John introduces his best human friend to his best troll friend. Maybe the three of them sit down to watch romcoms, maybe they're just hanging around a lab in the veil, but whatever the circumstance, Dave has trouble paying attention to the conversation at hand. Karkat is good looking and distracting and it's just not fair. Naturally, he begins distracting Karkat while John's talking. Little touches, lip licks, etc. Karkat gets flustered, Dave is thrilled, John is oblivious. It turns into a competition to see who can flirt the most without alerting John to their UST-fueled game.

Josephine is not a flirt, really.

Dorian Pavus is a successful, single, and frankly frustrated author of Young Adult fiction. His work largely concerns the experiences of gay and queer teens, and he always, always gives them hopeful endings, despite his own life not delivering on that part. When he's invited to host a writer's workshop at a shelter for young people, he meets its caretaker, Iron Bull. Iron Bull admires his work, and then some. Dorian isn't quite sure how, but this becomes a Thing.

Josephine smiles, and Cassandra smiles back with a reflexive happiness that sends warmth spiraling up from Josephine's belly to her heart. The thing it has taken her a long time to learn about Cassandra is that quite often her impatience and sarcasm are a thin layer, fragile as the skin of ice over a lake--and the emotions they conceal are as drowningly deep as that lake.

"Flatterer." But there was a curl of enjoyment in Josie's voice, so Leliana persisted.

Part of being your matesprit is learning how to swim. You don't know how Karkat got this far without being able to, but before the end of the night, he's going to learn if it krills you.

When Viktor had asked for something 'hot', Yuuri's reply wasn't exactly what he'd expected...

Sara Crispino, thirstiest virgin in Barcelona, decides to get rejected by pretty much half the skating world. Mila Babicheva, nursing the world's worst Straight Girl Crush in recent history, is just along for the ride.

In which Yamamoto is a flirt and Gokudera reminds him of just what that gets him.

Some things, no matter how effective, are not to be used as negotiating tactics.

If this airship lasts through one more round of Fire Country, it will be a miracle, Orochimaru thinks.

“You sure you want to do this?” Tōka asks, doesn’t let her gaze waver from the mercenary with a gun to her cousin’s head. Her own are completely steady, and she doesn’t miss a step as she turns, following the woman’s retreat deeper into the cave. “Sorry, Tōka,” Mito says, and the tone is light but there's a look in her eyes that Tōka is fairly sure is rueful. “I'm too pretty to stay in prison for the rest of my life."

“I think,” Shisui declares, and kind of distantly hopes he isn’t about to die a messy death, “that this calls for a kidnapping.” There's a moment of absolute silence. “What,” Utakata demands.

' "What," Hinata says, "like you're suddenly going to become a kabedon master?" The idea itself is hilarious. Kageyama has all the timing and subtlety of a tyrannosaurus in a china shop. Hinata sees no reason to be wary. "We'll see," Kageyama says darkly. "We'll see." ' -- When Hinata introduces Kageyama to the concept of kabedon, he isn't expecting to create a monster. But all origin stories have humble (sometimes very humble) beginnings...

Sakumo loses a bet and has to cover the fashion beat for a week. It's not nearly the trial he expected it to be.

Edward, Tobirama, some accidental dimension travel, and questions of methodology. Plus snark.

“Fuck, you too?” is the first thing Zabuza says to him after a solid five years apart.

As Haku sends them roaring away from the dock, Asuma's powder ignites, sweeping a cloud of fire across the side of the prison. It clings like napalm, settles on the stone and starts eating through it, and Asuma slouches back into his seat next to Zabuza with a satisfied smile. “Pretty good for a night’s work,” is his verdict. Ino laughs, leaning forward as her long hair whips out behind her. “Asuma-sensei, did you find a partner?” she asks delightedly. “In prison?” Shikamaru mutters judgmentally.

“He’s hot, isn't he?” Izuna asks, stealing one of Tobirama’s pens. Entirely distracted by his thoughts, Tobirama grunts in agreement, then realizes exactly what he was confirming and snaps his head up to glare at Izuna. Izuna just laughs in his face, and Tobirama groans and presses a hand over his eyes.

Zabuza fishes a dying Konoha nin out of the Nakano. That one action is the falling stone that kicks off an avalanche.

Shikamaru squints at him out of one eye. “Omoi,” he says, exasperated. “I'm going to be the first Avatar to ever throw the world out of balance,” Omoi says. “I'm going to cause—” “—me to go prematurely bald,” Shikamaru interrupts, and reaches up to grab his wrist, dragging him down onto the blanket next to him.

Kakashi has a lot of work ahead of him if he wants Tsuna to survive, but at least the company is agreeable. And cute.

Raphael likes to lowkey compliment Simon, the only problem is that Simon highkey has no freaking clue what he's saying.

“Okay,” Simon says, shoving a shirt back into the overly ornate closet that takes up half his room, “this isn’t a nineties movie. There’s not going to be a shopping montage to indie rock chick music, and even though tiny backpacks are probably cool again, please don’t ever buy one.” Raphael looks at him like he’s a moron. “Do you even understand half the stuff that comes out of your mouth?”

“Who the hell are you supposed to be, un?” Deidara demands, bristling. “The villain from a shitty Princess Gale movie?”

Sirius Black grabs his godson and flees to Italy after Godric's Hollow. Landing in the middle of organized crime, curses, and malevolent ghosts was most definitely not part of the plan, but there might be a few perks.

Zabuza's got a thing for vicious, especially when it comes wrapped up in a cute package.

She’s barely days away from finally challenging Yagura for his seat, so of course Zabuza chooses now to make himself a problem.

Brian’s laughing as they drag each other up the stairs of Pat’s apartment, their hips bumping with every step. “Am I making you the worst neighbor in the world?” Brian whispers loudly, while Pat tries his best to get his key in the lock. Brian’s leaning against the wall, wiping at his eyes. “We can make it worse,” Pat says, and he can feel himself grinning. “We can make it so much worse.”

“I want it known that I'm only allowing this under protest,” Kakashi says dryly. Zabuza rolls his eyes, leaning back against a tree and watching the trio on the bridge with amusement. “Yeah, you’ve said that. I don’t think the Hokage was impressed, either.”

That’s a nice face, Genma thinks. A hell of a nice face. And the biceps that are as big around as Genma's head are nothing to sneeze at, either. “Genma,” Aoba starts, a warning in his voice, but in the same moment the bigger Swordsman laughs again, leaning down, and instantly three of the genin swarm him. He boosts them up, then rises easily, like the weight of three genin is nothing at all, and Genma watches them laugh and cling to his shoulders, his arms, and licks his lips. “Genma,” Aoba says, and that’s his judgey and horrified tone.

Kakashi’s senses keep going haywire, and Genma is pretty sure he’s the only one who notices.

Jason wrestles the crazy, half-feral ninja to the ground ten blocks from the building he blew up with magic, which means it’s probably a Thursday in Gotham.

Tang Fan chats up a drunk patron to get some evidence.

“Are you really sure this is necessary?” Jon asks, faintly hunted.

“This,” Xanatos says with perfect conviction, “is going to be an absolute disaster, I can't believe you agreed to this.”

With a sound of quiet sympathy, Kit reaches out, tapping his knuckles lightly against Rex's pauldron. “Forgive me, Captain, but I believe you would be far more comfortable without your armor. The beach cannot be a pleasant place for you right now.” Rex pauses, almost startled by the idea of taking his armor off. He’s on a mission, or at least the disastrous tail end of one, and unless he’s on leave, he almost never strips down to his blacks. And it’s been…months, since his last stretch of leave that wasn’t cut off before it even started. “Oh,” he says dumbly, and then flushes, reaching for the clasps on his armor. “Right, sorry, sir.”

Agen digs his fingers into the silver-veined bark, smiling a little. Pushes upright, flicking his hair back behind his shoulder, and pulls his outer robe off, draping it over a branch. “A trooper in distress,” he says, stepping forward. “I believe Jedi are supposed to rectify such things.” Two pairs of dark eyes snap to him, and Fives's widen with glee. He wriggles harder under Echo's pinning weight, like a landed fish, and cries, “General Kolar, help! I'm being overrun!”

“Well,” Kit says lightly. “This does seem to be a predicament, doesn’t it?” Pressed right up against him, gauntlets digging bruises into his almost-bare hips, Dogma squeezes his eyes tightly shut. “I'm going to kill my whole squad,” he says, perfectly certain and resigned to it.

Kaz recruits Wylan to help infiltrate the Ice Court. Wylan is under the impression that Jesper is flirting with him—until Jesper brings up his lost true love.

“Soon, padawan,” Qui-Gon says, and Obi-Wan doesn’t appreciate the amusement in his voice at all, but his disgruntled look doesn’t win him anything except a raised brow and the calmly bemused glance that always makes Master Windu eye Qui-Gon’s hair like he’s about to pull on it.

“Queen Miraj is going to betray you,” Feral says, and Cody practically jumps out of his own skin.

Maul is going to make himself a widower in short order.

“You know,” Shaak says, and watches the man jerk upright with wide eyes. She smiles careful not to show teeth, and pulls herself out of the water just enough to fold her arms on the stone, resting her chin on them. “I usually eat Men like you.”

Leon can have little a maladaptive coping mechanism, as a treat.

“Sure you've got enough in there, Senator?” Cody asks, warily eyeing the crate two of his brand-new aides drop with a heavy thud. “There's more on my ship if I need it,” Padmé says mildly, and when Cody turns his wary gaze on her instead, she smiles, perfectly demure. “Captain Rex was kind enough to stand in for you when I visited my favorite tailor. A senator needs a wardrobe, after all.”

The costume version of the Red Robin uniform that Cass provided Jason with has been altered to fit his proportions. The fabric is form-fitting but not uncomfortable, and the bandoliers snap across his chest without issue… except for the sordid way they frame his pecs. Between the chest action, the absence of a cup, and the feathered cape, he really feels like he's about to turn tricks. But, well… he can't complain. At least he has it better than Tim.

The planetary security forces have captured a Sith, and Maul has nothing but a bad feeling about this.

“You’re trans,” Alex said, not a question, a statement. “Yes,” He said firmly, his arms moving to cross over the binder that’d stopped Alex in his tracks, “I assumed you knew, because of the club and would be fine with it-“ “Wait-“ Alex’s mind was spinning and he was trying to find the words, but Henry just kept talking. “-But maybe I was wrong. There are plenty of cis guys who don’t want to sleep with trans people-“ “-Henry-“ “-I just thought you were better than that,” He snapped, reaching for his shirt before Alex grabbed his wrist to stop him. “No- Henry, wait. I just…” And in a moment of panic, he tugged off his own shirt, bringing the fabric over his head and revealing the matching scars on each side of his chest. Henry’s eyes widened and he straightened up, “I thought… I thought you knew. I just, I didn't know you were…” OR T4T Firstprince...

“May I ask what does Your Highness mean with… being otherwise involved?” Oberyn sends him a look that makes Loras’s knees go weak. “Well, Ellaria met this one girl in the harbour the other day. Commanding an Ironborn warship or something like that. And they… did like each other.” He shrugs. “She isn’t really the kind of woman I fancy, but as I said, we don’t begrudge each other the occasional straying. Unless we both like them, of course.” “Of course,” Loras replies. “Which means that she… won’t be here?” “No,” Oberyn replies, “most likely for a couple of days. Are you asking just out of curiosity?” “Maybe,” Loras answers, his throat feeling still fucking dry, “it’s not curiosity. But… I think Your Highness should like to stray with me, or have I understood wrong?” Or: in which Oberyn doesn't lose his duel and Loras goes to Dorne instead of staying in King's Landing.