'There was only one thing worse than Dave Strider's smug motherfucker act, and it was his smug motherfucker act after he'd won a bet.' In which Karkat has lost a bet to Dave and turns paying up into payback.

IT HAS RECENTLY COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT INTERSPECIES RELATIONS ARE RAPIDLY DEVOLVING INTO SLOPPY MAKEOUTS THAT THREATEN TO BECOME DISGUSTINGLY MORE INTIMATE. IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP YOU IDIOTS FROM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT OVER WEIRD XENOBIOLOGY AND EMBARRASSING EVERYONE IN THE WORST WAYS POSSIBLE, I HAVE COMPILED THIS GUIDE, WHICH SHOULD BE SHORT ENOUGH THAT EVEN THOSE OF YOU WITH THE ATTENTION SPANS OF SMALL INSECTS SHOULD BE ABLE TO READ IT ALL IN ONE SITTING.

"They just watch," John says, kicking the mop bucket into the broom closet after a hard day's asteroid-cleaning. "I guess chores are like a spectator sport for trolls? It's pretty weird! But... that's trolls for you!"

Dave was…off since he’d seen the alternate teenage version of his bro in person. For the most part he seemed okay, and Karkat couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was that was off about him, but there was something.

*wife *actnion *actino *action Roxy and Tavros roleplay as husband and wife. It goes about as well as you'd expect. Written for the kink meme!

It's a cross between an office romance and a hostile alien takeover, and it ends just the way you would expect.

'Zelena had said that if they did not obey her, if they betrayed her, she would kill their child. But there is no force in this or any other realm greater than love- And Mulan finds him first.' In which Mulan goes to extraordinary lengths to protect Aurora's child and falls in love along the way.

The Apini Queen recognizes Jupiter's sovereignty. (Or: Space Bees, the ficlet.)

"So what's an ashen kiss like, then?" Karkat demonstrates various quadrant-appropriate kisses to Jade.

"Umm, I don't need to be a troll to notice that hating on each other makes you guys miserable." -- mitsuhachiinthehive asked: Jade c3< karkat c3< sollux, first kiss.

If the request meme thing is still on may I request some harleybert sandwiches with Vantas-filling?

This might as well happen, right? Get possessed by an alien parasite, save the world, get fucked by an alien parasite… it’s all in the same vein. It’s not like this is any more fucked up than the rest of it.

“Are those even practical?” Iruka hisses, unable to tear his eyes away from his mission partner.

Agen digs his fingers into the silver-veined bark, smiling a little. Pushes upright, flicking his hair back behind his shoulder, and pulls his outer robe off, draping it over a branch. “A trooper in distress,” he says, stepping forward. “I believe Jedi are supposed to rectify such things.” Two pairs of dark eyes snap to him, and Fives's widen with glee. He wriggles harder under Echo's pinning weight, like a landed fish, and cries, “General Kolar, help! I'm being overrun!”