“Oh, not this Smallville BS again, Dean. That’s a myth.” Sam looks up from his manly breakfast of Corn Nuts and Coke to roll his eyes at Dean.

Bob was never exactly certain how he and Patrick ended up sharing an apartment in LA.

The Girls make it their personal mission to get Puck into Kurt’s pants. Many things ensue, including but not limited to: spa treatments, slushie-bonding, campfires over makeup, and a Saw marathon.

"It was really kind of sad watching him pine after you all the time, while you just went about business as usual," Ariadne says.

After hearing that Kurt went out with Brittany in 'Laryngitis,' Sue decides that he needs to kiss a guy, just to make sure. She chooses a not-exactly-reluctant Mike for the task.

Jones and Diana talk shop, promotions, politics, and the sex lives of their colleagues during the weekly Friday Night Safety Meeting.

Clint is really bad at being single. Fury hands Coulson a mission: Find Clint Barton a boyfriend.

"So," says Stiles, lips barely able to move against Derek's shoulder. "This is a thing, huh? I don't think we can deny that it's a thing. A conspiracy. All supernatural beings want us to be trapped in enclosed spaces."

Britta decides Abed and Troy should be honest with the group about their relationship.

Nothing good has ever come from Steph and Dick plotting together. Nothing.

Steve discovers a secret simulation on the game server.

Professor X and Magneto have a few additional instructions for Logan, as long as, you know, he's going to be back in time. (I'm sorry, this is total crack.)

…as witnessed, told, and suffered through by the Bravest Warrior of the Sea, Usopp. Sanji loves Zoro. Zoro loves Sanji. They are also, somehow, obliviously, infuriatingly, in an unrequited love with each other. Usopp thinks he can do something about it. He really should have had more self-preservation instinct than that.

Riza takes such immense joy in ruining Roy's life that he can't even bring himself to begrudge her.

A spirit decides to play matchmaker by giving Ryan the proper push in Shane's direction.

Ameyuri and Zabuza get locked in a closet. It's maybe not an entirely terrible thing.

Brian’s laughing as they drag each other up the stairs of Pat’s apartment, their hips bumping with every step. “Am I making you the worst neighbor in the world?” Brian whispers loudly, while Pat tries his best to get his key in the lock. Brian’s leaning against the wall, wiping at his eyes. “We can make it worse,” Pat says, and he can feel himself grinning. “We can make it so much worse.”

Kurama! Kurama, go right to baa-chan! Get to her or I'm going to smack you, believe it! “Ha,” Kurama mutters under his breath, and deliberately turns away from the hospital, heading for the market instead. “You're not in the driver’s seat right now, brat. Let’s see how you like it.” Kurama! Kurama, don’t you do anything— “Sorry, can't hear you,” Kurama says smugly, and drowns out Naruto's voice from his inner world with all the spite of twenty-three years spent watching his host shovel down a truly nauseating amount of ramen each day.

xiii. no stranger to love “Houston, we have a problem,” says Phichit Chulanont as he looks up from his phone.

The cascade of events that lead to this moment—Nie Mingjue in a mesh crop top and billowing pants and a snake shaped chain that connects the neck bit to his trousers, good god—started, like all chaotic things in Mingjue’s life do, with Huaisang. With Huaisang’s new boyfriend, to be precise. And Huaisang’s boyfriend’s brother’s boyfriend’s brother. Who just happened to be Mingjue’s high school almost-sweetheart. - in which Huaisang has an art show, Xichen wears a suit, and there are. Shenanigans.

Nie Huaisang hates, hates, hates paperwork. Life would be so much better if only Meng Yao (now officially recognized as Jin Guangyao) were available to do it for him...but unfortunately, his brother never did end up swearing brotherhood with him, which means that Nie Huaisang has no basis to go ask him for help. If only there were another position available where Jin Guangyao could just run the Nie sect – (in which Nie Huaisang decides to matchmake his brother and Jin Guangyao together for his own selfish reasons)

“How much is bail set for?” Jamie asks without hesitation and not even a hint of sleep in his voice. Fucker. “I’ll get Jordie to do a transfer. Whatever it is, we’ll get you out.” Tyler thinks it’s commendable that he doesn’t cut the call then and there. Then again, once word gets out that Sidney Crosby is possibly broken, Jamie and Jordie are the last chance he has of actually making it back across the Atlantic alive. Or alternatively, Tyler Seguin Worries That He Broke Sidney Crosby In Prague With Indelible Ink.

Jack feels the metal bite into his wrist. There’s more resistance than there should be, and with a growing sense of horror, Jack looks down to see that Saader has locked him into one of the cuffs belonging to a pair of hot pink, fuzzy handcuffs. The other is around the wrist of fucking Connor McDavid.