“And now we send it over to the Vancouver Memorial Lectodrome for what is one of the most anticipated events of these Winter Olympics."

What would have happened if instead of Tanith and Johnny rooming together, Apolo and Johnny had roomed together? Obviously, sex. That's just logic.

John is the top male figure skater in the world, Rodney is the captain of Canada's hockey team. They run into each other at the winter Olympics.

Adam is a figure skater, Kris is a snowboarder. The Olympics are on. (Just go with the flow, this is too silly to have a summary anyway.)

after shotgunning weed, usa's short track team decide to play truth or dare. somebody dares jr to makeout with apolo, leading to hot, sweaty, awesome sex. don't worry about everyone else in the room, the rest of the team passed out.

Peggy and Bucky get to grips with certain thoughts Bucky's been entertaining with regards to Steve and Tony. Part of Olympics 'Verse.

Stiles wants to win for America, okay? He wants to bone that constipated expression off of Derek Hale’s face on a bed strewn with American flags while Bruce Springsteen plays in the background and a bald eagle watches through the window with a single tear rolling down its cheek.

"Come on! Do him for America, Chuey!" Hilary yelled.

Lots of people watch Geno. Like most people, really, at least let their eyes linger for a few seconds. For starters, he’s six foot three with a penchant for thick-soled combat boots and carefully sculpted hair arrangements that together can easily add 5 inches to his overall height. Then there’s the eyebrow ring, the purple streak through his dark hair, the smudged eyeliner, and typically, the tightest pants Geno can pour his fabulous if-he-does-say-so-himself ass into. All of those would be enough, any given day, to make people stop and stare. But today he’s also the guy most of North America watched in Prime Time last night, kicking ass and taking names as he as he swiped the Men’s Singles Gold from the clutches of that whiny fucking sore loser, Plushenko. So. Yeah, lots of people are watching him, but Sidney Crosby is not lots of people. He’s Sidney fucking Crosby.

PK didn’t come to Sochi with a plan to seduce Sidney Crosby. The plan sort of evolved over time