So, my resolution to blog more! How about blogging hilarious TV? I have rarely seen TV more hilarious than Teen Wolf.

In which Stiles cooks and takes his meals with weirdos.

It’s mating season and Derek tracks Stiles down and catches him doing something naughty.

In which there is a lot of talking about Disney. A lot.

For the prompt, "Blowjobs are super helpful for calming people down."

College is weird. Especially when you're supposedly dating the big man on campus. This was never covered in orientation.

Written for the prompt: Stiles smells really good to Derek. Like everything sweet rolled into one. Not that Derek would admit it. Maybe he accidentally gets ride of Stiles' bodyspray or never returns that borrowed shirt.

Derek had the bad habit of stealing Stiles' phone every time he came over. He didn't have one of his own, and Stiles had never seen a problem with him shooting off a text to someone as long as he didn't rack up minutes or download games...or porn.

Written for the prompt: Scott and/or Jackson come over to see Derek and find Derek and Stiles fucking (the rougher, more animalistic, bitey, knotting, etc the better). Scott/Jackson end up secretly watching them, getting totally turned on and jerking off. Bonus if Derek is totally aware they're being watched and puts on a show (preferably, with Stiles unaware).

Derek's always knew that Stiles is in love with him. But only when Stiles left for college he realizes that he feels the same way. When Stiles comes back home for vacation smelling like he belongs to someone else Derek loses it.

Anyone who follows me on Tumblr will know that the past month of my life has been a rapid downward spiral into Teen Wolf obsession.

In which there are parties, awkwardness and orgasms.

“We are not killing her! God, do you even hear yourself?!”

Stiles doesn't notice the constant buzzing in his head until it's gone.

“You really are good at that,” Dylan says, echoing his thoughts. “Good at what, exactly?” Chris says, lifting one finger to his mouth and licking it, which makes Dylan’s eyelashes flutter. “All of it,” Dylan sighs. “All of it. All the parts.”

He's always hidden it. Them.

"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma." (Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)

It all began when Ms. Frizzle got the letter from her niece.

"I accept your body!" Stiles says hurriedly. "I accept you. Sexually." There is a pause. Derek says, "Thanks."

There was no good way to say it: sorry about your surprise sex swap and your nonconsensual werewolf bite also rearranged your butt plumbing and congratulations, I've probably destroyed your sex life forever were not exactly Hallmark sentiments.

Derek's expecting the new guy. He's expecting another mostly-useless college kid who doesn't know one end of a horse from the other, and Derek doesn't have the time to babysit. What he's not expecting is Stiles Stilinski, who carries on conversations with the livestock and gets maybe a little too chummy with Isaac and is really kind of stupidly perfect in every way. And it's just distracting, that's all.

"Does it change you, being turned?" Patrick asks. "I mean, obviously the physical stuff, but does it change who you are?" Erica takes off her helmet, then leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees. "It depends on how much the physical stuff makes you who you are, I guess."

Stiles gets a proposal. Derek doesn't punctuate like normal people.

drunktuesdays: what am I going to NAME it? drlense: "Knot's Entertainment?" drlense: "Knot's Landing?" drlense: "Short attention span but a really stretched out Anus?" drlense: "My boyfriend does Knot pay attention?"

Stiles doesn't actually mean to become Beacon Hills High's go-to guy for free condoms and sex advice. It just happens.

Danny is bruised. Their werewolf drama has officially bruised Danny. This is the worst day ever.

Sheriff Stilinski has finally figured out the cause of the rift between them: his son's gay, and he's effectively cut that line of communication. Being the good father that he is, he tries to make sure Stiles knows that he can tell him anything, especially about Derek Hale. Their wires seem to have gotten crossed somewhere.

Derek and Stiles go hunting. Kind of.

Stiles gets a massage. And then some. Alternatively: in which Stiles' mouth gets him into trouble, again and again.

Derek doesn’t get why he likes it so much. It’s just not -- he hadn’t expected to need this. Not from Stiles. Not from anyone, ever. He doesn’t do this. Except he does, now. Because it’s for Stiles, and Derek -- fuck, he likes it too.

"Watching Stiles heal someone has always been a little uncomfortable for Derek, like he's seeing something intimate and private that shouldn't have an audience. That's nothing compared to how it feels." This is an AU in which Stiles has magical healing powers.

OMG THERE NEEDS TO BE FIC WHERE THE SHERIFF RELATES DATING TO FISHING. AND STILES WANTS TO DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT.

"So," says Stiles, lips barely able to move against Derek's shoulder. "This is a thing, huh? I don't think we can deny that it's a thing. A conspiracy. All supernatural beings want us to be trapped in enclosed spaces."

"He misses his regular appointment to get shorn because he's too busy trying to keep Scott out of trouble and he starts to look a little bit like a hedgehog. By the time he misses the rescheduled appointment though, his hair's grown out enough that he really can't be bothered."

Derek is in the cell for about ten minutes before the lone door opens and a new body is tossed in. The person hits the floor with a grunt, rolls, and stands as the door is clanging shut. “That’s really not the way to treat a guest!”

In which Scott notices Derek and Stiles, gets very confused, and tries to be a good friend.

The pack asks Stiles to find a way to get Derek to chill out. This is the best he can come up with.

After the rave, Stiles can't go home, and Derek doesn't want him to.

Three times Derek caught Stiles jerking off in the Jeep on the Preserve.

Written for a prompt on the kinkmeme. TFLN: My dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for Sunday brunch next week. You in?

All hail Stiles, the Fixer of Wolves.

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!” Derek raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress. Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.” (Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

Even though he’s making fun of it, Stiles thinks the whole thing sounds awesome and, like most stuff these days, the experience is going to be totally wasted on Scott.

kalpurna: is it weird that I want an original character to call Stiles a cock tease and Stiles is like WHAT and Derek is like what. drunktuesdays: lol that's so specific! why? kalpurna: BECAUSE YOU MADE A TUMBLR POST THAT USED THAT PHRASE AND EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TEEN WOLF + PEOPLE SHOULD TRY TO GET ON STILES'S DICK AND DEREK SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT???? MAYBE I JUST LIKE TO THINK ABOUT STILES TEASING COCKS???????????????? For Kalpurna, from whom I stole all the best lines.

She passes it down, from mother to child, from father to child, until it ends up in his hands. The story and the cloak just as they where the day they were made.

Derek finally works up the courage to ask for something, and Stiles is more than willing to help. (Or the one where Derek and Stiles have been together for years and have a relationship based on mutual love, trust, and respect.)

“He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.”

When the Beacon Hills lacrosse team made a bet with the Beacon Hills cheerleading squad, Stiles should have recognized the smirks on the girls' faces and stopped the whole thing right there.

In hindsight, maybe introducing the local werewolf contingent to the wonderful world of online gaming hadn't exactly been Stiles' best idea.

There bruises on Derek's chest from where Stiles pushed Derek. Two purple-red impressions of the heel of Stiles' palms. Derek pokes them curiously. Derek's never had bruises before Stiles.