[[... porn.]] Or, the one where Steve wants to talk to Tony about something important.

Steve's fairly certain that he should find his current situation stranger than he does. He's still surprised, of course, and a little embarrassed, to find himself sitting with two highly trained assassins and an extraterrestrial who lends his name to a weekday while one of the world's greatest scientific minds purrs seductively to another about how they're all going to take turns fucking his ass, but not nearly as much as he'd have anticipated.

It isn't that Tony doesn't like Bruce. He just happens to also have a few fantasies about the other guy.

Gamzee sits there all to grinning, because he gets this by now, he does: Equius says Do you want me to when he means I fucking want to so bad I can't fucking stand it, like getting all close to what he wants would make it snap like one of his motherfucking robots. Seems like, if you pity a brother with a hangup like that, about the only motherfucking thing to do is take the decisions right the fuck out of his strong hands.

This isn't a thing Equius does; surrendering to impulses is for other people. He has always been one to measure, to strategize, to rein himself in as best he can. It was a necessity. Even his liaisons to satisfy the drones were more matters of negotiation and restraint than unbridled passion, adequate but not exceptional. But as Strider follows him out of the hangar and down the corridor, it's all Equius can do not to turn on him, not to attack him right there, not to pin him to the wall with hands around his throat and knee between his thighs.

They've been hooking up for more than a year, undefined and mostly unspoken, when Johnny first speaks French in bed with Kaner.

Stiles and Derek have phone-sex while Stiles is away at college.

Derek always gets stuck between making too much noise or just gasping silently. He knows he’d been making noise earlier; when Stiles walked them both into the bedroom he’d been humming into kisses and mumbling dry responses to Stiles saying he “had plans”; when Stiles tugged at his clothes he remembers he’d said something meant to pass for controlled about patience that had made Stiles roll his eyes. And when Stiles pulled his mouth off Derek’s dick with a slurp so lewd it had to be at least half on purpose and told him to roll over with his voice gone rough, Derek’s sure he’d breathed out, “Yeah. Yeah okay.”

So the first time Stiles got Derek on his back, worked him open and pressed inside with the long exhale of a perfect fit, he wasn't expecting the sound. Sure when they exchange handjobs, or blowjobs, or any other kind of orgasm, Derek can get a little vocal – sometimes even demanding in a hesitant sort of way – but the deep moans, the sharp grunts, the cursing and the constant use of Stiles' name was not expected.

Shawn goes undercover at a BDSM club and runs into Lassiter. He assumes Lassiter is undercover as well. He's wrong.

Derek comes back to Beacon Hills for a number of reasons. The most important one, though, is the result of a one night stand in Vegas. He's knocked up and Alpha, and Cora won't stop playing Papa Don't Preach whenever she gets to pick the music in the car. This shit just keeps happening to him. Or, in which Derek gets the D, Stiles gets the D, then Derek gets Stiles's D.

Tim really, really likes it when Jason comes inside him.

kchanlp: NaruSasu + Itachi. Maybe hipster? In which big brother has to teach Sasuke how he should first and foremost close the goddamn door when his goddamn boyfriend is in his room doing goddamn... things.

"Armin," Eren says, flexes his hands on Armin's hips. "What. Do you. Want?"

Alec wants something, but he's not sure what it is. Eliot figures it out.

Is it even possible for penises to develop Stockholm syndrome?

Dorian rolls onto his side to face him, squinting in the mid-morning light. "You wanted to talk, last night. So talk." "Mm, not like this." Bull cracks his neck, stretches his free arm above his head. Dorian doesn't even pretend he's not watching the muscles shift in Bull's shoulder. "You don't talk about sex in bed."

"Yes. Plan. I have a plan."

Tony’s almost at the door of his lab when he hears it. It’s low, throaty; just a split second of a thing. But it’s undoubtedly the sound of Barnes moaning.

“I simply don’t believe it,” Dorian tells him shaking his head. “No one can make a man come without touching him, Ben-Hassrath mind tricks or not.”

"I need to—" you can't, you can't say it with Mituna there. "It's my mutation," you say instead. "There are complications." "Okay, dude, open the door," Latula says. The knob rattles, and you miss whatever Mituna says next. "Yeah, I know, but he's still one of us. We can't just let him suffer, you know?" (Kankri misses a social outing. Some of his friends come to check up on him.)

Honestly you don't give two shits what the kid looks like. Your audience will go for it even if you get someone who got beaten half to death with the troll ugly stick. The picture loads. You're going to make so much alien fetish money you're going to have to hire somebody to build a swimming pool on the roof, just so you can fill it with sleazy intergalactic flesh trade dollars and roll around in it like an asshole.

Equius grew tired of the solitude of his workshop and decided to venture out to the castle that appeared in his bubble in search of the company of another. What he found was far from what he could have ever expected.

The dishes need doing. They're not the only thing.

Crown Prince Obito elopes with the blacksmith’s son. Madara hardly expects his day to get worse from there, but he forgot to factor in his ridiculous brother, his nephew’s cunning, and the return of a distractingly attractive sea god he’d really rather remain in his past. There's only one direction for things to go from there, and it’s definitely not up.

Usually I’m not the kinda guy to end things prematurely, but you may have noticed that a certain scene in my movie (I know you know the one I mean) got cut off before it really had a chance to get started. So here it is, for all your perverted pegging pleasure: my full-length, uncut account of International Women’s Day.

Zoro is confident in saying that Sanji is a man who doesn’t do what he’s told. Which is why, when a command accidentally slips from Zoro’s lips during foreplay, he is expecting to hear the cook’s scoff as he continues to do what he pleases.

ib a post on tumblr: yeah power bottom viktor is nice but what about loud needy bottom viktor who can't shut his moans no matter how hard he tries because yuuri fucks him just too good and he just lets yuuri do everything

Stiles gets a workout.

In which a species of alien flower plays matchmaker. Or, the obligatory sex pollen story.

In which Yamamoto has cause to go undercover with Bianchi and discovers something about himself.

One might think that after spending six years serving as a Galaxy Garrison senior officer, leading dozens of dangerous missions into enemy territory, personally overseeing the deaths of Zarkon’s highest generals, and getting his arm blown off only to be replaced by a weaponized prosthetic against his will, Shiro would be prepared for anything the Universe threw at him. He was not prepared for Keith and Lance.

With a trembling breath, Genma pries his fingers off of Kurama’s skin, reaches up and strokes a hand through Raidō’s hair. Every muscle feels like water, but when Raidō smiles at him he smiles back, cups a hand around the back of Kurama’s head, and gets out, “A plus on your first threesome. Excellent job, top marks. Holy fuck.”

“You sure you want to do this?” Kurama rumbles. Underneath him, Shisui makes a strangled sound, sucking in a hard breath and squeezing his eyes shut. “Oh gods, please don’t do the voice thing or there won't be anything to do.”

This is about to get very meta but it does not necessarily depict real life events and/or my actual opinions about the lovely fanfic on this site.

or, why Eddie Brock can never return to his favorite coffee shop

He can feel them both everywhere, standing between the two of them like this. He can feel the way the sweat drips down his back, Simon’s breath on his back, the hard surface of the boat under his hands.

Anne and Dan want to help Eddie and Venom find a new source of phenethylamine. Did you know it’s produced by a bacterium commonly found in human genitals? That’s a FACT.

Simone grins wider and runs her other hand through his hair. “Okay, here’s your warning. You’re gonna eat me out, and then I’m gonna ride you.” Brian’s dick twitches in her hand and Pat groans from the bed and she laughs. “Seems like everyone thinks that’s a great idea, so…”

Shiro is waiting for Keith on the bridge when Matt comes to say hello. Keith finds them in a compromising looking position, which accidentally opens up a new world of possibilities. Written for Kinktober Day 4 - Spitroasing

“Hey, by the way,” Bucky says, “what’s the most times you’ve ever made Steve come in a row?”

A hand pressed into the hollow of his hips, stroked the skin there. He shuddered, thrusting up, but couldn’t move. His ass was long since open and stretched, but the man hadn’t fucked in; his cock was long since hard and weeping, but the man hadn’t let him cum. All he had done, for long minutes, was whisper praise into his skin. Jiang Cheng was going to break.

Back at home, when he has time to examine it more closely, it quickly becomes obvious why this ritual never turned up in all his early research. It's not a typical soul summoning ritual. It's not a cultivation ritual at all; as Nie Huaisang puzzles through it, the closest category he can put it in is folk magic...not only that, but sex magic.

When Wei Ying comes up with a new request, Lan Wangji learns something new about himself: he actually really likes bottoming.

“We have to get up?” Wei Wuxian prompts him. Lan Wangji nods. “Jiang Wanyin said the Wen Clan will be brought in to the conference.” In his arms, Wei Wuxian stiffens. He shakes himself out of Lan Wangji’s hold, sitting upright and brushing his hair back from his face. Incongruous with his love-kissed body and the golden light shining over his skin, his eyes sharpen. A glint, dark as obsidian, replaces the dreamy clouds of a moment before. Lan Wangji mourns the simple happiness, even as he leans in to look at those eyes. “We should go,” Wei Wuxian says. His voice is soft rain, the promise of an oncoming storm. Hanguang-Jun shocks the Four Great Clans by standing beside the Yiling Patriarch and performing a ritual to prove that Wei Wuxian remains on the righteous path. If only every problem could be solved by so simple an act.

Ribbons & Bells ❀ Flowers (Lotus & Lillies) His core is gone. Wei Wuxian has been captured. Jiang Cheng has only one choice left if he has any hope of defeating the Wens, and that's to pray to the gods — the Twin Jades of Gusu.

“Are you trying to propose to me, Zhan-ge?” Yibo asks, lifting his eyebrows. Xiao Zhan laughs, the sound slightly wheezing. “At dinner…” He runs his thumb over the ring, biting down on his lip. “It was cute. You were acting like Yixing’s trophy husband.” His voice probably isn’t as light as he means it to be. It’s too rough around the edges for a joke. Still, the description makes Yibo stick his lower lip out in a frown. “I wouldn’t have if you weren’t ignoring me,” he says. “I wasn’t ignoring you.” He cups his hand around Yibo’s chin, their lips hovering close together again. “I was watching.”

“All you need to do is be a good boy. Can you do that for me?” With Lan Wangji’s eyes covered, Wei Wuxian cannot help but take note of the way it highlights his other features, such as the gentle slope of his nose, the sharp angle of his jawline, and his plush full lips, just waiting to be kissed. “Yes,” Lan Wangji replies, a beat quicker than usual. He tilts his head up in a silent request. “Wei Ying?” Wei Wuxian crawls up Lan Wangji’s body until he hovers above him, close but not enough to touch. Despite still being fully clothed, Wei Wuxian can feel Lan Wangji’s bare skin radiating heat. “What do good boys say when there’s something they want?” “...Please.”

Lan Wangji is going to die. Lan Wangji is going to die, and it isn’t even a hyperbole; she is entirely ready to collapse in her seat like a marionette with its strings cut off. The vibrator inside her pulses, and Lan Wangji can barely stop herself from lurching forward and letting out a loud groan. She resists a glance at the row of seats behind her; she knows that Wei Ying is there, watching, and she isn’t entirely sure she isn’t going to come at the sight of Wei Ying’s lazy little smirk. Truly—the things Wei Ying has made her do—shameless. (or; Lan Wangji wears a vibrator to class at the behest of her fuckbuddy Wei Ying, and it ends up a lot hotter and more emotional for both of them.)

Yuuri Katsuki's stamina is inhuman. Victor will just need to resort to inhuman help to wear him out.