Mu Qingfang closes his eyes and counts backward from ten. And then he takes a deep breath, before putting on his most professional smile, the one reserved primarily for people on their deathbeds and recalcitrant Shixiongs with the habit of getting gored by beasts ten times his size. “Liu-shixiong,” Mu Qingfang says, as calmly as he can. “You’ve recently ingested a poison called Blinders for Wandering Eyes.” “My eyesight is fine,” Liu Qingge says, muffled through the blanket. “It’s everything else that’s - not fine.” Mu Qingfang can already feel his blood pressure rising. “The poison does not cause blindness, Shixiong. It was named thus because it was often used on philanderers and unfaithful partners. If certain conditions aren’t met within a specific timeframe, then the poison will begin to break down their organs, starting with their meridians." There’s a long pause, before Liu Qingge says, “I don’t care. Fix it.” -- In which Liu Qingge is poisoned and there's only one way to fix it

Shen Qingqiu attempts to allay Liu Qingge's suspicions.

Shen Yuan was born to be Reviewer 2. Decades after his marriage, Empress Shen Qingqiu is living his best life at the entire demonic civil service's expense.

"I had a question for the Peak Lord," says Luo Binghe, voice sweet, eyes cold. "A dialect question." If Shang Qinghua was sweating before, he's dripping fucking rivers now. He and Cucumber-bro communicate in a horrible mix of memes, internet slang, Chinglish and modern Chinese, mostly but not entirely incomprehensible for any outsider. Luo Binghe had decided it must be some hometown dialect that they shared, despite any evidence of Shen Qingqui and Shang Qinghua ever speaking to each other before they both had the shitty luck to be transmigrated, and devoted himself to learning his beloved Shizun's birth dialect. Fuck! Why was Shang Qinghua dumb enough to have made it a plot point that Luo Binghe had a god level ability to pick up languages! .... right, so he could pick up some girl's dialect and seduce her more easily, but it wasn't fair that this monogamous version of his son could still do it, okay!!

Shang Qinghua got hit with a sex pollen, and he knows his king won't save him. Cucumber-bro doesn't take pity on him; he calls Mobei-Jun, assured that Mobei-Jun won't let Shang Qinghua die.

Shang Qinghua had not always been the most original author out there. If there was a bandwagon to jump on that could please his readers and put more money into his account so he could eat a bit less in the way of cheap instant noodles and a bit more in the way of slightly less cheap instant noodles, he was first in line to jump on it. There was a particular trend that had just started to become popular when he started his novel, and he was all too happy to run with it, adding his own twists to it as was necessary or convenient. If he had known that it would lead to this particular situation—! Well, okay, he probably would have written it in, as a future death held down by a shirtless Mobei Jun sounded infinitely more appealing than starving to death in his dismal little apartment. But at least he would have known what he was signing up for!

“He will know we are faking.” Mobei-jun says. “We’re sharing a room, how will he know?” “He has the room on the other side of the wall. We will have to share the bed.”

Sure, getting fucked by tentacles was a rare, once in two lifetimes kind of experience. But honestly, once you went demon dick there's no going back. OR Shang Qinghua (and Shen Qingqiu) gets tentacle-fucked but Shang Qinghua is still helplessly horny for a certain ice demon.

What sort of servitude ceremony was this? — In which Shang Qinghua didn't leave.

“Sometimes when Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu make love-” Shang Qinghua thinks of the right way to phrase it, drawing on his extensive experience- “Shen Qingqiu’s heavenly pillar descends to Luo Binghe’s ravine, if you understand me,” he says, moving his eyebrows in a way that is meant to convey deep meaning. Mobei-Jun does not make an expression of understanding, but he’s watching Shang Qinghua very, very closely. “Shang Qinghua,” he says. “You want to be inside me?”

It was a beautiful field, constantly blooming with purple flowers. No weather in the human realm could stop them, and only the gods' mercy can save any human affected by them. Well, that and a demon's 'mercy' would work too. OR Sex Pollen Field Affects Local Peak Lord, Half-Demon Protagonist Lends A Helping Pillar!! Done for LQG Fuck or Die Fest (2019)!

After the tranquil bamboo house on Qing Jing Peak and Luo Binghe’s splendid, demonic mansion, Shen Qingqiu definitely finds sleeping on a futon cradling a cheap dakimakura to be a downgrade.

Shen Yuan never thought that he would transmigrate into a web novel. But, if he had… maybe he would have chosen a role with slightly more… narrative weight, than this one? Like sure, it’s all well and good to be the fancy top healer of a cultivation sect! But even though he- “Mu Qingfang”- has a sword, he barely ever uses it. What the heck! And did he accidentally... accept the protagonist as his disciple? Mr Protagonist Bingge sir… this humble man promises he wasn’t trying to steal your tragic coming up through misery backstory from you!

“Well,” Luo Binghe says, looking at Liu Qingge with a complicated expression on his face. Liu Qingge glares, spitting the blood out of his mouth, and goes to suck at on the wound on his arm again, trying to draw out as much of the poison as possible. “I could cure it, but you’re not going to like it.”

While Luo Binghe is in the Abyss, Shen Qingqiu is struck by a strange poison that gives him a woman's body. The only solution: orgasm. Who on earth will be able to help him...?

During the succubus extra... Liu Qingge really doesn't know how to jack off and Shen Qingqiu has to help him.

Luo Binghe rolls to his back, looking up at their bed’s canopy. “When you invited me to sit in your carriage... that was you?” “Yes,” Shen Qingqiu says warily. “I was fourteen,” Luo Binghe says. “But if Shen Qinqgiu’s body wasn’t your own, how old were you?”

Shen Qingqiu’s inner robe spreads out like somewhat algae-infested green water across the sand floor of the succubus den. Liu Qingge lays- or, rather, stiffy braces himself on his elbows- like a white line of moonlight across it. Cautiously, Shen Qingqiu lays down next to Liu Qingge- barely touching him. The perfect skin of Liu Qingge’s face is illuminated by a faint sheen of sweat; his chest is heaving like so many flat bosoms in the chapters requested by that one reader who didn’t like big boobs. His hair is dark and beautiful, the bang falling across his cheek and directing the eye to his pink, parted lips. He is: pretty hot. He is: in need of assistance. He is: in need of LIFE SAVING SEX! Succubus extra~ it's t4t piv sex babes!

Oh no~ Shen Qingqiu has been struck by sex pollen~ good thing he has two beautiful lovers ready and willing to help! But they've never done it... with each other in the room... Local peak lord experiences first threesome while out of his mind horny on sex pollen, has more than one really good orgasm, click thru to read more

Liu Qingge would stand before him, shield and sword, and offer his all. So, when the man who held his heart and sword called for him, he came on the fastest blade in the human world. And when that man looked at him, a demonic arm curled around his waist and Luo Binghe plastered to his back, Liu Qingge stood at the ready. And when that man asked him to come into their bed, Liu Qingge pulled off his outer robe with steady hands.

“Shizun…” Shen Qingqiu looks up from where he’s kneeled at his writing desk, meeting the dark, hooded gaze of his husband standing beside him. Binghe is already dressed down to only a thin inner shirt that covers down to his upper thighs. At this angle, Shen Qingqiu can nearly see under it, blushing as Binghe’s hand slides enticingly up his thigh to drag the robe up and aside, parting just enough to display his pretty, already wet pussy. He swallows thickly, putting down his ink brush as he stares up at his husband’s shameless behaviour. Bingqiu find a flower with a unique side effect and find they really quite like the change.

"I accidentally created a whole real person to be my sexual plaything! And now I'm about to baby-trap him! In a trap that I also created! I'm pretty sure this isn't okay!"

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua are stuck in a pit. With a curse. And they are not happy.

Fans of Proud Immortal Demon Way attempt to make sense of recent Twitter interactions between Peerless Cucumber and Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky. (siskyverse)

Shen Qingqiu's /r/relationships post.

In the weeks before Shang Qinghua's marriage to the King of the Northern Wastes, he invites Liu Qingge to go fishing.

"I'm sorry I mocked you, yesterday," Ning Yingying says at last. "About giving the demoness a shot with you. I am forced to admit we can maybe learn something from the way you do things." "The way I do things," Liu Mingyan repeats. "You mean not having sex?" "Yeah," says Ning Yingying. Liu Mingyan is unsure how to feel about "not having sex" being one of her defining characteristics. She never set out for it to happen, although it is true that she didn't set out for it to not happen, either. All she knows is she is entirely uninterested in sex with Binghe, and that is apparently enough to make her unique.

Shang Qinghua has made certain oversights. He never, in any of his escape plans, accounted for the presence of his bro. And so, like a cornered animal would, Shang Qinghua bares his teeth. It should have been a warning, but the demon just laughs.

Mission: What If? Fated Lovers On Another Planet has successfully been activated! This is Shang Qinghua's fault.

So he might have, at some point, tried to figure out an OC for Mobei-jun to ship w fuck. Dude was so perfect, it was a shame his dump truck ass and sequoia thighs remained unembraced. (Also the whole "he's so mysterious and never opens up and unveils his deep thoughts and tender feelings except for me" fantasy but never mind all that.) He'd gone exactly as far as 'Meeting: why tf would he notice anyone. Enemies to lovers? No wait hed kill them straight away. Dashing rescue? Why does he need a rescue he's too cool and basically untrappable anyway, what are they rescuing him from socializing with his cousins lmao???' on his notes before giving up on making it realistic. The next scribble was 'cuz i said so ok next'. There had been no 'next'. His battery had died and when he managed to get home and get his laptop plugged in it was time for another word vomit on the topic of Bing-ge's meat truncheon. [Secret side-quest unlocked: Easter egg hunt! 1/536 discovered. Keep going!] [Category: "is it a headcanon if you didn't think it up with your upper head?" 1/413]

“...What are your thoughts on interspecies copulation?” he calls out.

Shang Qinghua peeked over his shoulder. “My king, ah, I’m really embarrassed.” “What are you embarrassed…” Mobei Jun started, eyes trailing down Shang Qinghua’s neck, stopping obtusely at his chest. Where Shang Qinghua was once flat, it now seemed that he had developed two round hills. -- In which Shang Qinghua plays around with his cultivation and encounters a slight problem. Of course, Mobei Jun is eager to help his husband.