Post Drum Island-Arc. Chopper likes everyone in his new herd. Although he's not quite so sure about Zoro, who smells like metal and blood.

It's the job of the captain to pick the crew, and the duty of the first mate to test them for worthiness. How Zoro came to accept each of the straw hats as nakama.

If Zoro had the conscience to do anything but pant hotly and swallow moans, he might have laughed at the smear of cream on the cook’s nose.

The sign, standing unassuming outside the Grand Line Coffee Shop in a handwriting Sanji recognizes as Usopp’s, says: TODAY YOUR BARISTA IS: 1. Hella fucking gay. 2. Desperately single. FOR YOUR DRINK TODAY I’D RECOMMEND: You give me your number. Or, the one coffee shop au where Usopp pulls a prank, Sanji is unexpectedly (read: completely unexpected to him and only him) popular among the male population of their campus, and Zoro just wants to grab a coffee.

Sanji is carefully placing a cherry on top of the ice cream, his hands nimble, soft, almost—gentle. But all Zoro sees is the way the hems of his pants are still soaked in blood from an earlier skirmish with a marine ship, red seeping into the cracks on the floorboard, spattering across the kitchen floor in a slow drip, drip, drip. Zoro stares, fascinated. He can’t bring himself to look away. (Or, Zoro and Sanji—terrible monsters, in love)

Zoro gets lost, Sanji gets captured by the marines, the Strawhats break into the ship's prison, and they all escape with a bang. Not exactly in that order, much to the confusion of Sanji's cellmates.

…as witnessed, told, and suffered through by the Bravest Warrior of the Sea, Usopp. Sanji loves Zoro. Zoro loves Sanji. They are also, somehow, obliviously, infuriatingly, in an unrequited love with each other. Usopp thinks he can do something about it. He really should have had more self-preservation instinct than that.

What's left of the little eggplant is a half-empty packet of cigarettes and a bloodied tie.

Zoro is confident in saying that Sanji is a man who doesn’t do what he’s told. Which is why, when a command accidentally slips from Zoro’s lips during foreplay, he is expecting to hear the cook’s scoff as he continues to do what he pleases.

Zoro has no problem speaking with things in his mouth. Sanji on the other hand...

From the other end of the ship, panting as though he has run from the depths of his workshop, Usopp is the next to let out a scream: “Why is there a SHARK ON THE DECK!?”

Imagine person A making person B a friendship bracelet, expecting person B to never wear it, but when it’s given to them person B puts it on and is rarely seen with it off. A group of marines charge, Zoro slices through them, and in that instant Sanji feels his own eyes grow wide. Because there, on the arm now outstretched towards him, steel glinting in hand, is the stupid bracelet he’d given Zoro. The bastard is actually wearing it.

(563): Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards.

Luffy, challenge, really big maze, treasure if he wins, death if he loses. Are any more explanations required?

"Zoro!" Luffy gave him a happy grin, looked out at sea...swung his head about to give his first mate a slightly longer look centered on the latter's new bust line, then back up at Zoro's face as he waved excitedly. "Hurry up! Nami says the log pose will set here if we wait too long, and then we won't be able to sail to Merman Island because we'll be set on another course. Hey, do you know your clothes are too big?"

You know how this is going to go.

Entirely smut and time travel porn.

Why can't any food grown in the Grand Line ever be normal? Written for Black Bar Book's birthday to indulge all of her kinks.

Started entirely by Syb la tortue, she introduced me to homestuck, the idea of quadrants and the concept of quadrants plus one piece to me. This picture: http://syblatortue.tumblr.com/post/29228514788/i-was-reminded-that-zoro-tentacles-is-a-thing-and and this one http://syblatortue.deviantart.com/art/Up-Close-and-Personal-342278201 are also to blame.

They'd evaded the draconian nurses and night watchmen; Operation Eggplant (so codenamed just to annoy the brat) was a go.

Dr Kureha pounded some more monkshood beneath the pestle. "The name of a rabbit disease that infects humans. Causes ulcerations-"

Sanji and Zoro show a little of their affection and mutual respect (the uninitiated say it looks a lot like 'trying to beat the shit out of each other', but that's because they don't know these two guys very well)

To fuel such a fever long.

Zoro and Sanji's second time. The less said about the first...

Sanji laughed, a short, raspy bark of amusement. "Come on, geezer, you know guys like me and the marimo-head don't see a ripe old age. We live well, grab our dreams, hold tight and die hard at the age of thirty-five. Forty if we're lucky."

Zeff grinned when he saw Zoro pawing at the noose around his neck. "The dress-code's the downside of working in the service industry, kid."

"Yes, this isn't all that interesting anymore," Sanji agreed with a longing look at the corridor down which the beautiful girls had fled with their stuffed alligator. "My beautiful Nami-swan should be docking the Merry in that hidden harbour right about now. I hope she didn't suffer too dreadfully from my absence." "Do they even know where we are?" "No." "Good. That'll give us time to go and meet them at the docks rather than see them tumbling through that door any second now. I don't want Luffy anywhere near this place."

"Sanji hates Usopp right now, everything is completely his fault and he hates him. He hates his stupid face, his stupid lies, his stupid nose and most of all his stupid PLANTS!"

Does what it says in the title, however the tone is less flippant than that.

Zoro and his sensei (I don't know if we ever learn the man's name...). Kuina's father and his apparent non-reaction to his daugther's death intrigued me. And since I read too much 'Lone Wolf and Cub', 'Vagabond' etc., this drabble happened.

Like the previous drabble, it's situated two weeks after a defining event in one of the crew's life.

Hundreds of years from now, historians will never know what her captain was thinking, when he brought Enies Lobby to its knees with a declaration of war, when he attacked a Celestial Dragon on an island in an archipelago, and she won't be there to explain, "it was for a friend, you see?" (In which Nami comes to understand that the world will never understand Luffy.)

"We'll show them," Kuina breathes, wiping blood from the corner of her mouth as she looks to her sister. "Girls can be swordsmen too." Zahra nods dutifully, holding her tongue between a jaw clenched tight enough to crack; I think I’m boy, she wants to say - he wants to say, but doesn't, feeling sick as his stomach tightens. Traitor, it seems to taunt, his body a riot against him, traitor, traitor, you're a traitor, she just wants you to understand, she just wants you to be a girl.

: “You’re certain you want your first sexual experience to be like this?” “I just want my first sexual experience.” (Or, Sanji goes to a bathhouse looking for a casual hook-up and ends up getting so much more. Sanji/Law, modern!AU).

In the end, getting Law to agree to spending the night with them had been the easy part. Knocking down a few of his walls was going to be much more difficult. Law/Zoro/Sanji

It's not like Usopp had thought about it much, really. Just once. Or twice. Or a few dozen times. So when the opportunity presents itself, he'd be a fool not to take it. Zoro/Sanji/Law/Usopp, set in the 'So Good So Far' 'verse but not canon to the fic itself, and also my birthday present to Usopp.

“If it were me, and I was in your position, I wouldn’t let something that makes me happy slip away because it might hurt my pride to admit it.” Two years apart shouldn’t change anything. At least, that’s what he keeps telling himself. ZoSan

Back in August 2008 I posted a suggestion on this comm about gathering information on how the Strawhats talk and address each other. I included examples of how it might look for Luffy and Zoro. Over time I expanded the original entry until it encompassed all the Strawhats, with plenty of helpful pointers from posters in the thread. The old entry is still there, but as the context of the presentation is different now, it occurred to me it might be good to repost what I’ve got. (Mods, please let me know if this is a problem.) Edit: And here's another post focusing on the way they speak in general, written by someone far more qualified than I am on these matters./edit

in·a·ni·tion, noun; lack of mental or spiritual vigor and enthusiasm; exhaustion caused by lack of nourishment. (In which Luffy's metabolism is faster than his doctor understands.)

They were starving. That was reason enough for Zeff to open the Baratie's doors and feed them, whoever the hell they were.

Nami has an extremely uncomfortable reaction to an island's pollen, and Zoro offers to help.

Break all the bones you want, he wishes he could say, if he could speak without giving into the urge to scream. He hopes his expression is venomous enough to get the point across anyway, to this stupid man who thinks any Straw Hat Pirate would betray their infamous captain.

The plan was simple, as good a plan as a clan of shipwreckers and bounty-hunters could ever come up with. Capture one of the weaker Straw Hats, the ones without bounties, and make them beg for mercy until the stronger ones surrendered. Nothing can possibly go wrong with such an easy, straightforward scheme. Time to make some money!

Nami's nakama were certifiable. Loony-bin material, every last one of them.

Sanji didn't wonder why he gave himself the challenge. It didn't matter why. ‘Why’ was probably covered by one-upping the bloody swordsman, and maybe there were other reasons - stranger reasons - but that was the only one that really counted, right? It was decided. He was going to get Zoro to appreciate - no, love Sanji's food. If Sanji couldn't do it, then he wasn't a true sea-cook after all.

It should be easy to judge a man by the shape of his soul, but Strawhat Luffy spits in the face of logic and predictability.

Sanji, who's been in plenty of bar fights since signing on as a Straw Hat, knows a particular type of danger when he sees it. (In which Luffy is too trusting, and at the end of the day Sanji has ulterior motives of his own.)

The children of the Sea have always chased after the horizon with a fire in their hearts that drove them ever forward to reach the place were the sky kisses the water. Not even death can stop the Will of D from echoing across the world. Sawada Tsunayoshi is the responsible older brother to three wild and mischievous little brothers. Tsuna loves them and they love him back. Now if only the world around them would stop catching fire so easily all the time, that would be fantastic. (The Will of D joins with the Flames of Sky in a Harmony that will bring forth the storm of change.)

Sanji describes his time on Momorio Island as "hell". Despite what he lets his crewmates believe it has nothing to do with the lack of ladies. He spent two years either fleeing or fighting. He did not come away unscarred and did not have a fun adventure. An attempt at a canon compliant explanation for Sanji's reactions without just being a prejudiced jerk. Lots of trauma and internal narrative.

Sanji hears the explosion in the early evening. It's not very close — somewhere on the island, for sure, but not close enough to shake the house itself. He tilts his head towards it, pauses for a moment from slicing scallions, but doesn't pay it much more mind than that. Things explode all the time, around Big Mom and her family. So long as they're nowhere near him or anything important to him, Sanji does his best not to think about it. That's not his place. It becomes his problem when, five minutes later, Pudding shoulders open the door to his rooms, anger licking off her like flames. Sanji carefully places his knife to the side and turns to face her. She crowds him against the counter, glaring. "Did you know about this?" she demands in a hiss, leaning forward. “Are you in on whatever hairbrained scheme they're trying to pull off right now? Do you have fucking contact with them?" In a slightly different world, Sanji is made even more his mother's son.