Merlin tests new products for a sex toy company. Arthur is the head designer. It is his job to observe these tests, ask questions and take notes. It's all very professional and clinical, until Arthur gets hard during a session.

Steve sat there, frozen. It was clear that the popular student, probable wet dream of damn near every student in the school, who had no interest in Steve or his work, was trying to seduce him for a better grade. Steve wanted to snarl, wanted to spit because he was so angry. Thor really thought this would work? Steve was a good person, he had morals. There was no way he would accept such a...a sleazy, underhanded offer. And yet…if Steve was honest with himself, his hands hadn’t been the only thing to ache when he caught sight of Thor’s face or physique.

Peggy and Bucky get to grips with certain thoughts Bucky's been entertaining with regards to Steve and Tony. Part of Olympics 'Verse.

Homo sapiens domesticus Humans (Homo sapiens domesticus) are short-lived primates of the family Hominidae, and the only existant species of the genus Homo. They originated in Africa, and spread to other continents of planet Earth within a megavorn. While fractious and warlike in their wild state, they are easily trained to a useful function.

kchanlp: NaruSasu + Itachi. Maybe hipster? In which big brother has to teach Sasuke how he should first and foremost close the goddamn door when his goddamn boyfriend is in his room doing goddamn... things.

One of Stiles' goals for Thanksgiving weekend is to take advantage of the privacy away from his crowded dorm rooms to get to know his new vibrator. He gets, uh, stuck. Deputy Derek Hale assists.

Summary: read the tags. that’s it, that’s the story. Or: Dorian gets a tattoo of The Iron Bull's name on his arse. And is then tagged in a completely different way.

Contains Pail-Free Xenosexual Relationships Between a Male Mutant Troll and Male Human for the Purpose of Exhibitionistic Sexual Gratification, Polyquadranted Individuals Presented in a Neutral or Positive Way, and Puppets Used in Several Perverted Ways, One of Those Puppets Depicting a Rad as Fuck Big-Nosed Allusion to Our Glorious Empress, Which She in Her Wisdom Has Allowed to Keep Existing Because Damn Straig)(t I Got Da Biggest One.

One might think that after spending six years serving as a Galaxy Garrison senior officer, leading dozens of dangerous missions into enemy territory, personally overseeing the deaths of Zarkon’s highest generals, and getting his arm blown off only to be replaced by a weaponized prosthetic against his will, Shiro would be prepared for anything the Universe threw at him. He was not prepared for Keith and Lance.

“What’s the internet say about all this sexual tension?” Kuroo asks, and Kenma’s attention snaps back to the screen. “Nothing I didn’t see earlier. It should lessen over time, but it’s meant to cement the new bond between mated individuals. Through sex, I guess.” (( or: kenma must navigate his new and unwanted werewolf marriage with kuroo, and honestly, it would be a lot easier if they didn't get boners every time they made eye contact ))

Their first date is objectively pretty great. But later, when Bucky comes after Steve slides inside him and slaps him on the ass, Steve knows this is going to be fun.

Of all the wonderful things to come out of peace talks, Tobirama relishes Izuna's jealousy the most.

Noctis Lucis Caelum is evil, and he loves it when Prompto's body is a slave to his music.

Xiao Xingchen’s hip jerked toward the wand, but against the wide fix of the spreader bar between his knees, he had little leverage. Song Lan just moved the wand with him.

This has to count as some sort of sexual harassment, right? It’s got to be his idea of a joke, to subject Jiang Cheng to this “massage parlor”…! Massage parlor Jiang Cheng’s left buttcheek, this place is clearly sketchy as hell! If his masseuse doesn’t ask him if he wants a “happy ending” tonight, Jiang Cheng will gladly eat his shoe. -- Jiang Cheng has a Happy Ending

Lan Wangji is going to die. Lan Wangji is going to die, and it isn’t even a hyperbole; she is entirely ready to collapse in her seat like a marionette with its strings cut off. The vibrator inside her pulses, and Lan Wangji can barely stop herself from lurching forward and letting out a loud groan. She resists a glance at the row of seats behind her; she knows that Wei Ying is there, watching, and she isn’t entirely sure she isn’t going to come at the sight of Wei Ying’s lazy little smirk. Truly—the things Wei Ying has made her do—shameless. (or; Lan Wangji wears a vibrator to class at the behest of her fuckbuddy Wei Ying, and it ends up a lot hotter and more emotional for both of them.)

Nie Huaisang sends a video of his invention into the groupchat: “houston, we have a live one.” Mo Xuanyu replies within a split of a second: “omg, wig. can i make you a website to livestream?” or kinky twink gets buttplug hooked to twitter live data for science!

Mingjue has been working too much, so Huaisang brings him lunch and a special surprise. Huaisang's motives aren't entirely altruistic...

“It is fair.” Tang Fan says decisively, getting up, heading to the bedroom. “While I think about what kind of purchase that could make you act like this, you can think about whether it is worth keeping a secret.” or Sui Zhou goes on Tao/bao

If he hadn't seen a vibrating butt plug on top of the stack of "absolutely mission critical clothes" Wang Zhi had left for him, Sui Zhou would have dismissed the faint buzzing as a phone vibrating, and Tang Fan's look of shock as a surprising bite of food. It's not. He is definitely wearing a vibrating butt plug and it definitely just turned on. Sui Zhou is not sure what to do with this information.

Having a crush on your roommate is really embarrassing, except that's apparently the opposite of a problem. Jiang Cheng can't deny that's pretty convenient. Wei Ying holds it up, a series of straps and buckles and velcro and wow, really a lot of leather. It has absolutely no conceivable form beyond tangled. Nie Huaisang opens the door at exactly the moment that Wei Ying holds the thing up to Jiang Cheng’s chest, as if he’s trying to imagine how exactly it would fit onto a person, and it falls into a tangled pile between them while they stare at Huaisang in mild mortification.

Kaminari is going through a messy divorce, which has led to sending transcripts of his texts with his ex to his attorney. Shinsou is the attorney’s legal assistant, who has to go through said transcripts and black out all the explicit pictures before they can appear as exhibits in court. Reading through the sexts though, and they are GRAPHIC, Hitoshi starts to agree with the ex: he ALSO wants to ‘come on Denki’s tits’ and ‘shove his cock so far down Denki’s throat he’s coming directly into his stomach’.

“Can I help you pick something?” Andrew turned, ready to say no thank you and instead froze in place, the purple vibrator held chest height between him and the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen. The tag on his floral shirt read Good Vibrations and just underneath that, Neil. Neil stood there all open and relaxed, a gentle curve of pink lips, unruly auburn hair hovering over sparkling blue eyes. Andrew’s mouth snapped shut. He put the box carefully back on the shelf and walked out of the store without a word.

“How long has it been since someone else made you cum?” Alex asked, his head tilted to the side, cutting Henry off when he began to open his mouth, “That doesn’t include you having to touch yourself or having… Mechanical help.” Henry winced at that, the vivid memory of Alex sheepishly knocking on his door and relaying that he could, in fact, hear the loud, incessant buzzing of Henry's vibrator from his room across the hall flashing through his head, “I don't know. Maybe like… Fuck, maybe never?” Alex’s eyes widened for a second, his mouth opening and closing like he couldn't find the words, “Are you kidding?” OR Henry is trans and has quite literally never had a good lay in his life... Alex is completely and utterly in love with him and certainly eager to help.

Henry had a secret. It wasn't some world-ending secret that would get him shunned from society or abandoned by all his friends, but it was a secret nonetheless. Erotica. It was his guilty pleasure. His hobby. Books full of lewd words and mouth-watering phrases that made his hand press down against the front of his slacks and brought his bottom lip between his teeth. It was his porn, his thing. He liked the imagination, liked the way the words twisted on the page and that it didn't need to be realistic because you didn't need to watch it happen. He let his mind conjure up the images as his eyes scanned the text. OR Alex finds Henry's erotica...