"Dude, fucking Spock just sent us drinks."

More [info]help_haiti fic! [info]daemonicangel asked for some crossover Kris Allen - Jared Padalecki interaction, and when she said it didn't have to be porny or romantic, I took her at her word. There's a truckload of flirtation, but it doesn't quite go there as far as Jared/Kris is concerned. There is, however, manhandling, which is as it should be when someone of Jared's size meets someone of Kris's size, as far as I'm concerned. :D Plus, there's Jensen, because...well, there just is. And a little Misha.

Project Runway!au, including Gaius!Tim Gunn, Gruff Arthur, and natural fibers-loving Merlin. Also featuring Chris Pine and Zach Quinto because Zach was made to be on PR.

And then they make out.

Jensen hides his secret life in faux fur pillows, Jared decides to give him a surprise he'll never forget.

Darren's still not used to this whole "internet celebrity" thing. Especially when actual celebrities are also your fans.

Bradley was reasonably certain that Colin didn’t know about any of these things Bradley thought about sometimes (or all the time). His secrets were safe. Yet, in that case, why in the world had he shared his cake with Bradley? Bradley really needed to find a way to get his revenge on Katie for giving Bradley more opportunities to question his relationship with Colin and a harder time to get through his days without constantly seeking Colin’s brilliance.

The real story behind all the hoyay and boytouching on Heroes and Supernatural.

I wasn’t going to post this because it’s INSANE, but then...well. PWP! I wrote it! This never happens, guys, so...enjoy. In case you’re like WHO IN THE HELL IS BRENDON URIE? Here is a visual. He’s really hot and he makes funny faces like Darren does when he sings. Obviously they are MFEO.

Darren looks at Chris a little helplessly. “I think I could name, maybe, two people who have won American Idol. And that’s only because we’ve covered them on Glee.” “Oh.” Chris frowns slight before perking up once more. “Well, he’s super cute and religious but not like, over the top about it. He wouldn’t swear so he kept saying Gosh and Darn on the show.” “And you had a crush.” Darren finishes, smiling at Chris. “Ohhh, you get to flirt with your teenage crush!” Now he’s bouncing up and down on the couch. “This is fabulous!”

In which everyone works in the adult film industry. AU.

Coming out to a stranger online is easier. Doubly so when you're an professional athlete.

Lady Scarlett takes a bath with aid from her maidservant, Dayna.

A fanfic writer and Feminist Ryan Gosling discuss celebrity culture, gender and theory, and the political perils of Fassavoy fic.

You should totally write something about Darren and Chris relieving the tension of shooting this episode (3x05).

"What, you don't roll around with all your clothes on when you're having sex?" Darren asks, and Chris snorts into his shoulder. "Because that's, like, the only way I'll do it. Either roll or go home."

"If I were Christian fucking Bale, or Jesus Christ help me, Clooney in the nipple suit, gearing up to play Bruce fictional fucking Wayne, he'd send me a fucking fictional helicopter."

In which there are parties, awkwardness and orgasms.

“You really are good at that,” Dylan says, echoing his thoughts. “Good at what, exactly?” Chris says, lifting one finger to his mouth and licking it, which makes Dylan’s eyelashes flutter. “All of it,” Dylan sighs. “All of it. All the parts.”

In which the gay bar is Stalberg's idea and Kaner doesn't notice Jon pretending to be his boyfriend.

"Once there were two hockey players. One had great hair. One had a lot of brothers. This is their story." Or, Kris Letang gets a hug and Marc Staal meets a nice boy. Inspired by Morning to Wake You

Love advice with Canadians: the clueless leading the clueless who is in love with clueless.

Sidney is starting to get a reputation amongst the Pens for being the go-to guy for free childcare. Or, five times Sidney babysat and one time someone babysat for him.

It turns out that buddyfucking your best friend without shit getting weird requires constant vigilance.

The only jobs for which no man is qualified are human incubators and wet nurse. Likewise, the only job for which no woman is or can be qualified is sperm donor. -Wilma Scott Heide

“So, you Skype your boy a lot or something?” Kaner asks when he’s been there for a little while and heard Segs talk about Tyler enough to catch a clue. There’s something odd in his voice--a little plaintive, like he’s asking, so how do you deal with it? Segs hesitates, shrugs. Says, “Yeah, something like that.” Inside his head, Tyler laughs.

"We'll make this work somehow, sweetheart, won't we?" he said, swaying back and forth a bit as it warmed up. It probably made him look stupid, but he'd discovered there were a lot of stupid-looking things he'd do to keep his baby girl happy.

or, the many times Tyler Seguin tried to come out on Twitter and no one believed him.

Geno is sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why Sidney has a dresser drawer full of sex toys, but right now he's drawing a blank.

His mom had told him not to fall in love with houses; so had his dad, made some crack about them being worse than women, son, while his mom fake-punched him in the arm and then added, "and like people, it's what's underneath that matters, Johnny." But this is the first house he's looked at that he's liked, though he doesn't know why: it's got narrow, pointy windows with stone pieces on the tops like eyebrows, and it sits between its larger, tidier, neighbours like a poor cousin. Johnny thinks it maybe just needs someone to love it; and then he thinks: fuck.

They’ve had this connection for nearly as long as they’ve known each other; Patrick doesn’t know why it happened, what made it so that out of all the people in the world, it’s Johnny and only Johnny whose thoughts he can read, but there it is. One day it was just Patrick in his head, and the next, he’d woken up with the background awareness of Johnny in there too, and a panicked, thumping voice saying, Oh, shit. You too?

Generally speaking, Kaner is the kind of girl you hear before you see coming. In some cases, literally. --- AKA the one where Jonny accidentally watches Kaner and Segs fucking over skype.

None of them have discussed the fact that Duncs is dating knock-off Seabses, because what can they really do about it?

Claude gets a new car. Cameron doesn't like it.

Kaner apparently starred in a porno at some point in his life. Jonny becomes very, very invested in watching it. Repeatedly.

“People who want to eat my grilled cheese for dinner should learn not to interrupt the delicate purchasing process with their unwelcome mockery,” Claude says. Danny and Claude move to Berlin. Nothing really changes, until everything does.

"Does it change you, being turned?" Patrick asks. "I mean, obviously the physical stuff, but does it change who you are?" Erica takes off her helmet, then leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees. "It depends on how much the physical stuff makes you who you are, I guess."

"Penis doodles are encouraged on all homework. Awful innuendos are allowed. Extra credit if you can get me to laugh at them. And don't hit on me unless you're legal, 'cause I got crazy shit for that last time." (or, what Patrick Kane would be like as a sex ed instructor)

"Yes, Kaner," Sharpy's saying as Jonny sits down next to them with a beer. "It would indeed be gay to measure your teammates' dicks to find out whose is biggest."

This wasn't supposed to happen. In the lists of things Brent wasn't expecting, this is at least third on the list, after 'being able to talk to animals' and 'growing wings' (but before 'zombie apocalypse').

By the time Wang Yibo turns twenty, he's accepted that his dick is too big for sex, and he will be a virgin forever. Xiao Zhan begs to differ.

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

Xiao Zhan doesn’t bother listening or saying anything in response to Yibo's ranting, just holds the phone a little closer to his face and lets a low moan hover at the edge of his breathing. He’s looking at the red tip of Yibo’s cock where it peeks out from his foreskin and thinking about licking it. Yibo’s indignation comes through clearly over the phone. “Are you— Are you jacking it, Xiao Zhan?” “Uh huh,” Xiao Zhan sighs, and tries his best to let the wet sounds of his hand on his cock get louder. Maybe he should grab lube for extra squelchiness. “Oh, no way. Nope, I can’t handle this,” Yibo declares and the line goes dead. Xiao Zhan laughs softly to himself, and somehow that transforms into the convulsions of orgasm and he comes all over his hand. He takes a picture and sends it to Yibo. see you tomorrow

Wang Yibo's message reads: who do you think like initiates the first time

"You can't be serious," Xiao Zhan says. "Zhan-ge," Yibo cajoles, brandishing his PS4 controller and patting the couch next to him. "Just give me like, two minutes. I promise. I swear. I just gotta be online for this drop."

Xiao Zhan isn't sure when a normal evening drinking with his cast mates turned into watching porn with them, but the transition must have been both swift and head-spinning, and if pressed, he'd blame it on Yu Bin.

The beginning of something

Ji Li gulps in air, and then converts a moan into a low, whiny exhale. Yizhou's arm tightens around Ji Li's back, seemingly involuntarily. "Let me guess," Ji Li says, "you wanted to reach through the screen and comfort me like this." "Nah, it would be a very different movie if I did."

Li Bowen can have a little intimacy. As a treat. (Or: the one where the Yi City actors have a threesome in a hotel room.)

Anything that Xiao Zhan puts on him, around his neck, is great, and most often that is simply his hands. Like now, as they land first on Yibo’s shoulders, and then stroke up the sides of his neck, one curling to the front, wrapping around and gripping lightly. Yibo lets out a shuddering breath and leans into the touch. “You really want this, huh,” Xiao Zhan says, and Yibo nods.