Rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony

College AU! Cause of...the fun. ;)

From the fratboy!Arthur universe. What the title says.

Two indecent exposure citations, one best friend, one amazing sex partner, one unexpected mentor, and a Starfleet-funded study of intercultural sexual norms. Sounds like a normal academic year for Gaila.

College is weird. Especially when you're supposedly dating the big man on campus. This was never covered in orientation.

Derek's always knew that Stiles is in love with him. But only when Stiles left for college he realizes that he feels the same way. When Stiles comes back home for vacation smelling like he belongs to someone else Derek loses it.

Steve Rogers is the new hire at the Stan Lee Marvel University’s History department.

Dave can't talk dirty without making a fool of himself; to no one's surprise, Karkat is a screamer; and in summary, Dave and Karkat are terrible people to room next to.

Since the universe knows just how terrible Karkat Vantas is, the unseen forces of fate decide to make him live with Dave Strider. Little did he know that Mr. Insufferable Prick would end up being the main reason he survived college.

She's silhouetted in the bright morning light; a shining angel that sets off your headache almost immediately and proclaims Hark ye, maiden of the grain and grapes, today will be a Day Moste Shittey.

Normally, Laura is perfectly willing to delicately coach her baby brother through the endless labyrinth of his emotional manpain, but Laura’s dissertation is due in two days and she just flat out doesn’t have the time.

It’s extra great—whenever Jo’s losing, she always makes like their running point tally competition isn’t real. Tonight’s true to form: when Trish holds up three fingers and points at herself, then two before pointing at Jo, Jo actually scoffs as she pokes at a couple chicken breasts with the tongs, trying to find the best one.

duosthefangirl asked: College AU where Karkat and Equius are dating and Karkat ends up accidentally admitting that he loves Equius' hair to the point of it nearly being a kink. mixed with Anonymous asked: Equikat, everyone’s a dom or sub AU.

Though if Hiccup had to be completely honest, he wasn’t here for the lecture. Something something boring matrices; right, like that was going to pull him out of bed. Such riveting stuff. No, the only reason that Hiccup was here at this ungodly hour and willing to put up with the droning from the professor was for the guy he sat next to.

It's hard being a graduate student, trying to write a thesis, create a revolutionary computer program, or prove the existence of dragons while living in a shitty apartment with your two girlfriends. It's hard, but at least your girlfriends understand.

Danny adjusted to college life quickly, eventually working his way into the amateur porn industry. Things are going great until he unwittingly books a shoot with Stiles.

"Well, you're a werewolf," Stiles says. Kevin has always had a pretty good poker face, but Stiles takes him completely by surprise, enough that there's a tell-tale pause that lasts a beat too long for the, "No I'm not," to be believed.

One of Stiles' goals for Thanksgiving weekend is to take advantage of the privacy away from his crowded dorm rooms to get to know his new vibrator. He gets, uh, stuck. Deputy Derek Hale assists.

15 texts that were never sent in Westeros.

Jason Grace gets naked for science.

He’s Dave motherfuckin’ Strider. He saved two—no, three, kind of—universes and has made out with aliens, okay? He has made time his bitch, died for his cause time and time again, and had an ultimate rap off with an Insane Clown Posse wannabe while the fucker was on a murder spree. He doesn’t give two shits what other people think of him.

You've been... you don't know, study buddies, something stupid like that, for most of spring semester.

Equikat, everyone's a dom or sub AU. -- The thing with Equius is, he's huge, and he's ripped, and he has a low, carrying voice, and he's bossy as fuck. Before he started wearing Karkat's collar he let people who were not directly concerned assume whatever they wanted out of his hearing, and he never came back home weary, never went straight to Karkat's desk to kneel there at his feet, silent and drawn in and waiting for a hand to caress his hair like he was a statue on the verge of crumbling into dust and only Karkat's touch might ward off that fate.

"It's okay! We're just seducing you for better grades!" Poor Karkat, accosted by jailbait. What a tragic life a TA leads.

The sign, standing unassuming outside the Grand Line Coffee Shop in a handwriting Sanji recognizes as Usopp’s, says: TODAY YOUR BARISTA IS: 1. Hella fucking gay. 2. Desperately single. FOR YOUR DRINK TODAY I’D RECOMMEND: You give me your number. Or, the one coffee shop au where Usopp pulls a prank, Sanji is unexpectedly (read: completely unexpected to him and only him) popular among the male population of their campus, and Zoro just wants to grab a coffee.

Allison isn’t sure what, exactly, she was expecting from college, but it wasn’t an instant live-in best friend and an immediate invitation to a party.

In the game of gay xenochicken there are no losers, which explains why you are currently trying to stick your hands down Sollux's pants.

“Actually we’re open,” he explained. He didn’t get it. “Open?” “To having sex with strangers.” Wait— Oh. Oh.

Alistair would really like for everyone to stop acting like he and Zevran are dating. Where do people come up with this stuff??? For an anon on tumblr who wanted 1,000 words of Alistair and Zevran being That Couple. :)

“Independence is happiness.” – Susan B. Anthony Bella chooses life and finds herself in the process.

Four times Lan Zhan walks in on his roommate masturbating.

Lan Wangji is going to die. Lan Wangji is going to die, and it isn’t even a hyperbole; she is entirely ready to collapse in her seat like a marionette with its strings cut off. The vibrator inside her pulses, and Lan Wangji can barely stop herself from lurching forward and letting out a loud groan. She resists a glance at the row of seats behind her; she knows that Wei Ying is there, watching, and she isn’t entirely sure she isn’t going to come at the sight of Wei Ying’s lazy little smirk. Truly—the things Wei Ying has made her do—shameless. (or; Lan Wangji wears a vibrator to class at the behest of her fuckbuddy Wei Ying, and it ends up a lot hotter and more emotional for both of them.)

When Song Lan comes back to the dorm room for the evening, he finds a present on his bed wrapped up just for him.

“It’s Friday night,” Yanli says, a warm teasing note in her voice. “Shouldn’t you be doing something more fun than studying chemistry?” “What are you doing?” Wen Qing asks, stung. “You’re just hanging out in your dorm, right?” “Mm,” Yanli says, the warmth still in her voice. Wen Qing can almost imagine her stretching like a cat as she says it, one of those long dancer’s legs lifting high. It’s a hot night; maybe she’s wearing those tiny grey stretch shorts she wears when she comes right from dance class to the dining hall, barely peeking out under a long t-shirt. Wen Qing has thought about those shorts a lot.

fucked up if true! @fuitpodcast A podcast about organized crime, cults, and other legally questionable things! Also featuring: an improbable number of references to the power of friendship, a cat (alleged), and occasional expert interviews! Updates on a schedule known only to the people who make the academic calendar. Hosted by Enma (@10gravities) and Tsuna (twitterless and proud) academic racoon in a trenchcoat @getyerproblems Do they know they’re being recorded? Tsuna and Enma have a podcast. The fandom has a few theories, and a LOT of questions.

Having a crush on your roommate is really embarrassing, except that's apparently the opposite of a problem. Jiang Cheng can't deny that's pretty convenient. Wei Ying holds it up, a series of straps and buckles and velcro and wow, really a lot of leather. It has absolutely no conceivable form beyond tangled. Nie Huaisang opens the door at exactly the moment that Wei Ying holds the thing up to Jiang Cheng’s chest, as if he’s trying to imagine how exactly it would fit onto a person, and it falls into a tangled pile between them while they stare at Huaisang in mild mortification.

Peters clapped him on the shoulder. "Try to find a way to...if not relax, then decompress. Take a day for yourself once in a while, don't worry about hockey or school or anything." Sid hesitated. "Is that an order, or...?"

Jack Eichel has 99 problems and Connor McDavid is... well. More of them than he thinks. In which Jack hates Connor McDavid, who he's never met, quietly pines after the cute girl he always sees in the gym, and has no idea that these two things are related.

John cracks an eye open, and Thatcher is shucking off his jeans, kicking them underneath the desk. He’s wearing – well, John catches a glimpse of lace as Thatcher pulls his sweatpants back on. Tight, navy lace stretched out over his ass.

Jon is not used to wanting anything, much less something he might be allowed to have. 

Aizawa Shouta is a part-time college student and, more recently, an EMT in training. He doesn't have the funds to call Tokyo home and never did, but how he ends up renting a room from nationally acclaimed author Yagi Toshinori is anybody's guess. Yagi is kind, and rich, travels a lot for conferences and has a very fat cat named Dumpling. Shouta loves Dumpling. He also loves leaving the door open when he's dressing, because he knows Yagi-san is looking.

Nami has practically lived with Zoro since their freshman year of undergrad. In all that time, she's never seen him bring anyone home.

The first time Luffy walks into the Baratie with Usopp and Zoro during lunch rush, Sanji has to go stand in the walk-in freezer to scream into his hands. He wants to tell Zoro to get the fuck out. He cannot tell Zoro to get the fuck out, because that’s unreasonable and rude. Just because Zoro is—unfortunately—Sanji’s type in men doesn’t mean Sanji can act like a child around him. See, Sanji wasn't gay until he met Gin. Gin wasn't gay, either. What they did together was everything from "practice" to "just some fun" to "giving a friend a hand" (or mouth, or hole). But they certainly, absolutely were not boyfriends because Gin was straight and Sanji was straight. It was perfect, until Sanji had to go and ruin it by liking it too much. He flew too close to the gay-sun and his not-gay wings of wax melted, go fucking figure.

"You paid for the deluxe package," Neil says as he scrolls through his payment history to find his client's invoice. His system is simple: Basic Package: Fuck you. A general statement of displeasure and a brief description of the wrongdoing. Intermediate Package: Fuck you, with passion. Everything in the basic package, but with additional insults. Customizable for an extra fee. Deluxe Package: Fuck you to hell. Everything from the first two packages, for an extended period of time, and with extra viciousness. And it looks like Andrew Minyard is the unlucky soul today.

Hizashi treats it like a stim toy; absently running his fingers up and down the lips, circling the clit and tapping over the entrance when he starts to feel wetness against his fingertips. He pauses, lifting it to his face and, sure enough, the once dry pink silicone is glistening with slick.

Henry had a secret. It wasn't some world-ending secret that would get him shunned from society or abandoned by all his friends, but it was a secret nonetheless. Erotica. It was his guilty pleasure. His hobby. Books full of lewd words and mouth-watering phrases that made his hand press down against the front of his slacks and brought his bottom lip between his teeth. It was his porn, his thing. He liked the imagination, liked the way the words twisted on the page and that it didn't need to be realistic because you didn't need to watch it happen. He let his mind conjure up the images as his eyes scanned the text. OR Alex finds Henry's erotica...

“How long has it been since someone else made you cum?” Alex asked, his head tilted to the side, cutting Henry off when he began to open his mouth, “That doesn’t include you having to touch yourself or having… Mechanical help.” Henry winced at that, the vivid memory of Alex sheepishly knocking on his door and relaying that he could, in fact, hear the loud, incessant buzzing of Henry's vibrator from his room across the hall flashing through his head, “I don't know. Maybe like… Fuck, maybe never?” Alex’s eyes widened for a second, his mouth opening and closing like he couldn't find the words, “Are you kidding?” OR Henry is trans and has quite literally never had a good lay in his life... Alex is completely and utterly in love with him and certainly eager to help.

It's just a thing, a funny little anomaly in his DNA that he has to compensate for. Realistically, there are people out there who are allergic to peanuts and strawberries and gluten - and thus, practically two-thirds of the world's joy - so comparatively, Jensen's always figured he had it easy. But that was before Jared Padalecki.

[oh my god, they were soulmates?!] Tim’s soulmate likes some very odd things. It started off relatively mundane—Pokemon cards, chips, chocolate bars—but around Tim’s 14th birthday, things started to get weird. Tim started to feel the urge to collect what he could only describe as “paranormal investigator bullshit.”