The problem with being one of the good guys now is that when Eliot sees a gun being waved around, he feels like he needs to step in. Neal is suitably grateful.

Fury temples his fingers together. “Tell me how this started?” Phil tries to give a reasonable report of today's incident. As he spent most of his day trying to keep grade-school aged versions of his team away from a team of gunmen, he has only limited success.

The news report seems more interested in the argument between the team during the fight than the way they eventually won. And then it gets worse.

Tony gets that the others think this is an ego thing - the way he can’t resist pushing Steve’s buttons. Honest-to-God, the guy just bugs him. Mostly because Steve is distractingly perfect, but a little bit because of the family history.

“We had sex,” Clint says, bluntly. “Collectively.” [Written for Porn Battle; Warnings apply]

Darcy is maybe a little disappointed he didn't go for a dress. [Written for Porn Battle]

The blur has resolved itself into a man, mostly covered in red and blue, who turns his masked head and snarks cheerfully at Tony.

By Phil’s count, this is his third attempt at bringing the Avengers together, although he will admit his participation in the second attempt was more symbolic than anything else. He hadn’t expected Stark to be the easiest sell, or Barton to be the most problematic, but things have changed since he’s been away. [Movie spoilers.]

Around about the time Phillipa Jane told her middle-school teacher that Phil wasn’t a nickname, it was her name and not a difficult one to remember, she picked up a reputation. That hasn’t really gone away. [Always-female!Coulson/Clint]