Sasuke is a top-class bread maker invited to the set of Japan's number one culinary show where he meets the infamous-and deliciously sinful-pastry chef, Uzumaki Naruto. NaruSasu

For the sake of his pride, Jiraiya's going to imagine that his double went out in the bed of some voracious and lusty twins—no, make that triplets, with everyone wildly satisfied and a smile on his face. The whole alternate universe thing is easier to swallow that way.

kchanlp: NaruSasu + Itachi. Maybe hipster? In which big brother has to teach Sasuke how he should first and foremost close the goddamn door when his goddamn boyfriend is in his room doing goddamn... things.

Sasuke discovers something about the Uchiha clan.

After the loss of his wife and his predecessor, Minato throws himself into his work, leaving his son almost entirely alone. Naruto grows up shunned but never outright reviled, aware of his burden and achingly lonely. But it’s not his way to give up, and someday, with the help of Kakashi, Obito, and a few faithful friends, he’s going to show his father just what kind of shinobi he can be.

Obito snatches up the abandoned bottle, jogs three steps, and hurls it with all the force he can manage at the back of the white-haired litterer’s head, snarling, “Hey, asshole! It’s called recycling!”

An alternate Naruto ending, in which there are ghosts with a plan, teams reunited, apologies, and happy endings all around.

Sasuke starts calling Naruto "the missus" behind his back two months after moving in with him. It was, in retrospect, akin to ritual suicide.

Sasuke could care less about being trans-- until he is betrayed utterly and completely by his own body. He can't get off. It's a problem. (Or: “Who the fuck else am I going to ask?” Sasuke looks away, catches himself, and makes himself look back. He’s got a dojutsu, for fuck’s sake. He’s not afraid of eye contact. “No one.” Naruto snaps, almost offended by the idea, and it’s Sasuke’s turn to be surprised. “Sakura, maybe.” He amends. “Obviously it’s you.” Sasuke masks his surprise with haughty arrogance, but the words come out true-- so true. Obviously, it’s you. They ring like a bell through the room and through Sasuke’s rib cage, reflecting in Naruto’s eyes. “It’s always gonna be you.”)