out of his skin and turned to Adam and said, "Do you think we could go out with you?" She got him even when he didn't get himself.

Now let us take a moment to imagine Adam Lambert meeting Gerard Way -- HOSHIT, IN DRAG.

“I just have to know,” Kurt says. “What possessed you to wear an incredibly ugly dress to a high school that sells slushies in the cafeteria for 99¢?”

So, Iron Man apparently needed better surge protection in his suit.

"Okay..." Suddenly her mouth dropped open. She turned. "You're having an affair with Tony Stark," she said, and it wasn't a question.

Her parents congratulated Toph on learning to read, but said that as much as they admired her newfound ability to write they'd rather she didn't bend "Toph Bei Fong was here" into *all* the decorative boulders.

Okay, so there was a little scenario with the guards.

The Full Metal Alchemist, of course, accepted his assignment with all the gravity due his station.

Pretty much everything gets tossed into the metamorphical back room of a facility like Delta Vega.

Anyway, [info]vickita said something a couple of weeks back that made me think, "Ah yes, Eliot, the little black dress of Leverage fandom." and sure enough, there's fic out there pairing Eliot with pretty much everyone. So, in a way, this is her fault...

"The Gerudo are the only ones with any kind of information about the Spirit Temple, Navi," he whispered back. "We need clues on where to find it. I couldn't make it over here as a child, you know that. This is all new territory."

A conversation about their personal habits leads Souji to prove to the team that he's just as capable of being dirty as they are.

Tony, Bruce and JARVIS, and the difference between people, weapons and slaves.

One of the earliest truths learned by the children of heroes is the simple, universally accepted fact that Thor tells the best stories.

Peggy and Bucky get to grips with certain thoughts Bucky's been entertaining with regards to Steve and Tony. Part of Olympics 'Verse.

There are certain expectations in troll society about taking in a freeloader with no place to go, as Dad Egbert finds out when he offers to host two of his son's stranded friends post-game.

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:45 -- GG: hey john, i thought you were going to bed early! EB: nd she kissed him full on the mouth with lots of to EB: GAH GG: :O ??? EB: damn it jade, you and your ninja windows! pretend you didn't see anything okay.

Your moirail is something of a shambling disaster -- his hair is a tangled, frizzy mess, his clothes are tattered at the hems and grimy, and he could stand a wash or five himself. But it isn't, you've realized, that Gamzee doesn't want to care for himself, it's more that he doesn't know how to take care of himself well. You're not sure why, since he had access to the same schoolfeeding as everyone else, but maybe it was because he was alone too much for so long. Maybe it's hard to care, or know to care, when there's no one to fuss over you.

“John, when you were eleven you didn’t even know what sex was. If you did, you would not have clicked on that link for two girls one cup. Twice.” This is the straightest most bro-est make out session that ever happened. Not even a little bit of it is gay. Nope.

John discovers a new and MUCH more entertaining way to fill his prankster's gambit.

"They just watch," John says, kicking the mop bucket into the broom closet after a hard day's asteroid-cleaning. "I guess chores are like a spectator sport for trolls? It's pretty weird! But... that's trolls for you!"

Teasing can be frustrating, but it will all be worth it in the end - right?

John starts to love it when Dave talks with his hands.

CG: I'VE SPENT ALL AFTERMIDNIGHT PACING UP AND DOWN MY NEW BLOCK IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR. THE ONLY REASON I HAVEN'T YET PACED MY WAY TROUGH THE WHOLE SHIP IS THAT IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE FUCKING ERIDAN. CG: WHADDYA THINK OF A CAPE? DOUCHEY, RIGHT? CT: D--> I would most strenuously advise against it. It would only obstruct the sharp lines guiding the eye to the waist of your exquisitely tailored jacket. CG: YEAH, I LIKE HOW THE JACKET CUTS SHORT RIGHT OVER THE TIGHTEST WHITE PANTS KNOWN TO TROLLKIND TOO. BE A SHAME TO HIDE THAT. CT: D--> That wasn't CT: D--> I mean CT: D--> I was merely admiring the craftsmanship. CG: YEAH, THAT KIND OF SKILL IS WORTH BEING ADMIRED. I SWEAR TO FUCK THERE'S AN ASS-LIFTING TRICK SEWN RIGHT IN. BUTT-WONDERBRA. MY TUSH IS ALREADY PRETTY GOOD USUALLY BUT DEAR LORD, *I'D* DO ME.

For PB&J: Take one part well-aged longing, one part awkwardness, two parts enthusiasm, and a dash of possessiveness. Mix well. Season to taste with the presence of a crabby moirail in the next block. Part of Miracle Child 'verse

Even the human fandom has recognized that it's a love story. Karkat's just disgusted that we've got them in the wrong quadrant. Rated Teen for Karkat's vocabulary.

In which Rose inadvertently starts the first inter-dimensional chapter of Stitch and Bitch, and courts Kanaya through crafts.

Love advice with Canadians: the clueless leading the clueless who is in love with clueless.

There was no good way to say it: sorry about your surprise sex swap and your nonconsensual werewolf bite also rearranged your butt plumbing and congratulations, I've probably destroyed your sex life forever were not exactly Hallmark sentiments.

"Penis doodles are encouraged on all homework. Awful innuendos are allowed. Extra credit if you can get me to laugh at them. And don't hit on me unless you're legal, 'cause I got crazy shit for that last time." (or, what Patrick Kane would be like as a sex ed instructor)

You never told a single motherfucker walking this planet what went down here. Wasn't the business of nobody but you, him and God. She wasn't your mother or your girlfriend or even your motherfucking friend. Maybe if you told her, though, maybe she'd leave. You know you'd walk away from it if you could.

In hindsight, maybe introducing the local werewolf contingent to the wonderful world of online gaming hadn't exactly been Stiles' best idea.

Jonathan Toews is a certified, bonafide, pedigreed geek. Luckily he's their geek, so it works out okay.

Karkat takes his time; this trick he has learned from several drill sergeants and then from being a drill sergeant, and learned well. When you're not sure what the fuck to do with a subordinate, take your time thinking it out. There is almost no way they will notice you're completely lost at sea: they'll be too busy freaking out. It's a technique he could have used more of when he was a kid. He really has no idea what to do with the guy. -- Sequel to Uniform Kink, a pesterlog/cybersex fic in which Karkat accidentally gets Equius hot under the collar with mentions of the uniform that comes with his promotion, and then decides to run with it. -- Now with Equius POV epilogue! 2000% more fluff.

So, seadweller!Bro sees lowblood!Dave and it's pity at first sight. Maybe he's using weird seadweller rituals or maybe he's just being his strange self to court Dave. Unfortunately, Dave has no idea why this finface is constantly in his business. Show me how they become moirails, please. ♦

In which Newton is a girl and she really doesn't have the time for your shit.

"Relena was a polite, well-bred lady, and did not look at people's crotches. Even when they wore skintight spandex shorts that seemed painted on." Girl!Heero. One-sided, mostly subtexty pairings, no get-together.

The day the bus break hit the news, Eliot Spencer was in the middle of a job, taking down a dirty businessman up north of Boston.

It was kind of ironic that it had taken someone else loving Brian to turn 'not enough' into her 'happily ever after'.

She hasn’t had a partner-assisted orgasm in over a week and a half, and she is just beyond done. She wants to lie down on the cold bathroom floor and cry. Derek is starting to look like a permanently kicked puppy. “Look,” she tells him after dinner, “I love your inner self and your personality or whatever, but can I just tie you up and use your body until I come a couple times?” Derek fumbles the sudsy glass in his hand. “Awesome!” Stiles says brightly.

After the defeat of Aizen, Ichigo has lost his superpowers but not his skills so he's been hiring himself out to any sports team looking for a strong player. When Nagisa Hazuki approaches Ichigo to join the Iwatobi High School Swimming Club, something piques Ichigo's interest....

It was an accident.

The youngest was the fairest of all, and her name was Beauty. Beauty only came out at night.

She had been called by many names, from Amonute to Rebecca, and she had as many secret names by which no man had ever called her. It's best that we speak of her as Pocahontas, the playful one.

Dragging a ten ton vault around on a giant tether was one thing; fighting alien hell beasts from another dimension was something he still didn’t think they were completely qualified for.

Sometimes they forget: she's a political science major.

It's not until after he's pulled the whole thing off that Jason realizes what a stupid move it was.

Her clothes ripple away into blue skin, she keeps her eyes on his face as it does. She sees the shock and doesn’t bother waiting for the disgust. She smiles. “What’s wrong baby?” She asks as innocently as she can. “Don’t you think I’m pretty now?” “Beautiful.” He breathes in reverent Vietnamese.

“Oh. Well, okay.” A voice rings out behind Erwin, and he freezes, despair coiling in his gut because this is the end, he’s been seen and he’ll be captured and experimented on and it’s five in the goddamn morning, who else is in the showers? He chose this time specifically because no one else is ever in the showers at five in the fucking morning. (Or: Erwin has wings and Hanji walks in on him naked.)