Written for [info]dangomango for [info]help_pakistan. She requested something set in the same 'verse as Easy Access (which was written in response to a [info]blindfold_spn prompt a couple of rounds ago), with Dean getting off on watching Sam with a FC, but treating Sam as a girl rather than a guy. She most particularly requested Sam/FC scissoring and possessive!Dean with a side of reluctant!Sam. She had a lot of ideas, and I tried to do a good deal of them, but still keep it all true to the real spirit of Easy Access, which is basically impreg kink. This is really a little different than Easy Access -- so rather than a sequel, it is kind of a crazy mutated AU/"could-happen" cousin.

Tony is trying very hard to be the perfect boyfriend. Maybe too hard. But that's okay because Pepper has a simple solution to get Tony to relax and nurture his other relationships too. "Hello, Captain. What can I do for you?" "It's about Tony," he says immediately, his soldier's efficiency not allowing for any dallying. "We - the Avengers, that is - have some concerns."

Ronon watches over Bruce and Logan because Sheppard asks him to do so. Bruce and Tony like having Ronon around. Smut ensues, lots of slashy smut.

Bizarre alien peace rituals, drunken debacles, Jim Kirk's pornography, the phrase 'bet your sweet ass' taken way too literally, bar fights, everyone's favorite Orion and super advanced sex toys of the future you wish you had now. A love story.

Crackling quiet on the line for a second. "Are you serious?" Jake asks at last. "You've programmed that machine of yours to...?" He trails off but the question mark is audible.

Dirk laughs, presses his lips to the sweat-drenched nape of your neck, lets his teeth scrape the skin. "Don't worry, babe, I'm not going to leave you hanging. I've got something special for you. Get up."

John discovers a new and MUCH more entertaining way to fill his prankster's gambit.

When a second Tony Stark slips through from an alternate universe, Steve suddenly finds his hands very full.

eridan is so tolerable when he can't talk

Geno is sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why Sidney has a dresser drawer full of sex toys, but right now he's drawing a blank.

Derek doesn’t get why he likes it so much. It’s just not -- he hadn’t expected to need this. Not from Stiles. Not from anyone, ever. He doesn’t do this. Except he does, now. Because it’s for Stiles, and Derek -- fuck, he likes it too.

He likes the pain. There’s no point in denying it. The needle touches his skin and he likes the way it feels, the scratch and burn of it - he even likes the humming noise of the Stigma Rotary. Six hours later, Trespasser is staring at him from his left thigh.

One day Steve was going to figure out how Tony kept talking him into these things, he really was.

Sometimes a bubble bath and a glass of wine are exactly the wrong way to wind down.

Tony isn't so much introducing Steve to twenty-first century sex as enabling him. Steve already knows what he wants.

Wally walks in on Artemis taking care of a little business, and the dinner date gets put on hold.

From the 2011 kink meme. The prompt was: Han/Gisele, pegging It's Han's first time and he loves it.

Stiles accidentally finds a trunk full of Derek's professional dom gear from when he lived in New York. They don't talk about it. Then Stiles turns eighteen, and they do.

Derek sighs, envisioning Stiles pulling a file out of the nightstand and ruining whatever mood they might have managed to capture completely. What Stiles has in his hands when he turns back around is definitely not a file, though. Instead, it’s thick and black, curved into a wicked-looking c-shape with a small bullet vibrator jutting out of one end. “That is not what I was expecting,” Derek admits honestly. “Yeah, I can tell, you’re turning,” Stiles gestures to his own face, “you’re kind of, um, pink.”

Derek goes away to deal with a hostile rival pack, and Stiles calls him up to settle his nerves. “Ah, you feeling a bit stressed out big guy?” “Yes,” he says, voice raspy. “It’s okay. I’m going to take care of you right now."

As the base's resident expert on human culture, Sam had fumbled his way through some pretty awkward conversations, but even he didn't feel up to tackling the questions Bee would have once he learned that his best friend had somehow developed a fetish for alien robots.

There's a part of Derek that he hates most of all - it's only caused him trouble. He pushes people away and finds a workaround and it's fine, until the day Stiles goes searching through his things.

Homo sapiens domesticus Humans (Homo sapiens domesticus) are short-lived primates of the family Hominidae, and the only existant species of the genus Homo. They originated in Africa, and spread to other continents of planet Earth within a megavorn. While fractious and warlike in their wild state, they are easily trained to a useful function.

noviblue asked: 1. Bro/Signless (my rarepair

Shawn goes undercover at a BDSM club and runs into Lassiter. He assumes Lassiter is undercover as well. He's wrong.

"So, okay, Britta," Annie says, "this thing you gave me is seriously just a scrap of ripped looseleaf that says 'IOU one shopping spree at A Woman's Touch.' I do not even know what that is." Britta does an excited little leap in the air and claps her hands. "It's me deciding to help you discover your true womanhood."

kchanlp: NaruSasu + Itachi. Maybe hipster? In which big brother has to teach Sasuke how he should first and foremost close the goddamn door when his goddamn boyfriend is in his room doing goddamn... things.

It's three hours before JARVIS tells Steve that Tony is ready.

"Oh god," Pepper says. "Are you kidding me?"

It takes Stiles four days to notice something’s wrong. Well it’s not like jerking off three times a day is unusual behavior. The third day, he has his usual good morning session, comes straight home from Lacrosse and jerks off without even taking off his jeans because it’s laundry day tomorrow and it’s not like he’s got standards. And everyone jerks off last thing at night; it’s like a glass of warm milk for your dick. Stiles has been hit by a jerking off curse. He might not make it through May unscathed.

The boys are out and Coco's in a good mood.

Barry agrees to a deal with the devil and finds himself enjoying it a lot more than he expected.

One of Stiles' goals for Thanksgiving weekend is to take advantage of the privacy away from his crowded dorm rooms to get to know his new vibrator. He gets, uh, stuck. Deputy Derek Hale assists.

Shortly after Arthur is resurrected in the 21st century, he finds Merlin's vibrator. That's it. That's the plot.

And with his fingers pressing inside of him and his cock brushing against the sheets and his face in the leather that smelled like Derek, he felt pathetic and desperate all at once. He knew that if he ever got the chance (the opportunity) to be with Derek that he’d ask him to fuck him within half a second. He wanted the older man inside of him and around him and all over him until his senses were so consumed that he was completely senseless. or The five times Stiles fingered himself and the one time Derek did it for him.

It starts, like so many things do, with a dare.

Tony’s almost at the door of his lab when he hears it. It’s low, throaty; just a split second of a thing. But it’s undoubtedly the sound of Barnes moaning.

Dorian isn't interested. What a silly idea.

Summary: read the tags. that’s it, that’s the story. Or: Dorian gets a tattoo of The Iron Bull's name on his arse. And is then tagged in a completely different way.

Honestly you don't give two shits what the kid looks like. Your audience will go for it even if you get someone who got beaten half to death with the troll ugly stick. The picture loads. You're going to make so much alien fetish money you're going to have to hire somebody to build a swimming pool on the roof, just so you can fill it with sleazy intergalactic flesh trade dollars and roll around in it like an asshole.

This particular smuppet is sewn out of some kind of blatantly artificial orange microfiber, the nap of the plush so silky it almost feels slick. When you give it a squish the body seems more firm than his regular model, denser. Bro usually keeps his toys light, too fluffy to feel like anything but props and puppets, but this one’s pleasantly dense and heavy. You don’t think you’ll be ripping it apart as easily as the last few. And then, of course, there’s the unusual addition of a tail.

"I got you this." He sets a tiny box on the table between you and nudges it in your direction with psionics. You stare at it. It's the right size to hold a human-style commitment-designation ring, which you sometimes think would be a cool thing to have but as far as you know he's never been interested in. "For those times when I'm being a jackass and you need to snap me out of it." A little smile, a hint of the smug asslord creeping back in around the edges of the apologetic matesprit. "Or when you just want a shortcut to getting my attention."

Contains Pail-Free Xenosexual Relationships Between a Male Mutant Troll and Male Human for the Purpose of Exhibitionistic Sexual Gratification, Polyquadranted Individuals Presented in a Neutral or Positive Way, and Puppets Used in Several Perverted Ways, One of Those Puppets Depicting a Rad as Fuck Big-Nosed Allusion to Our Glorious Empress, Which She in Her Wisdom Has Allowed to Keep Existing Because Damn Straig)(t I Got Da Biggest One.

Karkat accidentally stumbles across Sollux's nookworm, and...well, he's always wanted to try one, so why the fuck not? A drabble based on two wonderful pieces of art by Syblatortue!

Sollux has been looking at you at least once every five minutes for the past hour, and you can tell by the way he's worrying his lip, hardly listening as John bullshits him about some shitty tech job he did last week, that he's just not going to last the night. You bet the fact that the buzzing between his legs is at a different tempo than the one playing over the speakers is really wearing thin on his patience.

Zoro has no problem speaking with things in his mouth. Sanji on the other hand...

Tim has a thing for buying sex toys (in bulk, Jason suspects) and Jason is constantly putting his foot in his mouth about what things his lover likes.

Stiles gets a workout.

One might think that after spending six years serving as a Galaxy Garrison senior officer, leading dozens of dangerous missions into enemy territory, personally overseeing the deaths of Zarkon’s highest generals, and getting his arm blown off only to be replaced by a weaponized prosthetic against his will, Shiro would be prepared for anything the Universe threw at him. He was not prepared for Keith and Lance.

“What’s the internet say about all this sexual tension?” Kuroo asks, and Kenma’s attention snaps back to the screen. “Nothing I didn’t see earlier. It should lessen over time, but it’s meant to cement the new bond between mated individuals. Through sex, I guess.” (( or: kenma must navigate his new and unwanted werewolf marriage with kuroo, and honestly, it would be a lot easier if they didn't get boners every time they made eye contact ))