The Full Metal Alchemist, of course, accepted his assignment with all the gravity due his station.

Neal knows a very sad story about a thief and a sailor. Peter's still stuck on pirates.

Arinye wanted a Stargate SG1/Avatar xover. I've only watched the first few seasons of Stargate so... this takes place in season 2 of Stargate and Season 3 of Avatar. :)

"Adam has been a unicorn activist for four years and an honest to god recording artist for eight months when he goes to throw his trash in the dumpster one night and finds a baby unicorn hiding behind the recycling bin."

From: Xander To: all Slayers Re: using the computers in the library

"There are a lot of things John hates about his job."

Eliot is an Immortal. Everybody copes.

And then Hardison clicks to the next slide. "Of course, now the company had been bought by the Wayne Enterprises," he says slowly and pointedly, and all the others suddenly sit up, the focus of their attention shifting and narrowing. "No," Sophie says. Eliot nods once, sharply, and Parker does a rather good impression of one of those boggling-head-dolls, agreeing completely.

This story starts, as many of the greatest stories in history do, with a talking frog. You could argue that it starts sometime before that, with a vampire that's been turned into a puppet. According to Eliot, the word again should be tagged onto the end of that sentence. Or you could argue that it starts with that said puppet walking into a bar.

Avengers at the State Fair: “What is Thor eating?” James asked. “Walking taco. With … ice cream.” "How many tickets did Coulson give him?” "Too many.”

It all began when Ms. Frizzle got the letter from her niece.

"Penis doodles are encouraged on all homework. Awful innuendos are allowed. Extra credit if you can get me to laugh at them. And don't hit on me unless you're legal, 'cause I got crazy shit for that last time." (or, what Patrick Kane would be like as a sex ed instructor)

"On the bright side," Dick says as he shimmies down the building, "You didn't raise a group of homicidal, raging, vengeful killers and sociopaths so much as you raised a group of emotionally-volatile, obsessive, spiteful vigilantes and paper pushers."

"Why does Ra's know how old my piercings are?" Tim asks, and does he know where they are.

Looking at the contemplative expression on Lucifer's face, Sam thinks that this has the potential to be either very bad, or completely awesome. Two humans and two archangels in the Cage.

Lucifer's cage is kind of cramped quarters.

Cards Against Humanity is not a good game to play with the Avengers, just not for the reasons that Clint was expecting.

Naruto has a secret. So does Sasuke. And Sakura. Just how were the genin teams picked again?

The SNK characters' happy reincarnated life is rudely interrupted by kaiju marching out of the Pacific. They are 100% done with this crap.

The Aegis swings by Earth with a request of Her Royal Highness every once in a while.

THOMAS is the gladers' one hope of escaping the maze. He's also a brain in a jar.

Cassandra stumbles across a secret literature-exchange society in Skyhold. She disapproves, of course. Deeply. (That person who keeps prompting for crossovers with characters out of Varric's novels? Not her.)

"Once upon a time in Fire Country, O my Best Beloved, three Ninjas went on a D-rank mission to retrieve a Cat..." A tale in the style of Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories. Very silly.

Deadpool vs. Kylo Ren. The conclusion is foregone.

Despite the fact that Nozaki constantly insists that he’ll follow Ken-san to any department, they hadn’t quite figured that he meant it. That was mistake number one. Letting Nozaki-kun have free rein when it came to positioning them for his artwork, that was mistake number two.

They were starving. That was reason enough for Zeff to open the Baratie's doors and feed them, whoever the hell they were.

It starts when he’s five, when his mother brings home a bag of fortune cookies and explains what the strips of paper inside them are for.

GEEK CHORUS Holy shit. These guys are great. MACIEJ Singular! It's just little ol' me over here. GEEK CHORUS This dude is like Tom Hardy. He can't possibly be real. Maybe we should try this Pinboard thing out. LONGTIME PINBOARD USERS What's this? People are bookmarking fanfic on our website? Whatever will we do? MACIEJ I dunno guys, maybe try "/search/?query=bigboypanties+&mine"?

In which Tsuna’s the Corpse Whisperer. (Or: In the months he spends at the Varia Compound at Timoteo’s behest, Tsuna manages to stumble across enough forgotten dead bodies to fill entire cemeteries. And everyone is terribly amused. Except, y’know, for him.)

Jason has small, meaningless interactions with his family. The media outlets of Gotham disagree.

“Aw, come on,” says Anakin, glaring at the dice as if they’ve personally offended him. “You roll twenties for Ahsoka and not for me? I own you, you fuckers, the least you could do is do me a favor every once in a while.” or: Anakin Skywalker's terrible luck strikes again at the worst time.

Hibari Kyouya travels in time and takes over the world. Basically crack.

“-my mother was not Lyanna fucking Stark!” Jon exclaimed, before turning and kicking, vehemently at the sofa, enough to leave brown dustmarks on the purple cloth. He turned back to her, lifting a finger threateningly. “I don’t care what you say. But our father would never- never- sleep with his sister, in fact I don’t even know why I’m telling you this because guess what, Sansa? You should already know that!” [Sansa tries to tell Jon who his mother is. Jon thinks he’s an incest-baby. Which........ isn’t wrong.]

Itachi was a good looking troubled teenager left to wander the country unsupervised in the company of a group of insane criminals. He may have made a few questionable decisions involving alcohol and women. It is also worth noting that no-one actually got around to explaining the use of a condom to him. The results are depressingly predictable. Or the one where Itachi missed shinobi sex ed and ended up creating spawn across half the elemental nations, which Sasuke somehow ends up responsible for.

"So," User(s) panted, pulling out of the WSFS lawyer(s) and falling sideways onto the bed. "You'll let us say we all won Hugos now right?"

“If we get home, you mean,” the Jin sect junior muttered. “Where even are we? And who’s the guy playing Chenqing?” Wei Wuxian was mildly offended. Who in the world knew enough to recognize Chenqing on sight but couldn’t recognize him? “I’m pretty sure that’s Senior Wei,” the shorter Lan sect junior said. “Just, you know, not…Senior Mo.”

"You can't seriously be suggesting that we elect Sect Leader Yao to be Chief Cultivator!" “I don’t see the problem,” Nie Mingjue said, heroically maintaining a straight face despite the slightest curve in his eyes that indicated a man who knew exactly what the problem with his suggestion was. “According to all the stories I’ve heard him tell, Sect Leader Yao has been at the forefront of every action in the past few years, large or small - no matter where or how implausibly quickly he must have traveled to get there.”

“You are never allowed to do this again,” Jiang Cheng’s mother said, her voice harsh in the way that means she was scared, because she hated being scared. “Never again, you hear me?” “I hear you, a-niang,” Jiang Cheng said. “Did it live?” “Yes, of course it lived,” Madame Yu snapped. “You’re the one that nearly died! You can’t – death-sharing is a rare gift, A-Cheng, but you can’t use it too often, you hear me? Every time you use it, your own life gets shorter. You must never do it again. And you mustn’t tell anyone else about it! No one at all! Swear to me!” “I swear,” he said. “No one at all.”

It's a lovely morning in the capital, and you have acquired a horrible goose.

The children of the Sea have always chased after the horizon with a fire in their hearts that drove them ever forward to reach the place were the sky kisses the water. Not even death can stop the Will of D from echoing across the world. Sawada Tsunayoshi is the responsible older brother to three wild and mischievous little brothers. Tsuna loves them and they love him back. Now if only the world around them would stop catching fire so easily all the time, that would be fantastic. (The Will of D joins with the Flames of Sky in a Harmony that will bring forth the storm of change.)

“- and in one generation, they were all women, every single one of them!” “That seems remarkably unlikely,” Wen Ruohan remarked, and looked sidelong at Lan Qiren. “Don’t you think, Sect Leader Lan?” Lan Qiren had no idea the trouble his answer was about to cause.

“You scored very highly—” “As fuckin’ usual.” “—but your interpersonal skills are still unbelievably low. If you are going to be a pro hero you need to be capable of working on a team—sometimes even one composed of people you don’t like.” Aizawa seemed to have roused himself from the edge of sleep long enough to impart this wisdom to Blasty. “Whatever. Just tell me what I’m doing.” Bakugou didn’t seem very moved. Mina thought one might need a backhoe to achieve such a thing. Aizawa zipped himself up in his sleeping bag. “Go around the classroom and give everyone an honest compliment.”

Jin Guangshan has a certain reputation when it comes to bastard children - a reputation he lives up to when Meng Yao arrives at, and is summarily thrown out of, Jinlin Tower. Unfortunately for Jin Guangshan, his actions are witnessed by all the other sect leaders of the time...and Lan Qiren, at least, has some objections.

Something explodes on Promised Day.

“I’ll destroy a man for you,” he says breathlessly. Todoroki looks vaguely amused. “Good to know.” Midoriya passes the mug to Momo’s hands and then reaches up to put his hands on Todoroki’s cheeks so he can bring him down to eye-level. “No, listen. I will destroy a man for you.” Todoroki blinks at him, looking a little startled. “I have a seven year plan,” Midoriya elaborates terrifyingly. “O-kay?” he says throught his smushed cheeks. “Fuck Endeavor,” Midoriya says empathically. (Or: Midoriya has absolutely no filter when he's sleep deprived. That's it. That's the fic.)

When Aizawa Shouta walked into his new class and saw everybody calmly seated and chatting, as if they'd done this a million times already, he just knew this year was gonna be long. Or, Shouta strongly wishes he had expelled his whole class on Day One, because figuring out what the hell is going on with them just feels well above his pay grade.

"How do you feel about your father becoming the number one hero?" "He'll always be number two in my heart." In which Todoroki Touya grows up to be a hero, and channels his anger into pettiness instead of villainy.

This is so not Hawks's day. Rumi is getting antsy with his stalling, frowning as the faint light that filters up to them puts a gleam in her eye. Hawks needs a plan fast, and one that will convince the League he's at least tried to play their side when they inevitably show up to see him and Rumi wrecking the absolute shit out of their pet monster. "Okay," Hawks says, "This is gonna sound real weird, but I need you to punch me in the face. It's for - " CRACK!

Sometime between the end of the war and when Fox got shot, Coruscant Guard CMO Basher got their hands on the good drugs. That was the only explanation, really. Someone (Thorn) also made the mistake of giving Fox a datapad.

"I'm not paranoid!" Haruta hisses, eyes darting everywhere. "Ace is either the best liar I've ever met, or--well, he's not, because if he was I wouldn't suspect anything, but I do, I suspect he's a spy!" The Life and Times Of Portgas D Ace, Totally A Marine Spy