"Adam has been a unicorn activist for four years and an honest to god recording artist for eight months when he goes to throw his trash in the dumpster one night and finds a baby unicorn hiding behind the recycling bin."

“Oh my god, Obito, I don’t care that you keep turning our roommates into mindless zombies devoted to serving your will, but in the name of everything holy, at least stop putting them in thrall when you're singing Taylor Swift songs in the shower.”